To carry a crucifix, holy water, holy earth and bible?

[Jasonandyawegunorts]

And a silver spoon, Just in case?

The earth is from Jerusalem by the way, it's not just random mud, I'm not mad.

You'd need to put the crucifix into a tiny biohazard suit.

And soak it in bleach. In fact, soak everything in bleach.

I'd stick with the garlic (unbleached). You know the saying 'an apple a day keeps the doctor away'? Well, sufficient garlic keeps everyone away.