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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

...to be pissed off by this team member?

25 replies

rainyevening · 15/10/2014 21:26

Cutting a long story short, I was working today with a junior member of my team on an unexpected, urgent and important piece of work. (I'm normally not her direct manager - he was out of the office today).

There was a mistake in what she produced, so I needed to sit down with her to go through it to find out how the mistake had happened so we could sort the rest of it out.

She turned to me and said, 'the thing is, I just find all this a bit tedious'.

I was and really quite pissed off...I was finding it fairly tedious too, and wasn't loving having my day disrupted by fixing her work, but being professional is just about getting on with it. And when I was her age and in her sort of job, I would NEVER have said anything like that to my boss (in fact, my boss's boss!).

Am I being an unreasonable old curmudgeon and was she just venting her frustration, or was I right to be pissed off?

OP posts:

Original poster

rainyevening · 15/10/2014 21:28

Sorry, meant to say have NC-ed for this for fear of outing!

OP posts:

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 15/10/2014 21:29

I'd be fairly f**ked off if it's any consolation

Owllady · 15/10/2014 21:31

So would I
It's just rude when you are giving her your time. Maybe so I to her manager when she gets back maybe suggest they chat about the job, occupational health etc

ThinkAboutItTomorrow · 15/10/2014 21:32

She's being immature and unprofessional. She's also really not understanding the world of work.

She's basically just announced she has poor attention to detail and no interest in working on it.

Big cross against her for me.

YANBU to be annoyed at the attitude. Guess she's not interested in career progression.

AimlesslyPurposeful · 15/10/2014 21:34

YANBU.

Very unprofessional of her, especially as she had made a mistake. She should have apologised for the mistake and made an effort to help sort it out as quickly and helpfully as possible.

TheBogQueen · 15/10/2014 21:35

Perhaps she just said the wrong thing. Sometimes people do.

AimlesslyPurposeful · 15/10/2014 21:42

"Perhaps she just said the wrong thing. Sometimes people do."

There's no perhaps about it. She did say the wrong thing and to the wrong person. She was making excuses for her mistake but just made matters worse.

And yes, of course people say the wrong things at times. Unfortunately sometimes you're held accountable for what you say.

theonlygothinthevillage · 15/10/2014 21:42

I may have some sympathy with her, depending on the details. Some companies lie or distort themselves during recruitment, then wonder why they end up with bored and disillusioned employees. I worked somewhere like that, and quickly lost interest and gave it barely 10% until I got out. Finding work tedious doesn't necessarily make you a bad person, or even a bad employee. If you have time to get into it you could talk to her about how she feels about the job. Could be she's feeling demotivated and underappreciated, especially if she's over qualified for it.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 15/10/2014 21:44

Was it tedious?
Was it part of her job description? Was the whole urgent issue down to her fuck up or did she make one mistake as part of the process?

I sometimes tell my boss's boss I find certain things tedious. He usually agrees with me. Maybe she thinks she can be honest with you?

Also is the urgent issue related to the absence of your direct report?

You probably ANBU but i couldn't tell from the available information.

ilovesooty · 15/10/2014 21:46

She was thoroughly unprofessional. If she feels unchallenged the proper place to address that is supervision.

ICantDecideOnAUsername · 15/10/2014 21:53

It rather depends on the circumstances and relationships etc. In my team I think most of them could say that to me and I would probably, if applicable, agree with them, have a chuckle about it and then encourage them to get on with it, along the lines of 'you're right, lol, but let's just get on with it and then we can get back to the more interesting stuff'. Maybe I'm just a weak boss . Although I can appreciate that if I was under pressure it might not be so relaxed about it. Who knows?

However, if she meant all of her job, rather than this particular task, then time for a 1-2-1 to see if she is happy in the job. She may be trying to tell you that something is wrong and as a manager it's your job to sort it out.

I'm very lucky in that I can be completely open and honest with my boss and have had many a rant (about other people) to let of steam and then we just laugh about it and get on and my lot can do the same with me too if they need to.

Norfolkandchance1234 · 15/10/2014 22:10

She is young & inexperienced so why not just explain to her nicely that you understand that she finds it tedious but it is best never to mention it again in any workplace or she could get fired. Jobs can be tedious as she will find out so best to keep hold of the one she has for now and to think before she speaks. Also advise her never to gossip or bitch about people either in the work place etc etc. It's a learning curve so help her learn. People need jobs and need to learn how to keep them. I would have laughed it off this once and said the above.

