We live in a flat. Our neighbour is a single man who I would guess is in his late 60s. He's a lovely man. We've been to dinner a couple of items with him over the years (we've lived here for three) along with another neighbour and we are friendly enough.
He has Parkinson's and we have supported him when we can. We have been up to help him get in to bed, my DH has helped him with his personal hygiene needs, we've been up to make him cups of tea, we've helped him with taking his medication when he's been having a bad moment and my husband has liaised with the hospital on his behalf when the neighbour has been in there and convinced they wanted him dead (long story and my husband called the hospital and sorted the issue)! My DH gets the impression that most of the time he is just lonely and wants company which we feel really bad about. He doesn't have any family near by but has a niece and her family about 150 miles away. She visits a couple of times a year.
The problem is we both lead busy lives and we can't drop everything to go round there all the time. He usually calls my DH rather than me (I think he prefers his company and also if he needs help with hygiene type things he would rather ask my husband) but he commutes for a total of between 3 and 4 hours each day so is often exhausted and doesn't have time to just pop up there. It's got to the point where I'm ashamed to admit it but we dread being at home because if he calls we don't know what to do. We've both have had a very stressful year with some on going issues with both sides of our a family and don't really feel we can take responsibility for this man as well. In addition we both work full time.
Any tips on what to do?
He does now have a proper carer who comes in twice (I think) a day. Traditionally he relied on help from the community. He was born in India (although has lived here since the 60s) and seems to like asking people from the local Indian restaurant to to help him rather than get proper carers in. He also has some friends who pop round from the Gurdwara to help and other friends/neighbours who help with various things. I think the main problem is he wants to maintain his independence which is totally understandable but he really does need more permanent support and we just can't really act as his carers.