Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

To wonder if other people find life stressful or if I have anxiety?

16 replies

saltnpepa · 13/10/2014 20:57

I have three kids, 2, 5 and 6 years old and we have no family nearby so have never had any real help with anything. We have some good friends but they all have small children too so nobody can help with anything either although we sometimes all help eachother out with pick ups from school. Two of the three children have health issues which although are not serious are an added worry. I have a very stressful job and a long journey to and from work but I love my job.

I find all the running about from one thing to the next stressful and feel I never have any time for me, no time at all to just sit and let my mind wander. I feel I am always full up with the next thing to do, always a bit late, always stuck in traffic, always doing lots of things at the same time. Sometimes I feel stressed for no definable reason, sort of uptight and tense and sometimes this feeling can last for a few days until I either cry, lose my temper with someone or catch myself and do something relaxing like go for a swim. I worry about us being ill because there is nobody to help out with the kids and sometimes I think I am a bit neurotic because I won't arrange to see friends if I know they've been ill because I just don't have time for the added burden of illness. However, I don't sit around worrying about being ill or do anything obsessive about that worry. I can relax and do on the weekends but sometimes I am just locked in being stressed and running around trying to keep all the plates spinning in the air. I eat well and generally sleep well although will have the odd bad night and still can have fun but don't seem to get much chance at the moment. So I am wondering if it is normal to feel all this is stressful or if I have some sort of anxiety disorder.

OP posts:

ChampagneTastes · 13/10/2014 21:00

I think you have a very very busy life and it's perfectly reasonable for you to be stressed but at the same time it might be wise to seek some help in managing it. Have you got a DP? What do they say about it? Do they feel similar?

Original poster

saltnpepa · 13/10/2014 21:03

I have a DH, he is mr chillax! That doesn't help!

OP posts:

lotsofcheese · 13/10/2014 21:08

Sounds very similar to my life; DP works long hours, no family support nearby, 2 young kids & I work/commute.

I always have that list of things to do in my head, always rushing around, constantly clock-watching & trying to keep it all together. I often feel on edge, rarely relax.

I think it's par for the course with young DC. I hope it gets easier.

WooWooOwl · 13/10/2014 21:10

You have three children, a home to run and you work, it would be wierd if you didn't feel stressed during most of the week.

You could have some kind of anxiety, but it may well be something that passes naturally as your children need less from you physically.

You could try going to a meditation session or doing an excercise class or something that would help relax your mind, you must have stuff going on on there constantly and it might need a little help to quieten down sometimes!

OneSkinnyChip · 13/10/2014 21:10

I think anyone would be stressed under those circumstances. I would find it more strange if you weren't stressed tbh. Try and make some 'you' time

notagainffffffffs · 13/10/2014 21:15

Sounds like normal life for me! How important is your job to you? Could you not find something closer?

Original poster

saltnpepa · 13/10/2014 21:16

Oh thank you for the reassurance. DH is so relaxed he's always asking me why I'm stressed and although he does his fair share it's as if he doesn't take on the weight of it if that makes sense. All my friends have family nearby who help and come if there's an emergency and I've lost count of the number of hair-raising situations I've been in with the kids with nobody else to count on.

OP posts:

whois · 13/10/2014 21:21

Even if you just have 'normal' amazing/stress it is probably be a good idea to try different ways of managing it. Mindfulness maybe? That seems to works for a lot of people.

When my work is very busy I sometimes find myself feeling overwhelmed and anxious and have to make a conscious effort to centre myself and bring myself back and deal with the stress rationally.

Your life is going to be full of low level amazing and stressful situations given your young family. Can you identify times when you feels worse? Eg school run or getting ready or something? Then you could put in place practical steps to help.

shesawseashellsontheseashore · 13/10/2014 21:21

You work full time, have three children under 6 and have no family nearby. I would call that a stressful life rather than anxiety!

Can you pinpoint when you feel worst? We might be able to offer some coping strategies.

whois · 13/10/2014 21:22

Normal anxiety/stress. Not amazing stress!

sunnyrosegarden · 13/10/2014 21:33

You are very busy, juggling home, children, work, life - of course you feel stressed!

And the reason your dh is relaxed is probably because you are doing the thinking. Who needs what for the morning, what's for tea, what clothes do you need etc etc.

I wrote a very similar post a few years ago, but am pleased to say that it does get easier as they get older. I can usually find the odd hour to myself now.

missymayhemsmum · 14/10/2014 00:15

Sounds like you have a very busy life but may be a bit of a perfectionist/ worrier? Do you give yourself credit for all the things that go right in your week or beat yourself up when things go wrong and worry about things that might happen?

forago · 14/10/2014 00:19

I feel exactly like you. Also 3 young children and ft job. I often feel anxious and stressed and feel like I've lost the ability to relax over the years. I often wonder whether I should get treatment for anxiety. tbh though I think it's probably a symptom of my lifestyle and never having time to think straight.

ZuluBob · 14/10/2014 00:50

I felt stressed just reading your OP. I think it's completely normal to feel how you do in the circumstances. Things should improve when the kids get a little older. They get so much easier very quickly.

my advice would be to accept that you will feel a bit stressy from time to time but to try and make things as easy as possible for yourself. Easy meals, get a cleaner (if you can afford it) ask your DH to do more, don't try and be a super mum, cut back on kids activities. Etc etc.

good luck.

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 14/10/2014 00:55

Sweetheart why wouldn't you be stressed?

Could you possibly cut your hours? Or get a cleaner? Ironing lady?

The thing is your dh sounds like mine was, he would do anything I asked but he wouldn't see what needed to be done from the kids letters in the book bags to the planning for the lunch boxes.

It gets better.

wobblyweebles · 14/10/2014 01:56

Yes I think your reaction to your stressful life is normal.

I also wanted to reiterate that it gets better. I just went away with my children to a house that we visited when they were 7, 5 and 3. Now they are 13, 11 and 9 it really brought it home to me how much easier it is now. SO so much easier.

Can you afford any help? It would be good to know you have someone (paid) to fall back on if you do really lose your ability to keep up with it all.

Flip