To ask how you would react to finding a hook up app on your OH's iphone?

[Ruthy67]

Just wondering how you'd all react.

You go on your OHs phone as yours is out of battery. On there is a swingers/sex hook up app. No evidence that he'd ever logged into it but he has downloaded and installed it.

He admits (after a roasting and a few lies) that he did download it but said he was drunk and never intended to use it.

How would you react, honestly?

One app and hands held up and apologised then I would forgive as long as no other doubts at all but the additional apps and the lies would mean I couldn't forgive.

So this type of stuff is going on for a few years? I think you have your answer.

Yeah given your most recent update I think you know the answer to your question...

Did you post a thread about this recently? I remember posting on an almost identical thread.

In this situation, I would be almost (as the only thing missing is solid evidence) sure that if he hasn't cheated yet, he will in the near future.

I think dowloading these apps in the first place is a warning sign, but the fact you had to grill him until he admitted he'd downloaded the hook-up app is worrying. Surely if it was innocent, he'd have admitted straight away that it had been an accident, rather than lying.

I wouldn't normally recommend leaving someone if it could be avoided (never have before on MN) but I think you need to leave this one, OP. He isn't going to change.

numanoid has summed it up for me.

Someone upthread said if we all divorced over a lie there'd be no one married - but there are lies, and there are lies. Some lies would show, for me at least, that his respect for me had gone, and so therefore the kind of relationship which i want and need had gone. Zero tolerance policy from me when it comes to being faithful. Same from DH for me. One chance. Don't mess up.

OP has done her bit, given her OH the benefit of the doubt in the past, talked, forgiven, tried again and it's gotten her no where. He's shown his colours.

OP I'm sorry - i've never said ''LTB'' on a thread and i'm not saying it now. I responded to the 'WWYD' style of your OP. What will you do now?

He cheated on you before and it doesn't sound like he is being faithful now or ever

If you want a monogamous relationship he's not the one to be in it with

He's admitted it. Says he downloaded a chat app thing and has been contacting "girls". Still maintains he never intended to do anything but chat. He's a sad bastard and I want nothing more to do with the horrible twat. Hope he ends up old and lonely with nothing but his hand for company.

Good for you OP.

You might to get yourself checked out at a clinic as he is blatantly lying about not having taken anything further than chatting.

Every time you've pushed the issue so far he has admitted to more and if he has been shagging random women you are at risk.

I'm glad you've come to a decision on what to do OP, I hope it works out for you.

Although to be honest, I think you're well rid of him. Ending up old and lonely does sound like a very real possibility for him!

Yeeeuch. What a nasty lying two-faced twunt. God knows what he's really been doing.

Don't let him damage the door by letting it hit him on the arse on the way out.