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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be disapointed my son watched Frozen in reception class yesterday?

208 replies

Jude76 · 09/10/2014 11:52

I hate to moan but we don't do Disney in our house. Not yet anyway. But yesterday my reception aged child came home singing Frozen after apparently watching it in class as a treat. I just don't feel comfortable with it. Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
ToysRLuv · 09/10/2014 13:29

Coming from outwith uk, we never ever stayed in during playtime (discounting the once in a year or the occurrence of a temperature lower than -24C). If it rained, you wore suitable attire. I don't get what the difference here is? Surely it rains often enough in the uk for people to have to own rain gear and be used to going outside in the rain?

Original poster
Jude76 · 09/10/2014 13:35

I suppose another one of the reasons I'm pissed off is that I had been taking him out at lunchtime, as I felt a full day was too much too soon. (He's an August child). Anyway, we were going out and about to the park and the woods and stuff in the afternoons but yesterday we tried a full day for the first time - as I assumed he'd be missing out on stuff. Turns out all he'd have missed out on yesterday was Frozen!
I get that they need down time and that it's tough for teachers. I am on their side. They have been great. I just don't think Frozen is a good use of anyone's time. And I don't think I should have to worry about him being freaked out films like that in the classroom. What's the point? There's no benefit to watching them but lots of negatives if you are that way inclined - which many are.

OP posts:
nicename · 09/10/2014 13:40

Toys - its probably 'elf and safety....

RiverTam · 09/10/2014 13:41

there are plenty of benefits to collective experiences, like watching films together.

The fact that it coincided with your DS's first full day is no-one's fault, and for all you know could have made his day easier as he had some enforced downtime in the afternoon. 99% of the time he won't be watching Frozen. And as others have said, you don't know how much of it he watched.

Toys - it's a good point but even in our sponge of an island we are still crap with outdoor kit (I don't think I've managed to buy DD a pair of wellies that haven't leaked in ages). Though personally I have no intention of taking DD to the park if it's chucking it down!

Wonc · 09/10/2014 13:41

Yanbu.

Bragadocia · 09/10/2014 13:42

Well, I pretty much agree with you. I had no idea that kids watched full-length films in school, other than in the run up to the holidays.
DS is also only part time until January, when he's 5. I think woodland walks and even 121 parent-child lolling about is a better use of his time for now. I rely on screen time as a distraction when making dinner! so I'd be put out if my child had already had a film at school.

ImNoClownIWontBackDown · 09/10/2014 13:43

Ds's reception class watched frozen last year but as it's PG we had to give our consent, and if any parents were unhappy then no one got to watch it! So obv we didn't really feel we could refuse even if we'd wanted to! Tbh I trust his teacher completely not to show anything unsuitable and she did say they would discuss the violent scenes to make sure none of the children were upset by it etc etc. We don't watch many films as a family and tbh I am quite grateful that my kids get to watch a few at school and then talk about them in class. If my son had watched something that had given him nightmares I would be upset, but as it sounds like he enjoyed it I think YABU. Am a but surprised you weren't told though.

MomOfTwoGirls2 · 09/10/2014 13:45

Well, if he came home singing the songs, he most likely enjoyed it.
Watching a movie is done in our school as a treat during special occasions.

It is VERY unlikely to be the last movie he watches in school.

But it might be worth having a word with the teacher so she knows he finds certain types of movie upsetting.

curiousgeorgie · 09/10/2014 13:52

I don't understand people who 'don't do Disney'

Can you explain why? As someone said up thread it's magical for children, it's a bit like taking christmas away Shock

trulybadlydeeply · 09/10/2014 13:53

Well he obviously enjoyed himself, and was fine being there for the full day! Reception really is all about fun, learning to all be together, and getting used to the school environment. Just wait until the pressure starts in year 1 (and IME it really does) and you may well be glad that they had the opportunity just to all have fun together in reception.

I could understand if you had said that he had had nightmares overnight due to watching it, or if he had told you that he didn't enjoy it. However if he's come out singing the songs he's obviously just a 4 year old boy who's had FUN! (and it sounds like it was a special occasion so not something they do regularly).

klmnop · 09/10/2014 13:55

Have you actually seen Frozen? I'm not sure you can pass judgement on something you haven't seen. For me it has a lot of very positive moral messages as well as being entertaining! Yes there are some scary bits but I think like it sounds like your son is very sensitive and you can't work a choice of film for a whole class around 1 child. Perhaps having watched it with his classmates will help him on this front, it sounds like he enjoyed it anyway! As to whether children should be watching films at school, it's reception and I agree with what others have posted about building a positive relationship with school and also the need for treats and downtime. I use films at home for quiet time, in fact I'll offer a choice, film, reading a story together or doing a jigsaw or colouring and my daughter doesn't always opt for a film. As for the negatives, when she was very small I worried about language development but her language was always very advanced, I also worried about her imagination, but I needn't have worried she has never had a problem on that score. I would also imagine that in a class context that sharing a film together gives them a common bond and helps the childen connect and build relationships together, which taking him out of class may not be helping. YABU

