To want help NOW?

[bulimicanddepressed]

I''ve been trying to get help with my mental health for over a year now. Keep being promised referrals and nothing happens.

I have bulimia and its hell. I relapsed last year after a bad break up and its been going on ever since. Ive gained 20 pounds and I've totally forgotten how to eat.

I'm too scared to not count calories. I think about food all day long and can only hold it together for 3 days max before I end up binging and purging all day. When things were really bad last winter I spent over 1000 pounds within a couple of months on food to binge and purge.

Its making my life hell. I want to eat all the time. I think about food all the time. I keep trying to get help but just get told it will be chased up. I feel like its not being taken seriously because I'm not severely anorexic (Although I've been there too). I almost died last year after an overdose, I almost had a partial transplant. I don't feel suicidal anymore but I just want my eating habits to fix themselves.

If I could go be an inpatient until I learnt how to eat inuitively again, I would in a heart beat. Things have been getting worse lately as my mum has recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer and has been in hospital pretty much ever since, with only a few months life expectancy. I'm 22 and live at home and feel completly alone in the world.

I have amazing friends who know I have food issues but I'm too ashamed to tell them the details and I don't want to put anymore on them

I just want professional help before I go mad. I did a self referral to talking therapies a week ago and they were meant to contact me within 3 working days but they didn't. I've researched online for hours looking for advice, I've read books, listened to hypnosis. Tried multiply techniques but I just can't seem to do it on my own. I just want my life back.

HI OP, didn't want to read and run. HAve no experience, but I do think you are very brave for acknowledging that you need help. I am sure there will be someone on here who can point you in the right direction and offer you advice.

Best of luck.

That sounds miserable.

Why can't you go in as an in-patient? I thought one could self-refer. You might have to go through A&E.

You want to get well and that matters so much. Well done for seeking help.

Could you commit yourself to local psych unit?

this may help
I hope you get the help you want and need. You are brave to come here and talk about it.

This may sound odd, but have you looked at what support you could be offered as a carer? I had serious mental health issues during my mums final illness, and the hospice she was sent to offered me daily counselling, until she passed and then referred me to 1:1 counselling, which I've had for the past year which really helped. I hope you manage to get the support you need.

Well I say I'd do it in a heartbeat but realistically I can't, I'm currently caring for my mums (6!) dogs and her horses, there's no one else who can.

But I wouldn't of thought that it was an option for me, especially given how unseriously the GP seems to take it all? I assumed that was more for people who are literially on the brink of doing irreversable damage.

Thanks for the link, and Chocogirl - I havn't really, although I'm not really her carer as she's been in hospital with various related problems pretty much constantly since the diagnosis.

Thank you, I just needed a vent. The problem seems to be, even if the ball ever gets rolling, there's always paperwork and waiting lists ect so nothing ever happens within a few months but what do I do meanwhile? I'm trying to help ymself the best I can but I just can't do it on my own :(