AIBU to be annoyed he thought this?

[jammygem]

I've been with my current DP for only 2 months. I'm on Cerelle but it seems to have failed and I found out on Tuesday that I'm pregnant. It's been a very difficult time, and we've decided that neither of us are in the position to raise a child at the moment. Please do not judge me on this, I'm having a hard enough time coming to terms with this as it is.

Obviously I've been quite emotional and stressed, so I don't know if I'm BU to be annoyed about this or not. I made a not very funny joke the other night about him causing enough trouble already, which he was very confused about. Turns out he thought the pregnancy was from before him. We had been seeing each other for only a month or so before we got together "officially", so I do appreciate it's all been very quick. But I have mentioned that I haven't slept with anyone else for 6 months or so prior to that. I don't know why his comment about "I thought this was from pre-me" upset me so much. Does he think I would sleep around with men without protection?

I'm fully prepared to be told I'm BU and this is all just the hormones kicking in, but I do feel upset by what he said.

Wow this thread is full of angelic do-gooders!

Dating for 3 weeks - umm yes, you would have had sex within that time. She is not posting to justify herself, just answer the question she has asked!!!

YANBU

YANBU

I would be mortified if my boyfriend had assumed this of me. Surely it's a default position to assume it's his?

You say you've been close friends for years, so it's not as though you've just met and he has no idea of your personality or whether you are the type to bounce from one sexual relationship to another without a gap.

The fact that your pregnant so early on into your relationship says nothing, zilch about you. It is as much his doing as yours, so the fact you 'gave it up' to him quickly also means nothing - as he did too. He should not be making assumptions because of it.

Sounds to me like he was hoping it might be someone elses, to relieve his own stress. He owes you an apology for such an assumption, not you him!

Its not surprising you're feeling put out by this. Definitely need to work on communication with your DP, and he is your DP if that's how you wish to define your relationship. There are some really judgemental comments here, please don't take them to heart. As for the comments about sex 3 weeks in.... Geez! Really?!

Have a sit down with him and tell him how you feel. YANBU.

I don't care if it was 3 hours into the relationship, other people sex life has zilch to do with me.

The pill does for many women provide protection against pregnancy, but does not protect against STD.

The pill is a valid form of contraception in a relationship. Especially as she's known him years. Otherwise what is the pill for.....

I don't know the ins and out of close friends sex life, I wouldn't know how often they have sex.

You are and you aren't BU - sorry.

Not, as you are in a difficult place and all emotional.

Are BU as he didn't judge you, just thought it was pre-him... which it could have been. He didn't think you were a total slut because you had slept with other men, or that you MUST be a badd'un as you are pregnant. He just seems, from your posts, to have accepted your unfortunate position as just that!

I think all of that plus his saying he now knows why you are finding it more tricky says a lot about him - for the good.

Going by the OP's posts STI/STD doesnt seem to be the issue here. Its a shame that pointless judgements are derailing the thread.

I'm sorry you're going through this OP. This can happen to anyone. I hope you have some RL support? Keep talking to each other too. He will have emotions to deal with as well.

Without going into the details of how and why, we both knew we are 'clean' so didn't need to worry about that side of protection. Honestly I'm a bit taken aback by some of the judgemental comments, I know I've been a bit stupid but I didn't expect to be made to feel so shitty about it at an already shitty time. That said, I did post in AIBU!

Thanks for everyone's kind words. I don't actually have any RL support other than him so it's nice to know that I can come on here. The more I think about it, the more I realise it was a bit of an over reaction on my part and that I guess neither of us had communicated pretty well.

My goodness there are some horrible judgemental responses on here! It's no one else's business at what stage OP and her partner started calling each other partner / boyfriend. Being on the pill clearly does count as protection, I'm so sorry that it's failed you on this occasion.

I think that he will be feeling very confused and scared, as you are, and has probably said the wrong thing in his way to work through what's the right thing to do. Unfortunately because it has been such a short relationship so far I think he would be concerned if it's his, and I think that even though you're not being unreasonable to be upset by the suggestion, you'll have to suck it up as a reasonable question.

I hope you're ok OP and make the right decision for you

Maybe you both were in a bit of shock OP? Communication can fuck up then. Things happen, don't let anyone make you feel shit about yourself. Hope things go well for you.