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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be uncomfortable with this?

52 replies

winkywinkola · 08/10/2014 22:02

So, we registered with our local college to take two home stay students.

The college told us we should charge £150 per week for a bedroom, two meals a day (I will give all three at the weekends anyway), all washing done and cleaning of room.

They've come back with one who sounds absolutely lovely.

But she says she can't afford £150 per week. She asked if she could do our cleaning and ironing for us and reduce it to £100 per week. Thing is, I have loads of ironing that takes about 4 hours minimum per week. Cleaning my house with 4 dcs would take a good 2-3 hours per week.

She would go to college to study English 2 evenings per week.

I feel like it's too vague. I feel like she'd be working her ass off and STILL have to pay to live here. I would feel like I had a resident slave!

Please could you tell me what would be reasonable?

OP posts:
Original poster
winkywinkola · 08/10/2014 22:03

In addition, I was kind of hoping for £150 per week as we are broke.

I wasn't thinking of any extra issues to consider like a student who is prepared to add to the household chores.

OP posts:
PourquoiTuGachesTaVie · 08/10/2014 22:05

Just ask her to do however much cleaning or ironing you consider to be fair, she doesn't have to do all of it does she?

fragolino · 08/10/2014 22:06

it sounds like a can of worms to me, what if she doesnt work like you want her too, leaves half the ironing then you will feel upset she is not pulling weight and there for cheaper.

I would pass on her and get someone else.

if you were not broke, i would say do it, but as you need the money - get someone who can simply pay.

some people take in students for pin money.

tippytappywriter · 08/10/2014 22:06

Why not say you'll pay her for 5 hours cleaning/ironing at £10 an hour. So not all cleaning and ironing. This is the going rate where I am.

fragolino · 08/10/2014 22:07

she also may start to feel resentful

yellowdinosauragain · 08/10/2014 22:07

If you're not happy with what she's proposing it's perfectly reasonable to say no. If you want £150 per week and not to have to worry about chasing her to do chores just say no.

tippytappywriter · 08/10/2014 22:08

But just seen you'd rather have the money so hold out for someone who will pay the full amount.

purpleroses · 08/10/2014 22:08

I don't think 6-7 hours work a week is exploitative for £50 off her rent. You'd probably need to work out clearly what she needs to do, when and for how long though.

But if you really need the money then ask the college to find you a different one, or sound them out about whether they have one before you turn her down.

PumpkinsMummy · 08/10/2014 22:08

I would just say sorry but no, that is the price, if she can't afford she will have to find somewhere cheaper im a bitch tho

LeftRightCentre · 08/10/2014 22:09

I would pass and hold out for someone whom could pay £150.

Vitalstatistix · 08/10/2014 22:10

£50 divided by 7 is an hourly rate of £7.14 ish. I wouldn't say it was slavery Grin (I know you don't mean actual slavery, I know what you mean)

But it's not really that, is it? You say yourself you really need the cash. Would it really benefit you so much to have someone do a bit of cleaning and ironing that it would be worth £50 a week to you?

And, what if she doesn't do it? Or starts saying that she can't afford £100 so can she do babysitting or whatever? Or starts saying she'll do it later do it later do it later and you end up £50 down and no chores done?

OTOH, if she's really nice and you think it could work out, it's not a bad deal, I suppose.

God, I am NO help, am I? Grin

If you went for it, it would have to be because it's really worth it to you and you would have to have a formal agreement in place, setting out what would happen if she didn't stick to the agreement.

And I am assuming there's nothing prohibiting such kind of arrangements from the college's pov?

AnnieLobeseder · 08/10/2014 22:16

If you are more in need of the money that the help around the house, you are quite within your rights to say no and wait for someone else, even if this girl is lovely. You owe her nothing and first and foremost you need to consider your and your family's needs. Another family may be very happy and grateful for the domestic help instead.

dreamingbohemian · 08/10/2014 22:18

Is she EU or on a visa? She may not be allowed to work in the UK, and giving a discount in exchange for housework might be considered work.

Otherwise I suppose it depends on whether you are likely to get another student or not, 100/week is better than nothing.

Bin50 · 08/10/2014 22:24

I've pm'd you OP

maddening · 08/10/2014 22:26

If the op wanted to hire a cleaner she would have - she wants to earn money.

chrome100 · 08/10/2014 22:26

150 quid a week?! That's a lot of money. My rent is £250 a month and that's for a two bed flat. It does sound like a lot to be charging for a room.

yellowdinosauragain · 08/10/2014 22:28

It's not just a room though chrome. It's room, all bills, all food apart from weekday lunches, cleaning and washing.

MyOneandYoni · 08/10/2014 22:34

We have homestay students for a similar set up for £115 per week.

MyOneandYoni · 08/10/2014 22:36

Can't understand why she would only have two evenings of college a week. I'd accept the full rent and encourage her to get a part time job. THEN, if things are working out, I might consider the rent reduction later...

Original poster
winkywinkola · 08/10/2014 22:38

Her course requirement is only two evenings a week, she says.

She told me she will look for work - bar work, restaurant, babysitting. Her English is pretty good but I wonder how much work she will get.

I think I should just go for the straight rent and no other issues.. .. .

OP posts:
MyOneandYoni · 08/10/2014 22:39

Yup. I agree.

concernedaboutheboy · 08/10/2014 22:45

Is this a proper FE college or a language college? It has the whiff of a scam about it somehow. Two evenings per week doesn't sound much...

Original poster
winkywinkola · 08/10/2014 23:47

It is most definitely a proper FEcollefe

OP posts:
GarlicOctopus · 09/10/2014 00:02

You might even find that some of your friends would jump at the chance of a 'free' part-time au pair. Someone taking care of the household grind & a bit of babysitting is well worth food & fuel costs: she could end up doing a straight work-for-her-board deal, which could be better for her.

I think any part money, part work deal will be uncomfortable. While £150 is quite a lot for boarding, it's not hotel rates; I imagine you'll expect your guests to tidy up after themselves and so forth. If one of them's being paid for household duties as well, which bits of her help are done out of courtesy and which for money? Stick to a straight-paying guest. If you can also help this girl out with a better arrangement elsewhere, that's your good turn done :)

Original poster
winkywinkola · 09/10/2014 08:37

Is £150 a lot then for bed, bills, all meals bar week day lunches?

That's just the figure the college gave me.

OP posts:
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