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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed of about this?

32 replies

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 15/10/2014 21:40

My DD is having a party at the weekend. I text one of the mums tonight to see if her DD was coming as I hadn't had a response. She has text back saying no, her DD won't be coming.

AIBU to think that she could have text earlier so I could have invited another child? I'm pressed for time now and won't be at school the rest of the week to see any other parents, so the place will probably be wasted Sad

OP posts:
PinkSquash · 15/10/2014 21:43

Could you pop a note in your DDs bookbag or phone another parent and ask?

Original poster
puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 15/10/2014 21:53

I will have to try and get in touch with another parent. I don't have a number for the mother of the girl I would invite in her place, so will take some ringing round i think. Also this woman knows her DD wasn't invited in the first round so to speak, do you think she'll be offended by the invite now?

OP posts:
Haggisfish · 15/10/2014 21:54

Probably, yes! I'd just leave it and have one child less.

Haggisfish · 15/10/2014 21:54

Well, not offended, exactly, but definitely slightly second best, as it were!

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 15/10/2014 21:57

Yes be careful with that op about asking another child as another one had dropped out.

Might cause offence.

OraProNobis · 15/10/2014 21:57

Is to text an actual verb? Only you seem to be using it as one but neglecting to use the correct tense. Reads rather oddly to me. Do people never speak to each other anymore?

wigglesrock · 15/10/2014 21:58

Maybe it didn't occur to the mum of the originally invited girl that you were running a two tier invite system to a child's party.

WorraLiberty · 15/10/2014 21:59

I don't know about it causing offence because everyone is different.

I think most parents understand the situation, so personally I'd write a note with your phone number on and give it to your DD to pass on to her friend.

Tell her to ask her friend to stick it in her book bag maybe?

futterwacken · 15/10/2014 22:01

Do any of the children attending have siblings who could use the spare place? Might be easier than ringing round and handing out awkward second-choice invites

gamerchick · 15/10/2014 22:02

There's no such word as texted if that's what you mean. ora unless you want to look like a 'insert word of choice'

Just leave it OP.. its one kid.

Original poster
puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 15/10/2014 22:04

Thanks for that Ora, incredibly insightful and helpful Hmm

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 15/10/2014 22:05

Yes just do what Ora said. That will solve your problem completely OP.

Oh no wait...

Original poster
puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 15/10/2014 22:05

I know its just one child, but its £10 a place and I am very low on funds at the moment and would be quite upset at 'wasting' a place.

OP posts:
Original poster
puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 15/10/2014 22:06

WRT the two tier system thing, I assumed it was normal to get back to someone to let them know you wouldn't be attending Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 15/10/2014 22:07

Do you think the hosting place would refund the money? The money is per child, so if there is one less is it acceptable to ask for that place to be refunded?

OP posts:
wigglesrock · 15/10/2014 22:09

It depends - I know there's a minimum amount of places that need to be paid for in our local place. I think you have to pay for at least nine places regardless of how many turn up.

Bowlersarm · 15/10/2014 22:09

YANBU to be pissed off. Very annoying.

BaffledSomeMore · 15/10/2014 22:11

We had a late invite this week for a party which I suspect was the second 'tier' of invites. I haven't said that to dd. She wants to go. Can't be bothered to get offended so accepted happily.
Send an invite in.

JimmyCorkhill · 15/10/2014 22:11

We got half the money back for non attenders at our soft play. Can you offer the place to a sibling of another attendee?

We've been obvious B list invites too but didn't mind, DD1 loves a party so we take what we get Grin

Bowlersarm · 15/10/2014 22:13

I'd send an invite in too. Most people have experienced being a bit of an afterthought. Someone might be thrilled to be invited.

thewomaninwhite · 15/10/2014 22:16

I would send an invite too and would not mind being second tier (also would not tell DD!) DD2's party is this weekend also and I am also chasing people. Tis bloody annoying! I have paid for the confirmed places and the venue agreed that I can pay on the day for any unconfirmed party children.

Hope you get sorted and that your DD has a good party :)

Original poster
puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 15/10/2014 22:18

I know the girl I am thinking of inviting would love to do it, Im just conscious of what her mother might think Confused

OP posts:
chocoluvva · 15/10/2014 22:37

Ach - send it and make her DD happy.

DS was asked to a sleepover as an afterthought on the instructions of the boy's dad who thought it was a shame for DS to be left out. DD was just pleased to go to the sleepover and he his friendship with the boy has developed as a result of it.

you've nothing to lose really Smile

maddening · 15/10/2014 23:20

Ora - to text is correct - by the Cambridge dictionary op should have said that she texted the woman - but it is just a post on an Internet forum and not an entry for the British writing awards.

I'll text you later, I am texting them now, I texted you earlier all seem to be correct - the dictionary keeps up with the evolving language as it should

dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/british/text

maddening · 15/10/2014 23:22

I would still attend and be glad my son got to go to a party.

It is rude to not RSVP but sometimes it is forgotten if lots is going on - just invite another dc.