To think about straightening dd's hair age 7 ?

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Please be gentle with me, I'm putting my thread in this section because I don't know where to put it and I really need help !

My dd has problem hair. She has it shoulder level. It is really wavy underneath and straight ish on the top and we are trying to grow her fringe. She is feeling really self conscious about it and other children have been remarking on it. After a night sleep, it is full of knots so I brush it in the morning, put it in a pony tail and it really doesn't look pretty, it's half wavy, half straight. I have suggested to plait it but she refused.

What do you suggest me doing ? I'm great and original at hair style ! Should I straighten it ? Should I made her have a bob so maybe it will be easier to manage ? Help please !

I'm going to take all your advices on board ! Thank you ! We (Dh and I) are also going to carry on with our work on her self esteem. I had a very shit time as a young child/teen because other children thought I was goofy and my parents just told me to get on with it really. I'm different and very much on the case.

I always tell her she is not only very pretty, but funny, clever, creative, caring, nice to give cuddles too etc...I tell her I love her all the time I'm trying the opposite from my childhood ! All the stuff I didn't hear while growing up, I make sure my daughters are well supported and that we always communicate !

Sounds like mine when I was young. My mum cut it into a bob when I was 10 as she didn't know what to do with it. I have never forgiven her, it looked horrid.

Try to bring the curl out, get layers cut in, put a little bit of frizz ease on it and dry with a hair dryer and a diffusers.

Hi,

My DD (3.6) has hair that can be difficult to manage, very very thick, a bit wavy a bit straight, and we did all the suggested things with brushing wet, conditioner etc. but it was still a battle, until we had it cut into a beautiful chin length bob, and never looked back. It looks so sweet and stylish and everybody comments 'Wow what fabulous hair', whereas before it was always just tied back tightly in bunches or a ponytail.

D

I have hair that I think is similar to your DD. I would suggest takin her to a decent hair dressers and asking their advice. The worst thing you can do to curls or frizz is to brush it.
Get a magazine or spend some time researching on the internet and see if you can find some nice styles that involve having her hair up. Or maybe get some cute accessories for her. I used to hate having my hair up when I was that age as the popular girls always had beautiful straight hair. My dad is awesome at hair and he got a book with tons of different hair styles and would spend hours getting them perfect so I had a hair do that I liked!!

Perhaps be specific in your praise. And get her doing stuff outside school she is good at!

I think also you need to speak to the school about the teasing your poor dd

The school is aware..they must think I'm a pain in their neck to be honest, I'm that mum who always ask to talk to the teacher or the one who calls at school to check on dd!

I got one of mine a bob don't do that it just grows out there is a school photo with The Bob as we called it poor kid looked like a lion dd now laughs and says why mum why did you not like me or something.

My sister has hair like your DD. Hairdressers said to straighten it, on the lowest heat possible to straighten it. Use a heat protector, but only wash every 3 days. Sister loved it, she's 16 now hasn't wrecked her hair, her hair can be blow dried straight now and knows how to look after it. She's very knowledgeable on looking after it, much more then her friends

Doesn't matter if the school think you are a pain

Please talk to someone who can give advice for curly hair and DO NOT BRUSH IT WHEN DRY. Not only does it make it frizzy and fluffly, it breaks the hair. I have curly hair but my parents knew nothing about it so I roamed around looking like a bird's nest until I was 15 and could have decent straighteners. Don't cut a fringe in either, it doesn't work unless you're prepared to battle it with a round brush and straighteners every morning

I now love my curly hair, after years and years of feeling like a freak. I used to straighten the hell out of it but now I know how to care for my hair and what products to use to make the most out of my curls. I get so many comments from people too! I can either blow it out with a round brush or stick some mousse in it and wear it curly, I love having the option.

I have similar hair and now at 43 I have actually found out how to deal with it. The first thing is to wash with no sulphate shampoo. Normal shampoo makes the hair more frizzy as it takes away most of the natural oil of the hair. You can find no sulphate shampoo in most pharmacies/supermarkets, boots has a really good one called Naked. Comb with large comb when the conditioner is in. The, you have to try and avoid using a normal terry towel, as the little hoops in the towel ruffle the hair and makes it more frizzy - so a muslin cloth, or an old cotton t shirt is good. Then a bit of curling cream (the pink one from boots is my favourite and cheap as chips). Then let it just dry naturally. But you don't want to that every single day, so you can braid the hair in two or four braids before she goes to bed, and when you undo the braids in the morning her hair will be wavy all over. No brushing! You can also find some pretty cool up dos, like loose ballet buns, to put her hair up on a bad hair day. Hope it helps.

