Just a shitty (literally day) and feeling sorry for myself.
Dh away this weekend for his yearly boys weekend. I try to make it a special weekend for us too - and Friday, Saturday we had DD (9yo), DD (6yo) and I had a brilliant time.
Today has just been crap though - a serious of shitty things and I feel the need to winge. So am going to vent and winge on here. So here goes:
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I had to take DS (6yo) to his rugby tournament thingy - 2 hours of hanging around. Was quite nice - some lovely other parents to talk to, watching little boys and girls run around. But OMG DD kept either cuddling me and being all clingy or complaining she was bored. She was warned to bring something to do/read. She had the picnic rug, a snack and drink. I lost it (quietly and subtly, not in front of everyone else) and pointed out that for 5 years DS (and I) had sat in the foyer of the village hall whilst she did her ballet lessons. Every week. For four years. And that this was actually pretty much the first time she had ever had to hang around whilst DS did something and that she should shut up. I think I may have been a bit OTT.
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We have decided to get DD an aquarium. And that this weekend we would do some research into it. She did her homework and we chatted with a chap at PetsRUs - or whatever it is called. DD has been great and understands it is not all going to happen immediately. I am cool with her having them but am being a bit shallow in that I do not want some monstrosity looming in my relatively recently renovated house. So this has meant quite a bit of research for me to find a tank/stand that is a) big enough not to be cruel to the fish b) not F-ugly and c) narrow enough to fit into the space I am willing to relinquish to it. I found one. But am going to have to travel about 45 miles to get it. Which I will do. But is is all taking time and I am feeling quite time-poor at the moment and will be for the next few weeks.
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I really wanted to sit and chill for a bit, but we are about to embark on some building work and have a new shed being delivered tomorrow. There is a concrete base in the garden which had loads of old wood and rubbish piled up on it. I spent a couple of hours with the wheelbarrow, a shovel and brush and did it. But it has made me tired. And a bit achy. [grumpy emoticon] Though I did do it.
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And then, stupidly the worse bit! I decided that as I was a bit mucky and in need of a shower anyway I would have a quick look under the manhole cover to see if I could see why the shower was draining a bit slowly. Oh I wish I had not. Blocked. It is a recurrent problem - usually fixed with a bit of drain rodding (grim but OK if you can jump straight in the shower afterwards). I spent ages on it. Am not thinking about the various bits of splashback as I rammed the drain roddy thing in and out. . 45 minutes of dealing with shitty water and nothing was moving any faster than before.
(Have left a message with Dynarod - first time in 3 years we have not been able to sort ourselves - but really could not get stuff moving).
So, there. That was my pants, slightly shouty, shitty day. I feel shit for telling DD off. I feel shit for having had to spend my time researching something I don't want. I feel shit because I ache from sorting the shed base. And I got covered in shit. I feel better just dumping it on here. Though do keep slipping into feeling a bit teary and upset for some reason. Am not sure why. (I also can slip into periods of anxiety and can feel the symptoms welling a bit so not sure if that is it.). I kind of want the world to stop a bit. Stop throwing shit at me. Though I know actually it was only just a little bit of shitty water - which I can wash off.
If you have made it this far, well done. So, do I need a grip or AI actually quite reasonable for feel a bit shitty?