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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to sit in an empty birth pool til baby comes?

17 replies

ithoughtofitfirst · 10/10/2014 18:27

Also kind of need your advice on what to do to help me keep calm. Even if unrelated to chilbdbirth. Just general tips on helping anxiety?

I have been absolutely bricking it about my labour this time. Heart pounding, nightmares, teary, stomach acidity. Mostly about the thought of going in to hospital and leaving my son so i have decided to try for a home birth. I had a pool birth in mlu last time so i've bought a pool for the house. But now that the anxiety about hospital has been removed i'm just nervous about the pain. I can't win. I wish I didn't know how much childbirth hurts haha!

Currently sitting in an empty pool eating a chinese.

I'm an anxious mess. Can you tell?! Any tips? Please Grin

OP posts:
Charitybelle · 10/10/2014 18:38

I could have written your post Smile
Currently shitting myself about labour. Dd1 was a water birth and fairly straightforward, was still the worst, most hideously painful 9 hours of my life!
Haven't opted for home birth so far as no room for home pool, and I really feel I will need the water for pain relief. Plus also worried about dd seeing me in labour (I screamed like a demented loon for pretty much the whole thing last time). I also do not want to leave my dd for any length of time
So, no advice really just commiserations, its rubbish.....Sad

idiuntno57 · 10/10/2014 18:38

My home births were fairly painless (its all relative). Partly I think because I was masses more relaxed being at home with my things. I would spend some time planning how you are going to get the room ready so it is exactly as you want it. Music, candles etc. etc. so focusing on the environment not the action as it were. You do get gas and air for home births so it doesn't have to be entirely drug free.

puntasticusername · 10/10/2014 18:46

You're heavily pregnant and anticipating labour. It is not technically possible for you to BU Smile

If it helps, my second labour was several orders of magnitude easier than my first (it undoubtedly helped that it was only a third of the length...).

The main thing that helped me was deep breathing - very very slow in, and then out, rinse and repeat. And think of the lovely baby you'll have in just a few short hours from now!

Thanks and good luck to you.

Eyespy24 · 10/10/2014 18:51

When waiting for my home birth with DD who was very overdue I filled the pool & relaxed in there with a g&t! recommend it.
(Was induced at 40+17 so didn't get to use pool in labour anywaySad)

Eyespy24 · 10/10/2014 18:51

So no YANBU

Wolfiefan · 10/10/2014 18:52

Charity belle. My first was 10 hours. My second was less than an hour!
OP have you spoken to anyone about your anxiety? I was referred for CBT. I was also sent a helpful reading list.

moxon · 10/10/2014 18:56

I found home water birth great. Being in your own space makes a huge difference to how you experience your pain, IMO. You know the spot on your bed you're most comfy curling up into, which cupboard is particularly good for gripping onto, where will be the nicest spot to sit with your newborn once you're out of the pool for that first feed. You can open the fridge if you want, stroke the cat, get irritated with that painting hanging skew and thus take your mind off the labour for a few minutes. You can look at the sun and/or moon from through your own curtains, and you don't have to scream and/or groan at sterile white passage tiles. Good luck! :)

cailindana · 10/10/2014 18:59

You are about to do an amazing, scary thing that is life changing (again, you nutter!). It's not small, and it's normal to be absolutely shitting yourself about it. It will be painful, it will be hard but of all the things in the world that are worth it, this is the most worth it thing that you can possibly do.

Hang in there. The waiting is awful. The anticipation is awful. But your baby will come and he or she will be incredible.

bakingtins · 10/10/2014 19:01

Give Natal Hypnotherapy a try - I'm guessing you don't have long to go so you may not have time to listen to it often, but any positive influences may help. You can either buy a CD from their website or NCT, or download tracks from iTunes.

Original poster
ithoughtofitfirst · 10/10/2014 19:28

Thanks for the anecdotes, advice, tips people it's all really helping.

I did actually download a natal hypnotherapy mp3 today and it sounds really good. It's worth a shot!

Funny you mention cbt wolfie i use it quite a lot because my mental health has never been the best, i did some today and it did help a bit. I know the results can be amazing though if you put the hours in.

Second birth should be easier... or at least quicker! I can't even remember the pain from last time per se. It was a straightforward labour like yours charity but i just remember afterwards feeling like what.the.fuck. just happened to me. Pardon my French. But i genuinely was traumatised by it.

OP posts:
millionsofpeaches · 10/10/2014 19:54

I think you are entitled to be scared! I certainly was, but I had a home water birth second time around and it was soooo much easier than I thought it would be. Was sitting in the pool watching Bake Off for the first hour :-) I was really scared before it started but had listened to the hypnotherapy track a few times and managed to remember some of the breathing and relaxing. Couldn't stand the rest of it as the woman's voice irritated the tits off me And actually when it came down to it I was much calmer than I thought I would be. Still cried and begged the midwife to help me though so it wasn't exactly pain free, but was much quicker and more relaxed generally. Think I felt more in control of the situation being in my own home maybe.
Good luck op.

Charitybelle · 10/10/2014 20:32

Totally agree OP, I felt traumatised by my first birth which sounds dramatic, but afterwards I couldn't quite believe what had happened. It felt surreal. But I did it, and got over it, so I know I can do it again (crosses fingers)! Just not looking forward to it....at all.
Wolfie I hope it's not an hour this time round, then it would def be a home birth and I've no idea what I would do with my poor dd!

naturalbaby · 10/10/2014 20:41

Did you have a water birth last time? The feeling of stepping into the pool is amazing.
Ds2 however couldn't wait and appeared within seconds of me getting in. The pool wasn't even full!

I spent my last few days/hours of pregnancy nesting. I turned the spare room into a sort of nest with blankets, beanbag, birth ball, candles, cd player, towels etc. I also spent a lot of time sorting all the newborn baby clothes!

Charlottewasboth · 10/10/2014 20:46

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at the user's request

salonmeblowy · 10/10/2014 20:46

OP, have you heard of the tapping technique for reducing anxiety from the emotional freedom programme? Here is the website with detailed instructions: eft.mercola.com

I am very rarely anxious, but learnt the technique during prenatal yoga and a lot of women from the class found it really helpful.

Good luck, I am jealous of your planned home water birth, it is such a dream of mine (am having an induction at 38 weeks instead... oh well).

Iggly · 10/10/2014 20:50

I was more nervous second time around! I think because I felt I knew more what as at stake (I.e. the baby) whereas before it was just about the labour.

Serenitysutton · 10/10/2014 20:52

Yadnbu! You stay in that pool as long As you want. Get your family to bring you books and haribo

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