What do I do in this situation? I am lost

[Fryingpan2fire]

Hi there.

I am 3 months into a new job which I like. However I am also several months into counselling dealing with sexual abuse in my childhood, and it is at a very difficult point. I can't concentrate on my job, I feel like a rubbish employee, and my line manager is starting to notice. My head just feels so full all of the time, like I am constantly working to calm myself down and convince myself I will be ok and can get out the other side. With the result I am distracted and cannot focus. It's starting to make me dread my work.

I have no idea what to do. Should I try to tell someone at work? We don't have a HR dept. My line manager is a very kind woman though, and from a previous conversation I know she used to volunteer in some capacity at a rape crisis centre. I feel it is unprofessional to disclose something so personal, but it is the truth. The way it is affecting me means I'm not being properly professional anyway

What would you do?

Go to your gp explain how you are just now and get signed off - tame proper rest and come back more together. I have done this - worked out ok

I agree with Firsttimer7259. Get a doctors note and don't tell your work any personal details. There really is no reason for them to know your private business, keep it professional.

I'm sorry you are feeling so awful and so very sorry for what happened to you :(

Given your line manager is kind & knowing her background, I would talk to her.

You say your counselling is 'at a very difficult point' do you have any idea how long you might be needing to be off work? I 'get' that you can't 'know' but if it's a small company there might be a limit to how long they can do without you. You might want to consider resigning and getting a good reference from them.

I wouldn't see it as 'letting the abuse/abuser win' - just as giving yourself the time & space to deal with it properly, to give yourself the best possible chance of coming out of the counselling stronger
x