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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off with DS for school lunch choices?

35 replies

HaLOL · 09/10/2014 20:42

DS in is year 7. I logged onto the school payment system today and saw what he's been choosing for lunch. Half the time he's just had a milkshake and a cake. I feel p'd off with him. He's been bought up to know better and to understand what constitutes a balanced meal. School has several options (hot meaty meal, jacket potates, sandwich bar). He's a bit picky but no worse than most 11 year olds I would say.

Am I overreacting?

OP posts:
Tanaqui · 09/10/2014 20:44

Ime they all go a bit mad at first- tell him you will ignore till half term, then you will expect to see healthier choices. Think it is worth giving them a bit of freedom at first.

Leeds2 · 09/10/2014 20:45

He probably doesn't know that you can see his choices. Tell him that you can, and ask him to choose more wisely in future.

I wouldn't be too cross. He is probably enjoying his newfound independence.

Sunnymeg · 09/10/2014 20:46

There is a lot of pressure to eat quickly so that they can hang around with their friends. He is probably just grabbing stuff and heading out the door and then eating it outside with his mates.

Cambridgecando · 09/10/2014 20:47

Packed lunches? Grin

Hakluyt · 09/10/2014 20:48

Make sure he has a good breakfast and a good dinner and don't worry about lunch!

Taz1212 · 09/10/2014 20:49

You are not alone. DS(12) did really well last year for his lunch choices, but as soon as he started S1 this year (same school and same choices) he went completely mad- giant hotdog at break, nachos and cake for lunch and then not hungry at home for dinner. He was also spending up to £3 per day on drinks! We read him the riot act and it has ceased. Grin

HiawathaDidntBotherTooMuch · 09/10/2014 20:49

When I started year 7, I regularly used to bug a roll and pat of butter, carton of juice, crisps and a united biscuit. I saved the extra to buy a comic on the way home! It was the new found freedom, you see. Before too long, I settled down and bought a more nutritious meal.

foreverton · 09/10/2014 20:50

My ds, also in year 7 admitted he had pizza every day for a week:(

I kept tabs on his choices and then suggested a packed lunch as I know what he's eating, he cannot afford to put weight on so this was the best option.

His lunch of half an hour is the only break he gets all day, funny school hours so I would rather he didn't spend most of it queuing for junk food.

I second telling your ds that you can see what he's choosing and see if that changes his choices in the next two weeks to half term.

Original poster
HaLOL · 09/10/2014 20:56

Thanks for replies. He is quite a slow eater so that might be it.

What also worries me is if these are the choices he makes when it's up to him what he hope is there for a healthy attitude to food as a grown up. That may be a bit of a leap, but it does make me worry.

I will talk to him tomorrow. Thank you.

OP posts:
vichill · 09/10/2014 21:01

I went through a stage of spending my dinner money on a pint bottle of fresh orange and two packs of maryland cookies. On a friday I would buy a sarah lee choc gateau and eat it for breakfast with my fingers at the school gates followed by a lambert and butler. Thankfully I grew out of such habits.
I wouldn't be that pissed off. I think its part of him exerting some independence. I would say I know what you're doing you little bugger, so you have to eat x pieces of fruit before or after school to compensate. Keep it light hearted instead of making it a checking up exercise and subsequent bollocking.

Original poster
HaLOL · 09/10/2014 21:10

I used to spend my dinner money on a pack of 10 Silk Cut - but was a few years older than he is. At his age it was hot dog, chips and iced bun. But that was mid 80s. And we want better for our kids, don't we.

OP posts:
Ludways · 09/10/2014 21:11

My ds has had the same meal every day for over a year. Luckily it's not unhealthy, it's not great but not really bad either.

ErnesttheBavarian · 09/10/2014 21:23

my dh used to get jacket potato with chips.

He's pretty particular and careful now.

have a word maybe but don't stress

kikisunflower · 09/10/2014 21:23

Just feed him nutritious food at home and he'll be fine.

SunshineAndShadows · 09/10/2014 21:27

I ate a chip nutty and a toffee crisp for lunch every day for 6 years - I wasn't fussy, just lazy. Am now a veg-monster vegetarian.
Don't worry, if his other meals are ok he'll grow into making healthier choices

Original poster
HaLOL · 09/10/2014 21:28

Thanks so much everyone. You've all made me feel so much better :-)

OP posts:
Fairylea · 09/10/2014 21:30

I'm surprised you can see what he's had, we don't have anything like that.... just hand over the money and that's that! Dd is in year 7 and I have no idea what she eats. I do ask sometimes and usually it's pizza and chips or some sort of chicken wrap thing.

I just make sure I do a healthy meal for dinner and keep lots of fruit about so hopefully it balances out overall!

BellaVita · 09/10/2014 21:30

It will be fine, honest. A lot of kids choose what can be eaten the quickest so they can get on with their social lives.

You wouldn't believe how many parents ring up and ask that we police their child's choice of lunch... If you are that unhappy give them a pack up.

Jakadaal · 09/10/2014 21:34

Have just had an identical conversation with year 7 ds. Have said if no improvement I will move him to packed lunches. Hope he gets the message as his food choices are appalling

splendide · 09/10/2014 21:38

I had a packet of crisps, a chocolate bar and a can of diet coke every day for about two years. I can't believe I got through the afternoon! I eat well now.

18yearstooold · 09/10/2014 21:40

At dd's school they can spend their entire lunch break queuing for a proper meal, or they can grab junk in the quad

Guess what the year 7&8s do

They seem to grow out of it by yr 10 though

traviata · 09/10/2014 21:47

Yr 8 DD says there is next to nothing left by the time yr 7 have been through. She is vegetarian, and very often all there is for her to eat is fruit salad and crisps, so that's what she has.

the main problem is then spending ££ on sweets and crap on the way home.

Grin at chocolate gateau washed down with lambert & butler.

TheHoundOfWinchester · 09/10/2014 22:05

I had a similar conversation with my year 7 ds today after checking what he'd had for lunch - 3 flap jacks and a slushy- I've told him he has 3 strikes, either he eats properly or we'll swap to packed lunches. He knows I check already so I'm sure from now in even if it's just a sandwich he'll eat something half decent

Original poster
HaLOL · 09/10/2014 22:24

winchester I think you may live very near to me. Be weird if our kids were at the same school!

OP posts:
BettyFocker · 09/10/2014 22:53

When I was at school we just handed our change to the dinnerlady at the till! No way for parents to track the crap we ate!

I would take in a packed lunch of bottle of coke, tuna sandwich, crisps and a chocolate bar, which I would eat at breaktime. Then at lunch I would have a bowl of chips and a cookie pretty much everyday. DM would give me £3 or so everyday so when I was 15 I started saving most of it each day so I could buy vodka on a Friday/Saturday evening Blush

Your DS is probably enjoying the freedom and novelty of being able to eat junk for lunch. I would let him know that you can see what he's choosing and talk to him again about making healthy choices. If it doesn't improve then I would tell him he'll be getting packed lunches.