BrandyAlexander · 09/10/2014 13:56

Blimey. Our dcs aren't allowed screen time during the week so dd was very happy when she started reception last year and they watched Frozen at school and other CBeebies programmes on rainy days.Grin I guess I could have gone to the school and complained that this isn't what we pay £12k per year for, but it never occurred to me to do that on the basis that her excellent teacher knew what she was doing and I wouldn't want to be that parent. Seriously, let it go.Grin

RiverTam · 09/10/2014 13:59

why don't you allow TV in the week, novice? Genuinely interested.

farewellfigure · 09/10/2014 14:00

curiousgeorgie we didn't 'do' Disney when DS was a baby simply because there was no need, and I was getting all uptight about the amount of money they make off people. I think it was seeing DS's little cousin all done up in his Winnie the Pooh shirts and trousers and Micky Mouse jumpers and all the Disney toys he was bought. Why spend a fortune on a Disney xylophone (for example) when you can buy a similar unbranded one for much less?

Then it was all his little friends who were going to Disneyland age 3. I just couldn't see the point. Now he's probably watched most of the Disney films and that's fine. I guess I got a bit twitchy about the sheer money-making power they have. Thankfully DS hasn't showed any interest in Disneyland or any of the toys.

I have to admit though I'm a bit of a sucker for the old films. We watched Snow White the other day. I'd forgotten how unbelievably terrifying some bits are, but DS coped fine.

QuintessentiallyQS · 09/10/2014 14:00

I bet you would complain if your child came home soaking wet, and with wet shoes, with a sniffle, from playing outdoors in the pouring rain too.

Some parents always moan and complain. Nothing is good enough for their precious. I reckon you are one of those.

Momagain1 · 09/10/2014 14:07

So, will you be asking why were they watching, and for how long, and perhaps offering alternative DVD options?

TortoiseUpATreeAgain · 09/10/2014 14:10

Your position as laid out in your OP is unreasonable, yes. If you want blanket choices like "not doing Disney" to be respected then you're going to have to home-educate.

HOWEVER...

I don't think a school should show a PG film to a Reception class without parental agreement. There are plenty of U films out there. My DCs wouldn't have been bothered in the slightest but I know that there are some out there who would; the guidelines on the PG classification are "A PG film should not worry a child aged eight or older" but some children in Reception are only just four.

I don't think a school should be showing an entire feature-length DVD to children at this point in the term; on the last couple of days of term I can sort of appreciate it but this is silly.

So I think overall you are NBU to be disappointed and a bit miffed, just not for the lifestyle reasons you first gave. And if he came out singing then it doesn't sound as though he was troubled by it.

Kaekae · 09/10/2014 14:11

My son watched a lot of DVDs in reception, used to drive me crazy. During one term he'd watched 14 DVDs and I raised it with his teacher who tried to tell me they were educational....the class had watched a lot of Disney DVDs most of them we have at home so I knew she was having me on a bit with the whole educational crap. I agree it is somewhat lazy. However, Frozen is a sweet film, my children and I love it but I would be miffed if they were watching it at school unless it was for a production they were doing. I wouldn't really want them watching it at wet play either, it is hard enough to try and prise my children away from the TV at home. Shock

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 09/10/2014 14:15

Reception class in the UK.

Parents are unhappy if children come home with wet feet. Parents don't all provide wellies/usually the same parents.

A woodland walk with mummy is slightly different to a woodland walk with school so you need lots of volunteers and time consuming risk assessments.

If a child slips on a wet playground UK parents sue. All the time

If it's wet play staff put on a DVD. Most parents prefer disney to reservoir dogs.

we don't do disney is like we don't do sweets.

Good luck with that one.

Clarinet9 · 09/10/2014 14:16

I showed my neighbours son the Gruffalo once (he was 4) and within the first minute he was calling out that he wanted it stopped because it was scary!

ILovePud · 09/10/2014 14:20

I'm surprised school have been willing for you to take him out at half day. I know you can defer four year olds starting school but most schools take the view that if they are in school they are in full time.

Clarinet9 · 09/10/2014 14:20

Cinderella is just beautiful can you imagine how it appeared to the children who saw it then.
Wasn't Cinderella and Snow white out quite close to the end of the war?

Clarinet9 · 09/10/2014 14:21

OK checked the dates Cinders was 1950 and Snow White 1937!

JustAShopGirl · 09/10/2014 14:24

Disney give 6-10% of their profits to charitable causes, and hundreds of thousands of hours of their outreach workers every year.

They are currently supporting the Great Ormond Street Hospital GOSH expansion project in this country.

There are many worse companies than Disney.

Sunna · 09/10/2014 14:27

They gave Winnie the Pooh and American accent. For this sin they should be shunned by all right minded people.

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