That's so sad to hear. The girls in my DD class have all sorts of strange hair frizzy curly thin etc. In this case it seems the unkind girls are more the problem than your daughters hair. I personally would plait the hair and then resort to straighteners. Sometimes the best way to deal with this is to just have play dates and invite one girl a week over for tea who is not in this mean circle.

FWIW, OP, your daughter's hair sounds like mine - weirdly straight around the top and down the side of my face, then super thick/wavy everywhere else!

I spent years straightening it but it didn't work:

1. as soon as I got a bit hot or sweaty, or rained out, it puffed back up
2. as soon as I hit my teens, it got greasy - same result
3. it damaged my hair and made it look straggly/frizzy, not straight

I'd echo other PPs and say get some advice from a hairdresser and try going wavy/curly rather than straight. It's so much easier/more effective to embrace that natural kink, usually, and I've found this product is brilliant for scrunch-drying; you can get it quite cheap on Amazon.

www.beautybay.com/haircare/matrix/looselydefinedtexturecreme?

Alternatively, Umberto Giannini scrunch jelly is quite good, and lovely for a 7yo girl - cheap, fab smell and pretty packaging.

www.boots.com/en/Umberto-Giannini-Curl-Friends-Create-A-Curl-Scrunching-Jelly_1527008/

Good luck!

Oh, and make sure you get it cut properly/regularly - as soon as my hair starts to grow, it gets too heavy to support a proper curl, and it grows outwards, not downwards!

I find asking the hairdresser for a shoulder-length cut with some of the weight taken out is the best thing: makes it quicker to dry and enables that curl to stay in.

Your daughter's very lucky she has parents who care and are happy to work on her self-esteem - I get the impression she'll be absolutely fine x

mine and my daughter's are all like your DD's hair. DO NOT cut into a bob - mum did with mine - I ended up looking like Hair bear - not a great look for a 7 year old girl.

She doesn't have problem hair. She has hair. And she's seven. This is so depressing.
Just brush it and do anything with it that keeps it out of her face. IT's just hair, you need to encourage her to understand that self-esteem is not related to your hair.

There is a way to straighten hair with no heat using bobby pins overnight.

Google it, youtube has videos showing you how.

Could you plait the straight bit and leave the wavy bit loose or in a pony tail.

The hair isn't really and issue is it? She'a being bullied and has no self confidence poor flower :(

What about a club/class that takes her into a different group of kids than school does? Something she can be better than them at?

Rainbows/brownies
Music/choir etc
Sunday morning rugby kids? anything!

This sounds very similar to my dd1's hair- which is also very thick so quite hard to do anything with. Seconding the Naked conditioner (recommended to us by her stepmum who has very curly hair). Dd1 now manages it mainly herself, though she sometimes asks me to plait it or put it in a half ponytail (not sure of technical name, where you put the top bit in a ponytail and have the underneath bit loose, it looks lovely on her but is very simple). Not washing too often helps. Spray conditioners helped a bit when she was younger. She has now grown it quite long which kind of weights it down a bit, when she was 7 iirc she had it about shoulder length, but rarely in ponytails, she liked using those alice band type headbands and sometimes hairgrips (though those were also a problem as they got lost- the best were the large butterfly type clips for actually staying in).

Like other posters, I am a bit concerned that 7yos are commenting on each other's hair in a negative way! That could be raised with her class teacher and they could cover something about being tactful about appearance and not saying anything if you can't think of something nice to say.

On a Friday night, pop coconut oil all over it and let her sleep with it on. Wash it a few times with shampoo the next day and her hair texture should improve

My dd has wavy hair with some ringlets and frizz. It's quite long and to help the knots she wears it plaited at night and for school has a whole load of different plaited styles (we spent time looking at and practising plaits from youtube). I think as a starting point while you work out what works for her hair, plaits are an easy to keep it out of her face and tidy. My dd looks like she's crawled through a hedge if she has ponytails as they just slide out and the frizzy curls escape.

And for my DDs growing-out fringe we part it in the middle and then do two small plaits out of it...I bobble those and then the whole lot goes in a high ponytail. It stays out of her face better than with clips.