Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

To put my DD back in nappies?

16 replies

ComeTalkToMe · 09/10/2014 19:57

I am at my wits end and hoping someone has some advice!!

I started potty training my DD who is 2.10 about 6 months ago, quite early I know but she showed all the signs of being ready and as I was due my second child in June so was keen not to have 2 in nappies. All went fairly well, she still had a couple of accidents a week but I was persevering. But it's all gone horribly wrong!

Basically since my son was born in June, things have got progressively worse. It was a traumatic birth and I ended up in hospital for over a week and just after my DH started working away a lot. Her behaviour round this time got quite bad - tantrums, hitting me, not listening. I thought this was all a reaction to the situation so responded with lots of positive praise for good behaviour and consistent time outs with very little attention for bad behaviour. This seems to be working but she is now having up to six accidents a day, screaming when I ask if she's had an accident and I don't know what to do now. We did a reward chart for a while and it got a bit better but it's now worse than ever.

Has anyone been through this? Any advice? Do I put her back in nappies? Finding it tough to cope with this and a young baby.

OP posts:

fluffymouse · 09/10/2014 19:59

I think it sounds best for everyone to put her back in nappies. It must be exhausting to be doing so much laundry. Regressing in response to change is very common.

Pixel · 09/10/2014 20:03

If it were me I'd be inclined to put her back in nappies. She is very little yet and it can't be any harder for you than clearing up all the accidents, extra washing and general trauma. She might be jealous of the baby and want 'babying' herself for a while. Let things settle down and try again later on.
Perhaps get her checked for a urine infection though, just in case?

wafflingworrier · 09/10/2014 20:04

definitely put her back in nappies again, right now you have so much on your plate there is no point in adding to your stress.
perhaps try putting her in pull ups and emphasising that they are "big girl" pants so distinct from your second child's "baby" pants to lessen the potential blow to her?
i've been potty training for 9 months now and still having some days when there are LOTS of accidents, so take heart! not all children get it straight away.
in the meantime, congratulations on your second child and i hope your recovery continues to go well

Minikievs · 09/10/2014 20:04

My DS went backwards when I was pregnant, despite being trained for a year. Not as bad as 6 accidents a day, but wouldn't go, lots of mini accidents. It's only now (a year on) got to the stage where I don't have to practically have a full on argument about whether he needs the toilet or not. He was dry at night too, which also went backwards and we are still trying to get it sorted now.

For the sake of your sanity, maybe back in nappies for a little while, it sounds very exhausting, especially with a new baby.

RabbitSaysWoof · 09/10/2014 20:07

I agree, that's exactly what I would do too. I would use nappies again and let her take the lead for a while.

Original poster

ComeTalkToMe · 09/10/2014 20:09

Thanks for the responses. I think the situation has escalated to the point where she is liking the attention it is creating, even though I'm trying to keep it low key. I feel awful as I don't think she wants to go back in nappies but it might take the pressure off even for a few weeks. Just wish there was a magic solution here...

OP posts:

fragolino · 09/10/2014 20:10

when mine was trained she soiled herself for a week and only about 5 times if that.

I think thats because we waited until she was ready and she was three.

put her back in nappies and dont force her. i never understand the trauma of all this"

MadeinBelfast · 09/10/2014 20:11

I think going back to nappies is wise. My 3yo now has the gist of potty training but when we first tried 3 months ago he found not wearing a nappy quite stressful and got very upset/embarrassed about accidents. This led to huge tantrums. We went back to nappies for 2 months. Leaving it until he was 3 (and his new baby brother had just become part of the furniture!) seems to have worked better.

leelteloo · 09/10/2014 20:11

I really would put her back in nappies. It sounds like it's been a difficult time for all of you and I think that anything that helps you all to settle is a good thing. I had the same with my dd, she was doing so well and then Ds came along and it all went pear shaped. I was too tired to even think about it. She was back in nappies and I tried again when she was three and she was dry in a week, day and night.

Bogeyface · 09/10/2014 20:17

I wouldnt use nappies, I would use pull ups.

DD was showing all the signs of being ready and it was a nightmare (she was 3 btw), she cried and screamed when she had an accident but wouldnt go on the potty. After a week I just put her in pull ups and she was fine again. This week she asked for big girl pants, and she hasnt had a single accident (well one but that was because stupid mummy forgot about the pants and put her in dungarees ).

She has had a really hard time of it and is regressing, she needs to know that she is still your baby too. She will be fine and will get it eventually :)

Stuckonthebaby · 09/10/2014 20:21

Another one who'd put her back in nappies. We did it for three months when DS was 2.5 and while it started well he regressed and it was a nightmare. Talked to him about it, put him back in for a month, then started afresh. Worked a treat. If she's getting upset and you're getting stressed it will only make it worse. Or you may find she hates the idea of being in nappies again and that is enough to get her back on track!

meglet · 09/10/2014 20:26

Yanbu. But I'd also go for pull-ups. She can have the option of using the potty / toilet on her own that way.

FWIW mine had false potty training starts from 2.6 - 3yrs. I eventually gave up and waited for xmas when we could stay at home, DS was 3.2 and DD was 3.4. So much easier IME.

Hmmmwhatnow · 09/10/2014 20:31

DD1 was trained and out of nappies I went into labour the following day and she was back in nappies the day after. 3 months later we went back into pants and she barely had an accident since.

None of you need the stress of this put her back in pull ups, wait a month or so until things settle and then retrain with chocolate buttons

foreverton · 09/10/2014 20:42

My dd is 3.7 and has only been fully trained since last month.
She was showing signs of being ready at about 22 months but I felt it was quite young but went ahead anyway.
She then regressed after starting nursery so we waited until she was nearing 3, she was pretty much fully trained the week before she turned 3 in February then got a nasty bug and lost control for a few days but then wasn't interested in trying again.

I literally didn't put any pressure on her and waited for her to initiate it.
This time I believe that as dd was in control and completely ready that she has never looked back.

I said to myself that she will be trained before primary school so stop worrying, that's a year away and she's done (finally)

ithoughtofitfirst · 09/10/2014 20:51

I'm waiting til DS is three. My friends think i'm mad but i don't care. All their children still have accidents. Mine is not ready.

Yanbu. She was doing really well and then regressed with the new arrival which is perfectly normal and not worth the stress on either if you.

Original poster

ComeTalkToMe · 09/10/2014 20:54

Ok, seems pretty unanimous! I'll put her in pull ups tomorrow, no drama and wait until she seems ready again.

OP posts:

Flip

Swipe left for the next trending thread