To find bedtimes really tough?

[superstarheartbreaker]

I do love many things about bedtimes: the bath, the reading, the cuddles, the relative peace that follows. Dd is 6 and since the summer holidays her bed times have gone to pot.
It's just dd and I and we went on holiday for two weeks in the summer. We shared a room and a bed and she came to bed when I did after watching hotel entertainment.
Since our return she has gone to bed a bit later on some days ( as she is a huge X factor/ bake off fan) but even when she goes to bed at the normal time she lies in bed calling " mummy, mummy, I love you, I'm scared mummy."
She hates it when I go in the kitchen as it further away from her room and she gets scared. She eventually flakes out at 10pm from exhaustion. How can I restore sanity. I got mad and shouted at her this evening which I feel bad about. I know I've made a rod somewhere along the line.

Well it sounds like she just depends on you for her security - not a bad thing, but it's just a case of easing her out of it.

My son is younger, 4, and very similar. Tells me he's scared of the stars on his sheets or scared of his pillow and calls 'Mummy I neeeeeed you!' All to make me feel guilty and stay with him, but it drove me crazy! Especially when I had things to do.

But I think we've cracked it. Now I read a story for a while, then say he needs to to close his eyes while I nip to the loo - if he keeps them closed the whole time then I'll be really proud of him. Then I come back in after about 2mins. Stroke his hair and just talk softly about what we did during the day and then I say I just need to do the dishwasher quickly, so close his eyes again while I do that which takes a bit longer, at first I came back three maybe four agreed times, but now, that's it - he falls asleep. I think it's the reassurance that you're there and you will come back.

Maybe try something similar. Breaking it into intervals so she gets used to being left alone again?

We have occasional periods of co sleeping, during hospital stays etc and I usually wean dd back off them by agreeing to some snuggle time.

So story is had in bed. Timer set, lights off and I lay my head on the pillow next to her abs cuddle, hold hands whatever until the timer goes off then if she moves when I stand up I just whisper that our big snuggle is done give her a kiss and go.

8/10 she's asleep 1/10 she objects and I promise to check in on her in 5 mins and then she's asleep :)

I would make sure she has time in her room alone during the day. So she feels comfortable being in there.

My dd (7) sometimes says she doesn't want to go downstairs on her own in the mornings. I say things like "you don't need to be scared in your own house".

I'd spend an evening or two just sitting quietly in her room after lights out till she drops off. I read my kindle or MN on phone. Rarely have to do it for long and it is close and cosy but not too full-on. Just reassures dd or DS and that's enough. Not IME habit-forming. Just breaks a pattern.

(Similar age to your dd which is why I suggest)