AIBU to needs some fierce words of wisdom

[PiperRose]

So, 2 months-ish out of an EA relationship. I know I did the right thing to end it. But tonight I'm having a wobble, I still love him and miss him so much. Talk some sense in to me.

Remember why you left him. Remember that he won't ever change, no matter how much you wish it so. You will never be happy with him.

Thank you, just what I need. I guess I will always love him, I just need need to stop thinking about him.

There's an amazing Larkin poem called, 'Since the majority of me'.

It's very short, and clear: that when we end a relationship we do so for the right reasons. But afterwards, all the residual emotion emerges, and we obsess on what we had hoped for, longed for from the relationship, in the first place.

What you're feeling is natural, part of the grieving process, and nothing to do with really wanting him back. Because you know the reality of who he is is a very bad thing.

What do you love about him.

You're missing the idea of him.

You're not missing him because he was an abusive wanker.

you need to love yourself more

You won't always love him with the intensity you feel now even if a little nugget remains. It takes time but eventually you'll see a lot clearer about the man he was and be able to come to terms with it.

It's not been long. You've been very brave to embark on your new adventure. You've got so much love inside you and whilst I hope that you meet someone else who is kind and considerate one day I hope you reserve a lot more of that love for yourself.

If he was EA then he probably undermined your confidence and made you feel dependent on him. This will pass!