to have spent most of the night lying awake, worrying about money?

[MrsJossNaylor]

I know IABU really, but I can't stop panicking.

Our family income is above average, at £30k, but all it takes is one minor disaster (in this month's case, the MOT) to make things very, very tight.
It's halfway through the month, there's £250 left to last two weeks, the bills still haven't gone out and I don't know how we're going to cope.

I also feel really shit as we can't afford to do anything for DS's birthday, plus (selfishly) my hair is full of greys and split ends and desperately needs doing - but I can't afford to go to the hairdresser.

AIBU to stress so much about money when, in reality, I'm not even poor?

Another one here who knows exactly how you feel. Been there for more years that I care to count and got dozens of the t-shirt. It is total shit.

You are not alone. We too are on above average income at around £35k (husband's salary), but it has been very tight. I was an SAHM for many years because of the cost of childcare exceeding my earnings, and then having to cope with school hours and holidays without local family support. Then came the credit crunch and the double/triple dip recession just as I had reached the stage of being able to start working again, meaning my job search was frustrating and very prolonged.

I am working again now. Part time and not highly paid, but it is helping.

I have become a dab hand at shopping as economically as possible, hardly ever bought clothes for myself and virtually never had my hair done unless someone else, such as my parents, wanted to pay for it for my birthday or something.

It is a relief in a way to have a thread which does not involve some others mentioning how much money they have, how they save and pay for this, that or the other. They do come up at times, and can make some of us feel rather inadequate.

Hope things improve for you soon.

Ah ok, if DS is only 2 that is even better.

Google what's on in your area - there will be something free that he will love. Half term is jam packed with these things. City farms etc are god sends!

Topsey
It is a relief in a way to have a thread which does not involve some others mentioning how much money they have, how they save and pay for this, that or the other. They do come up at times, and can make some of us feel rather inadequate.

I earn loads more now that I am back full time and in a more senior role but that has it's drawbacks too. However, I never forget that stomach churning dread I had about 3-5 years ago. Money worries pervaded everything. I still have that mindset now and even though we're "comfortable" I just can't over extend myself or take financial risks. I feel like I've escaped from somewhere, it felt that constraining.

I hear you OP. We're in exactly that position and at an age where to keep running to Dad should be unheard of, it's something I do almost monthly. As someone said ^^ - it just takes one thing. This month it was the Car Tax, MOT, brakes HAD to be done on car, kitchen light fitting fell down and shattered, it's DH and DS birthday and it's beans and egg time round here with 2 weeks till payday. Nightmare.
I had no choice but to get the pound shop hair colour - I have to tell you it's every bit as good as, maybe better than, the main branded stuff. And it probably IS the branded stuff in a pound shop box.

What I did was to do a proper budget and include an amount to the savings account every month as an essential expense. Since we have done this we have not been hit by a big bill that we haven't had the savings to cover.
Our incoming is about £85 a month more than our total outgoings (including the essential saving) so we are not doing to badly now we budget but we were regularly going over drawn before we did.
Money worries suck.

This thread resonates with me.
Same here...I have £25 to last until the 30th...I'm so fed up of waking during the night worrying. We too on paper seem ok but seem to haemorrhage money. I work full time just over NMW and he has his state pension.
I've just gone through direct debits and cancelled anything not essential.

I'm sick of DH saying 'how come we haven't got any money' I'm sick of 'can you get me some baccy?' NO I FECKIN CAN'T, WHAT PART OF WE ARE SKINT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND!

So I will be walking 7 miles a day on top of the dog walk and the 4-5 miles at work as part of the job until the end of the month.
I hope the food can last.
I will lose weight!

I remember using my Boots points card to buy lunch once as I had a few pence left. It's OK to find life tough, it's a bad patch and things will pick up.

Look at vinted for buying/selling and swapping clothes. Find out if local college has a hairdressing department and volunteer, they don't do anything they haven't been taught over and over and practised how to do. I got cut and colour for £5 and it was lovely buf did take ages as she took her time (didn't bother me).

Spinderella, I totally understand what you are saying. Everything has its pluses and drawbacks. We are just now edging out of the financial doldrums.

The "stomach churning" dread you mention is a feeling I know all too well and will never forget either. When you have been there you never forget it, and want to make doubly sure you don't go back to it.

Ladysbil I have spent my entire adult life like this...the prospect of living like this for the rest of my life frankly leaves me and
I see no possibility of change, I don't even do the lottery as its a waste of precious £.

Where are you op? I will see if I can see anything lovely to do on your ds' birthday near you.