Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To wonder why you'd keep adding someone as a friend on Facebook, when it should be obvious they don't want to accept?

33 replies

annawigan · 05/10/2014 17:54

After pressing the ignore button I then get added again - why?!

I'd be too embarrassed to keep pushing the issue!

I know you can block them, it's not about that, I'm just genuinely wondering why people would keep doing this?

OP posts:

raltheraffe · 05/10/2014 17:56

Perhaps they send out tons of requests and have genuinely forgot they have asked you before.

pippinleaf · 05/10/2014 17:56

Maybe they don't understand facebook? My husbands relatives try to add me all the time...

Catsmamma · 05/10/2014 17:57

I thought you could only send a single request. If unaccepted then it just hangs there pending

is this person reinventing themselves to try and get a look at your page?

Tommy · 05/10/2014 17:57

some people have so many friends that they lose count of who they have added. Your name might keep popping up and they press the button because they can't remember asking you before.
Or - they really want to be your friend

LifesUPandLifesDOWN · 05/10/2014 18:00

My dp's sister does this to me on a weekly basis. I'd love to know why!

I'd block her but it would cause too much aggro

Hurr1cane · 05/10/2014 18:01

Just leave it hanging and don't press ignore. Then they can't re request and also it just looks like you haven't seen it anyway.

LifesUPandLifesDOWN · 05/10/2014 18:01

She tries to add me I should add

Original poster

annawigan · 05/10/2014 18:03

Sometimes I think they must cancel it and then add again.

Pretty sure they understand Facebook.

Not that many friends, either. Hundred plus but not thousands. :)

Just seems a bit arrogant to me, like 'you must have forgotten to accept'

OP posts:

gamerchick · 05/10/2014 18:05

Yes just do nothing. They'll have to take it back to bug you.

Or just block them completely.. problem solved

NormaStits · 05/10/2014 18:07

I have someone like this. I counted 9 requests before I finally left it hanging. It's someone I was briefly friends with at school but not good mates. I don't get it either.

wantacatplease · 05/10/2014 18:17

I think some people can't accept "rejection." I de-friended someone a few months ago...he was an ex-co-worker and became pretty erratic, posting about how we all need to buy gas masks because of the impending apocalypse and would air his dirty laundry regarding his ex, and became pretty verbally abusive about her. I just crept in and de-friended, thinking he probably won't notice as we haven't chatted or seen each other in a few years...not even a day later he sent me a friend request.

CheeseToastie123 · 05/10/2014 18:18

I rejected five or six requests from my stepsister. Why on Earth she sent even one knowing that I detest her would be beyond me if I didn't know already that she's an entirely self absorbed, attention seeking joy vacuum.

wantacatplease · 05/10/2014 18:22

Sometimes I think some people can't resist their need to be nosy, probably in your case, Cheese. She's probably dying to know what's happening in your life so she can compare and gossip, etc.

CheeseToastie123 · 05/10/2014 18:27

I'm friends with my other step-siblings, and my brothers too. Not hard to find out stuff from family either. She's a funny one though, refuses to accept I dislike her despite me telling her, quote openly, and repeatedly that I have no interest in a relationship with her. I didn't speak to her for over a year when we were in the same house ffs! She just believes that I can't mean it because who could dislike her, she's perfect. Urgh. She's vile.

CheeseToastie123 · 05/10/2014 18:29

I've had the re-request after defriendings as well. Bloody hell people, have some self respect!

hormonalandneedingcheese · 05/10/2014 19:07

I stopped pressing ignore for this reason OP. So weird because I've never had it before. I don't have many friends but the woman in question had bullied me at school and not changed so I didn't want to know.

redexpat · 05/10/2014 20:12

A friend had someone request her, she ignored, he asked again, she allowed him on minimal settings, then he messaged her to ask why he couldnt see her pictures. Take the hint man!

MrsToddsShortcut · 05/10/2014 21:36

I used to get numerous requests from my DM's colleague.

I'd heard of her, of course, so knew who they were from, but never met her.

I kept rejecting and she kept requesting and then started messaging explaining who she was.

Now I'm not one of those people who add/accept at will and I have a pretty small FB circle (less than 50). But why she imagined that I would want some random work colleague of my mothers on my FB, I have no idea.

Not that I'm very paranoid, but I could just imagine her sidling up to DM at work, "Ooh, I see MrsTodd has been going to X/Y/Z with Mr A/B/C! Who is he? Is he nice? Well I never!" Etc etc. Hideous

aquashiv · 05/10/2014 21:44

To piss you off.

CountYourEyelashes · 05/10/2014 22:41

Agree with the advice to just ignore the request, then they can't re-request, and if they were ever brazen enough to ask you about it, you could just say "Oh Facebook? Never go on it, sorry must have missed your request".

AtrociousCircumstance · 05/10/2014 22:45

Block them.

Nerf · 05/10/2014 22:54

My favourite one ever was 'you don't know me but your husband used to be married to my sister in law'

CountYourEyelashes · 05/10/2014 23:01

I once had a really weird experience when I was seeing a new man, and this 'girl' who I'd never heard of friend requested me. Her profile pic was a cartoon, and there were no other pics on her (most likely fake) profile.

My new man was the sort who accepted everyone, and I noticed he'd accepted her as a friend at the same time as I had received her request. I asked him about her, he said he didn't know who she was, just accepted her because she had the same surname as me so he assumed she was a relative of mine (!!).

She friend requested me again, and also befriended another of my FB friends who happens to have the same unusual name as my sister. I messaged that friend to ask her if she knew this girl, and she said no she didn't, she just accepted all requests!

She then sent me a private message asking me whether I hung out at a certain club, and how did I meet my new man etc... and she had also been messaging my new man asking questions about me.. at this point I replied that I didn't know her and asked her who she was. She apologized and said she was just trying to make new friends...

All very weird. I think I blocked her in the end. I'm convinced it was either an ex-girlfriend of my new man's, or some psycho...would love to know who it was.

ClapHandsIfYouBelieveInFatties · 05/10/2014 23:06

I have studiously ignored one request from a school mum. Not because I don;t like her but because I do not mix school and real life. I don't want to know whose been where and done what at school. I just don't care.

treaclesoda · 05/10/2014 23:15

The unfriending thing can happen by accident, there must be a glitch in the system somewhere. One of my friends disappeared from my friends list and I disappeared from hers, but neither of us had unfriended the other. If we were prone to drama we'd have had a big falling out over who unfriended who

Similarly I've had people wonder why I didn't accept their friend request yet when I check my pending requests bit, there is no request from them. It's all very strange.

Flip

1 2