Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wish someone hadn't given me this present

42 replies

Kato77 · 08/10/2014 23:35

For a recent anniversary some old friends, who live in a European country, gave me and DH a voucher for a night away in a hotel in the country that they live in.

We were very touched but AIBU to wish maybe they had given us something else?

To make use of the gift we'll have to get to the country, find (pay probably as have no capable relatives) someone to look after DCs or pay for them to stay in the same place as us. Plus we'd have to pay for travel to country - its all looking rather expensive.

If we give it away/ sell it I'm dreading having to confess to old friends that this is what we did. Or maybe they are expecting us to visit them and tag it on the end.

The more I think about this the more of a burden it is becoming. If we don't use it old friends are bound to ask at some point how it was.

OP posts:
Original poster
Kato77 · 10/10/2014 19:31

She just has to rely on the EU to subsidise her farmer owner I suppose.

OP posts:
anotherdayanothersquabble · 10/10/2014 19:39

If you didn't use it, you could post on Living Overseas to see if a MNer wanted to use it and swap for something in the UK.

Trills · 10/10/2014 19:43

I really feel there should be a word - possibly in German - for an act that is done out of kind intent but actually causes you so much stress that you wish the person doing the "kind thing" had not bothered at all.

quietbatperson · 10/10/2014 20:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Justwhateverreally · 10/10/2014 20:04

Just re gift it back to them when you have a chance.

sonjadog · 10/10/2014 20:05

I would just put it in a drawer and forget about it. It's a useless present. What is the point of giving someone one night in a hotel in a different country?! If they ask, say something vague about how you haven't gotten round to it yet...

QueenBean · 10/10/2014 20:07

What is the country OP?!

You should definitely just sell it then if they ask you about it, just say it was a lovely thought but too expensive for flights / problems getting childcare so you exchanged it for something else.

I doubt they'd be offended if you explained. Now what to do with that money - get a kitchenaid maybe?!

carlywurly · 10/10/2014 20:09

Trills - yes! Dp is fluent in German. I will ask him. They came up with schadenfreude, there's bound to be something Grin

Floralnomad · 10/10/2014 20:16

Adopt the cow and ask the people who gave you the ridiculous present to go and take the photos and send you the dairy products .

YouWithTheFace · 10/10/2014 20:29

Japanese. according to a wonderful previous thread, arigata-meiwaku :

Described as "an act someone does for you that you didn't want them to do and tried to avoid having them do, but they went ahead anyway, determined to do you a favour; then things went horribly wrong exactly as you expected and caused you a lot of trouble, however social conventions require you to express gratitude."

JennyBlueWren · 10/10/2014 21:05

Trills there is a word (or 2): White Elephant!

The Kings of Siam would give an elephant as a gift to someone who'd annoyed them -they couldn't get rid of the animal as that would be a slight to the king but the cost of looking after it would ruin them!

Trills · 10/10/2014 21:15

Wonderful!

cingolimama · 11/10/2014 14:17

Agree with everyone that it's a ridiculous present! I would give the voucher to those friends of yours with connections to that mystery country. Please don't ask them to buy it from you - that's really tacky. It's unclear whether even they could use it, but if they do use it and have a lovely night, then that's a nice thing to come out of it.

daisychain01 · 11/10/2014 15:26

I'd just stick it in a drawer and forget about it. Sounds too much hassle.

If your friends ask if you have used it yet, just say "not yet, we'll let you know as and when we do". They'll probably give up asking.

You sound like you have enough other stuff to be getting on with in life.

It was "nice thought" but not worth the stress and you shouldnt have to worry about "pleasing them" just becaus that's the gift they chose.

Optimist1 · 11/10/2014 16:00

Does the voucher have a limited validity? If, say it was valid for 1 year I'd wait six months and then contact them saying that you're aware that there's only a few months' validity left and with the best will in the world you don't think you're going to be able to make use of it.

Reminds me of DSis who gave my mother a voucher for a one night stay in a place over 350 miles away. Guess who had to drive her there, with 2-night stays at interesting places there and back?? Thanks, Sis.

MrsHathaway · 11/10/2014 16:02

FIL have a tendency to buy gifts that cost the recipient money. It's wearing.

Assuming you didn't have the party in order to get the gifts Wink I think you should either give it away or spend it on something you don't have to travel for, such as the cow.

Aeroflotgirl · 11/10/2014 16:02

No need to say anything to them, put it away and forget. If they ask you about it, just say that you cannot afford to use it right now.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page