to not give a birthday present when not going to the party?

[Eyespy24]

DD just started school & with it the frequent invitations to birthday parties.

Would it still be expected that she would give a (token) gift to the birthday boy/girl even if she can't go?

Not sure what is the done thing. Don't want to seem mean nor over the top. Just wondered what people thought. Thanks.

No, don't worry. I never did.

I do this; but on here it's considered OTT and wrong... Each to their own.

No I wouldn't not unless its a special friend etc.

My rule of thumb is if you'd give one to them even if they weren't having a party (so a special friend or one of your own friend's DCs) then yes. Otherwise no.

I didn't. And wouldn't do so unless it was a special friend. Don't recall DD receiving presents from people who had been invited to her parties, but didn't come, either.

only to realy good friends. by that i mean friends they play out of school with or family friends kids.

No, we don't as a rule.
The only time we did was when we RSVP'd yes, but then DD was too unwell to attend (we let the parents know as soon as we knew she wouldn't be going). Once DD was well enough to return to school she took the gift in for the birthday girl. We felt it only fair, as she would have got the gift had DD been well enough to attend.
But generally if we RSVP no then we don't buy a gift (that said it is a rare event where we turn down an invite!).

Bestest best friend yes; general class mate having mass party no. I think.

Not usually but DS is missing the party of a good friend as we are on holiday and I will take a present to school before we break up for half term

I wouldn't.

Nope! It wouldn't be expected.

I wouldn't.

Another who only would for a best friend or when you've RSVP'd yes, your child is ill on the day, and you know the parent reasonably well!