DD is 8. Her father was abusive to me and I fear is becoming increasingly emotionally abusive to her. He says things like he, his GF and their son never do anything when she isn't there because families do things all together and that I'm not treating her like a proper member of my family because I still do things with my other DC when she isn't here. He sees DD 4 nights per month and has holidays without her (doesn't ask for her) so of course not doing anything without her is a lie.
He tells DD that he doesn't know when school events and holidays arewhich is why he can't attend/have her more. He tells her she's missing things (I.e. Relatives visiting, fair being in town etc) because she's here and uses this an excuse for not doing much with her.
Tonight she asked why all the other parents know when school events and holidays are but he doesn't and why fun things only happen at his when she isn't there. I think she knows the truth but is looking to me to confirm it but if I say it - I.e. That anyone with the internet can discover the dates, and that he knows the dates he's having contact a year in advance so could schedule fun things if he wanted to - am I badmouthing him? I keep skirting round it but if she asks me outright, AIBU if I confirm he's a liar?