To not apologise for having a supportive family?

[Wowthishurtsalot]

I'm not going into details for fear of being outed but I feel like I'm constantly having to apologise to a couple of 'friends' who have pretty unsupportive families simply because my own are very hands on.

I know I'm really lucky but I'm sick of apologising for it AIBU

I don't think you need to apologise for it ... just to be understanding that others are not as fortunate as you are. It is very galling to be faced by friends who don't understand that - no, you don't have extended family that will drop round and baby sit at the drop of a hat.

Why do you feel you have to apologise for it?

I assume you don't listen to your friends saying oh I am all alone and reply oh dear, well I have an amazingly supportive family, or anything crass like that. So there's really no reason you should feel bad about being fortunate enough to have support. If your friends are making undeserved comments apropos of nothing, then ask them to stop.

Why are you apologising for it? Are they accusing you of something which causes you to apologise? I don't see how this situation would arise - and apparently arise so many times that you are sick of it.

I don't brag about it by any means! In fact it's never me who brings it up usually them when they can't get a sitter (even though I frequently offer they never take me up on it instead preferring to moan they don't have anyone they can call on). I'm fed up with the green eyes now for something that is out of my hands

You sound as though you are way way overthinking this. You have nothing to apologise for so really - stop doing that. If these people are envious of you that's not your problem. If they're upsetting you then ditch them. Life is too short for all this angst over nothing.

Don't apologise. You don't owe anyone an apology

My parents and PIL are elderly and can't do childcare or babysit for us. Most of my friends have two salaries coming into the house because grandparents childmind for them, free of charge. They get to go out together because grandparents can babysit. They don't owe me an apology for having more money than us and a better social life due to their family situation. If your friends resent your supportive family they're not very good friends.

wow are you me?

I have a very hands on and supportive family, I'm also in the position to choose to be a SAHM. I am sick of being told i 'don't know how lucky' i am etc etc. yes i do know I'm lucky but what am i supposed to do? refuse to allow my family to spend time with me and the DC because your family is a waste of space??

same as you, i always offer to help with childcare etc for my friends who i know don't have support but they never take me up on it because 'you already have 3' - i wouldn't offer if i didn't mean it!!

sorry, i seem to have hijacked your thread for my own rant! basically i know exactly how you feel!

Rant away! It's nice to hear others feel the same wag

Well I'm sure I do often say things like "It's nice that your mum / dad is so nearby and can help out." My family is supportive but far away and I can see that it would be nice if we lived in the same town. Doesn't really mean I'm jealous or expect you to apologise for your set up. There are good reasons why I don't live near my parents (work related mainly) and those outweigh at the moment the benefits of being near them.

It's human nature. Of course people are going to be a bit envious if you have baby sitters on tap etc and they haven't have an afternoon off in months. You don't need to apologise but perhaps be aware that you have it pretty good.

I have very supportive parents who can't get enough of their DGC. I was always very aware that my life was much easier than many of my friends' when DC were small - even though sometimes I found it tough even with all the support I had.

I always tried to pay it forward. I didn't often need a favour from friends because my mum would be my first port of call and usually made herself available but I was always happy to help friends who needed a baby sitter, someone to pick a sick child up from school, have a couple of extra DC for an afternoon so a friend could do the shopping in peace or to do more than my share of playdates or lifts to clubs etc.

I I have a particular friend who does this. Our situations are very different and she often comments on my family and homelife.
I babysit for her as her as her parents are quite selfish.
She does comment as I said and sometimes I get a little annoyed but we have had issues this summer because of this. Don't apologise just ignore them.

We'll we are on our own. Closest family is over 400 miles away but we chose to move. Some of my friends have lots of very close family nearby who offer a lot of help. Whilst I sometimes wish we had that help and family nearby and think they are lucky - why would I expect them to apologise or feel bad about it? I'm glad they have lovely supportive families.

I think you might be overthinking this or reading too much into things.

YANBU. As a fully supportive, hands on parent I am constantly made to feel uncomfortable by my DC less than supportive in-laws. I appreciate we are all different but having supportive family doesn't make you a freak and shouldn't be something you should apologise for.