To be annoyed that someone told my 6 year old that the tooth fairy is not real?

[Notnastypasty]

One of the mums that I'm friends with at the school was picking up her dd last week and said 'another tooth out for my dd, more money for me to spend'. I motioned to her that her dd (6) could hear her and she shrugged her shoulders and said 'ah she knows its me that does it'. Each to their own, no problem. But today my dd says that this child has been telling all the children in the class that there is no tooth fairy. I found out about Father Christmas aged 5 and was hoping I could string it out for a few more years with my children especially as dd hadn't even lost a tooth yet!!

As we're friends and she told me that she'd given her child the truth I sent her a text that said 'I'll see you tomorrow at blah blah, btw if you tell dd about Santa etc, perhaps you could ask her to keep it a secret as some kids don't know! Hope you don't mind me saying xx'

She's taken massive offence at this and I'm wondering if I shouldn't have said anything?! But I honestly wouldn't have minded someone saying similar to me. Or am I being outspoken?!

It's not about whether it's true or not it's about keeping the magic alive

I'd be pissed off if another mother said that in ear shot of my child

What they choose to tell their children is up to them but I don't want it to infringe on what I tell mine

I'd be annoyed if that situation has happened to me. Simply because dd (6.5) hasn't yet lost a tooth and is so excited about the tooth fairy. It's nothing something we've particularly encouraged but I have had to tell her that the tooth fairy is different for each family, for when she questions why her friends get more than her.

Tinytrotters how would you stop another mother from discussing whatever she wants with her child? If your child is in 'ear shot ' that would not be her problem, not sure why you would get pissed off?

What does "massive offence" mean? What has she said?

And what are the other "inappropriate" things she has told her child? Need to know before I can form an opinion on this

My niece believed in FC until she was 10 so I'm not convinced all children know by the age of 5 or whatever.

DD1 is nearly 7 and doesn't believe in fairies 'except the tooth fairy Mummy'. Not sure if that's doublethink or trying to convince me she still believes so she still gets money and it doesn't stop her reading the fucking Rainbow Fairy books. We're pretty low key about FC/TF and she has known for a few years that the FCs in shops aren't real (she asked). I think it's fun though so don't go for outright dismantling of the myth, I think it's more instructive to let them work it out for themselves as they grow up.

Princesstheresa - massive offence as in won't speak to me and bitching about me to someone else
She speaks to her child like she's an adult really - her dd was making other kids frightened with stories of blood and pain after being allowed to stay up and watch one born every minute aged 5!

IME, children will believe in such things for as long as they want to. If they aren't ready to give up the belief, it doesn't matter how many other children (or adults) tell them the score.

I have one friend who believed it all uncritically until a ridiculously late age (I think 13?). She only learned the truth when out for lunch with her mother one day. Her mother said something like, "Oh, that top looks really nice on you, I'm so glad I got it for you." And my friend said, "What do you mean? The Easter bunny gave me this top!" Her mother decided enough was enough at that point.

YANBU. I also had a child (whose parents are of a different religion) tell dc there was no such thing as FC at 6. I didn't say anything to the parents (didn't know them) and probably wouldn't if I did, but I was very upset and dc was as well.

Clap you don't really believe that do you? My daughter worked out (all on her own) that Santa & the Tooth Fairy weren't really at (only just) 5yo. Not all children believe until they are told, it very much depends on the personality of the child. For what it's worth it hasn't spoiled Christmas at all.

I love Mumsnet, half the posts complaining about their children being taught about religion (because they don't believe it's true) and the other half complaining that their children are bring told the truth.

Our policy is to always answer questions truthfully so my kids know about Santa, sex etc because they've asked the question. It's not that big a deal. However Understanding that not everyone agrees with us we have explained to them not to discuss these things with their friends.

My DS is 8 and firmly believes in FC and the TF! I hope to keep this going for a few more years! When he says there are others in his class who say there is no Santa I simply laugh at him and ask him how does he think all his presents get under the tree in 1 night - that DH and I wouldn't have the time for shopping for it nor could we afford it!! He takes that at face value and believes FC has delivered! I'd be really annoyed if another adult told him these things were make believe - the other kids, well I've explained to him that other children don't always tell the truth!

Huh,

My dd 15 stopped dh putting an old torn sock into the fire last night because it might have feelings!

You cannot tell her fairies don't exist. She won't listen.

Bless. Yanbu op keep the magic.

Some parents and kids are boring.

"Mummy a girl at school told me that there's no Santa and that parents buy the presents"

"That's what parents of naughty children tell them so they aren't sad when Santa doesn't come."

There you go, sorted.

I went down the Terry Pratchet route of telling the children that FC only came to people who believed in him.

They went on believing until the youngest were 19, when I had to put a stop to it as I had had enough of trying to stay awake long enough to creep into their bedrooms and put stockings on their beds......... I think I was outwitted .

It seems a shame to stop children believing in tooth fairies before their teeth start coming out...... My own faith was shattered early on. I was told to put the tooth on the mantlepiece, behind an ornament, so that it would not get lost. At bedtime, it had gone, because my mum had dusted it (being a proper 1060s housewife) and she assured me the tooth fairy would leave the money there. The tooth fairy forgot. A sixpence did finally make an appearace the next day; but by then, I wasn't too sure about the toothfairy.

"They went on believing until the youngest were 19"

19? If the youngest were 19 how old were the others?

Only one. 21. He does what his sisters do

Apparently I'm very unreasonable as I've now been told by her in a long rant to never speak to her or contact her again - all because of that text!! Tell me she's a psycho?! Our dd's are in the same class so surely just a polite hello instead of making things awkward for our mutual friends would have been more adult?

She finished off her rant by saying her dd was very upset after reading my text
I'll keep my texts to myself in future

Maybe you got told off because she read this thread and now knows you think she is a twat and a shit- stirrer.

probably best all round

Cote - she definitely is not on mumsnet. Records Jeremy Kyle to watch in the evenings if she's at work ul that day.

Oh dear never mind.

Move on, make better friends x

Thebody and daylillie that's made my day. That poor sock. And your DCs still believing at 21. I love it!

I hope DS still believes in the magic when he's older. He's 6 now and still totally in to it all.

A friend told me the other day that her 12yr old DS heard a comedian saying something about 'lying to your kids about FC'. He turned to her and said, 'WHAT?'. She replied, 'He's a comedian. He's just saying it for laughs'. The 12 yr old said, 'Oh well that's OK then'. I love it! I just love the thought of her big strapping 12 yr old (he's taller than me!) still believing.

Sorry, and OP YANBU. Sorry to hear about your friend being so horrible.