To think working as a nanny for my DM is a good idea?

[PeachyParisian]

My DM is going to employ as a nanny to look after my DB who will be 6 months old when I start (yes, there's a bit of a gap!) I'll only be doing 2 full days a week, from 8-6. He will be going to a CM for 2-3 days a week.

What is a fair rate of pay? I have 4 years childcare experience, but I've never worked in the UK so I don't really know! We are in the South East. I'm not after a competitive wage, this is very convenient for me and will be a little more relaxed than most jobs, plus it's family. I adore my DB and would do it for free if I was in a position to, but ultimately these 2 days are days I now will not be able to work elsewhere.

My DM knows she's got to sort of the NI side and so on but we haven't properly discussed pay because I don't know what to ask for. Is an hourly wage best? Or daily and I overlook overtime? Not that there's likely to be any but she might be delayed on a commute, have an evening meeting and my DF might otherwise be occupied.
Also how do I draw the line? If she wants me to babysit on an evening/weekend in the way you'd ask a family member how do I determine when I'm off the clock? I don't want her to feel she can't ask me because I'll charge and ask my Dsis instead.

Is this really going to work? It's quite unusual and I don't know anyone who's been in the same situation that I can ask.

Live in is different for pay, you usually earn lower due to no household bills. Weekly net earnings would be around £300-350 unless your doing very long and anti-social hours.

It's live out littlebairn and it would be 8-6 so not terribly antisocial

It wasn't really an eye roll at me expecting money for mileage, it was because I felt the need to point it out to her.

If she didn't use me my DB would be going to the childminder 5 days a week which would be considerably cheaper than using me (nanny) which is a factor in me not wanting £10ish an hour!

8-6 is fairly good hours for live out. Live out you really do need to be paid the proper amount unless you can find another family to do a share for the days you wouldn't have your brother.

It wasn't really an eye roll at me expecting money for mileage, it was because I felt the need to point it out to her

No, no - you misunderstand - it's still a problem. The point is, if this is genuinely going to work, she must genuinely be able to treat you as she would a professional person she is employing - not a daughter. She must have the capacity (emotional maturity, perhaps?) to be able to keep the working relationship as it would be were you not a family member. Otherwise, it will fall apart quickly - either she will take advantage, or get upset with you doing things your way, or micromanage - a thousand little pitfalls which come with the territory when you're a nanny to someone's precious child. Usually, the professional distance in the relationship means that no, mum doesn't end up screaming HOW COULD YOU BE SO STUPID or, indeed, eye-rolling at nanny when things don't go exactly to plan.

In other words, if your mum had been having a discussion on potential employment terms with a person she was thinking of hiring as a nanny, would she have rolled her eyes at her when she mentioned car use? Of course not. Because that would be utterly patronising, inappropriate, and rude. But your mum - despite you saying you have a good relationship - feels able to treat you in that manner. I have to say, I would not appreciate feeling that kind of casual little flick of disrespect from anyone, family or not - and if I was subjected to it, I'd certainly have no intention of being silly enough to start working for them.

Seems a trivial little thing - but really isn't.