Original poster

rainyevening · 15/10/2014 22:57

Thank you all, this is really helpful.

To pick up on a couple of points raised - the work is very much part of the job description. A lot of it is quite routine, but the job is a well-recognised 'thing' in our line of work, and seen as very good experience/a good thing to have under your belt, that could give you good exposure and a good reputation if you do it well. So she knew what she was signing up for...

The urgency was only down to circumstances - a thing happened that we had to respond to, it was no one's fault and not down to her line manager's absence.

Those of you who have said maybe she was just being open and honest - I think this has really helped to clarify why it bothered me, which is why this has been so helpful. I think it's actually part of a wider pattern of behaviour which suggests that she's not that bothered, and this shows in her work. For instance, one day when I corrected some apostrophes in her work, she said, 'Oh, are you one of those grammar Nazis?'. In general, she misses deadlines, rarely does more than the minimum and just displays an overall lack of commitment.

I get what people are saying that maybe it's time for a conversation about why she's feeling unmotivated, but I sort of feel...this is the job, you knew what you were signing up for, so find something else if you can't/won't deliver.

I work in the public sector, so it would be very difficult to fire her (in response to someone who mentioned that this could be pointed out to her as a risk) but I feel that we're all paid taxpayers' money so we have a responsibility to make best use of it. And so I get pissed off when someone takes the piss.

OP posts:

ChelsyHandy · 15/10/2014 22:58

OMG what an attitude! What will you do?

JustSpeakSense · 15/10/2014 23:06

I don't think she respects you.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 15/10/2014 23:24

OK, thanks for clarifying. In that case YANBU.

Wonc · 15/10/2014 23:34

Yanbu. At all. Her attitude is terrible.

MomOfTwoGirls2 · 15/10/2014 23:49

You just reminded me of something that happened many many years ago, in my first manager position. We just had a dept meeting (two levels up from my team). One of my team told me that she tunes out for 'all the boring bits'. My jaw dropped, I found those meetings fascinating, and was shocked to the core that any of my team would not be similarly interested. But I didn't comment (jaw was on the floor)...

Now, I wouldn't be shocked. But it would piss me off for sure.
Unless I already had good relationship with that employee, it would mark their copybook. And if a young employee, I'd have to seriously restrain myself not to use my 'pissed off Mom voice' that I use at home with my DDs in similar circumstances.

BOFster · 16/10/2014 00:09

Perhaps you should encourage her to apply for The Apprentice?

theonlygothinthevillage · 16/10/2014 06:58

Thanks for the explanation, it sounds like YANBU in that case.

MintyCoolMojito · 16/10/2014 07:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 16/10/2014 14:13

I'd tell her that she should look for a job in the private sector where her talents will be rewarded.

Technically that's true.....

WorkingBling · 16/10/2014 16:01

If you, as the senior person, have concerns. I'd address it with her boss and get him to address it wth her. Quite clearly she has no pride in her work. However, her immediate boss should also be held responsible for the quality of her work and should be working with her to help her to improve.

Norfolkandchance1234 · 16/10/2014 16:13

I agree yanbu - she has got an attitude problem but if she has been there under a year or even 2 now - after a couple of disciplinaries she may have to re think her options.

ICantDecideOnAUsername · 16/10/2014 16:18

The extra info is interesting. It sounds like a performance issue but you and her boss have a responsibility to sort it out or it will get worse. As a manager you have a responsibility to her, your wider team and the organisation. What we think and what we say can be two very different things. I've often felt like I want to say one thing to someone (along the lines of 'stop taking the piss and be grateful you've got a job') but I say something completely different to them. That's what MN is here for, to be a sounding board that doesn't get you fired or in trouble .

I'm in the public sector and I can tell you that it is not impossible to get someone fired for poor performance. It is just a long and laborious process. But she may not be at that stage. I think you or her boss need to speak with her and manager her performance (and possibly expectations of the job). Maybe the job isn't quite what she expected or she has personal issues that are making her lose concentration or get depressed and give up caring. If the former, could she look for a sideways move that is more her thing? If the later then it may need a very different approach. Sometimes being a manager is like being a counsellor, parent, best friend, teacher and leader all in one.

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