Facebook, year 7 help needed

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Just found out D's year 7 has just got a fb acct. I hate fb and shocked at how many of his friends have them. Needless to say he has put up everything with no privacy what so ever. Just got family member to trawl through it and get it taken down. He knows I have banned fb until he is year 8 and old enough but have I gone too far by banning his rugby match today and refusing new rugby shirt. Is this the norm now. Worried sick re bad stuff and bad adults. Just read him riot act. Don't know what to do next. No dh as dead and live at mo with DM who thinks I have gone too far but she is narc anyway

tbh banning matches-if he's playing- is v unreasonable. If he's going to each, fine.

think I'd go for the discussion route tho rather than the riot act. would set it up with him again with proper security settings. better he does it with you than behind your back, which he probably will do again.

Going to match not each..

Well I think they have to be 13 to have an account anyways (although of course many are permitted by their parents to have them earlier). So id just go down that route - it is against the law. When you are 13 I will help you set one up and we will sort out all the privacy settings.

I think the punishment is justifiable purelt for him doing something you have explicitly told him not to do.

Better that he uses it in an educated manner and not subversively and leave it all open. Are kids still into it? My yr8 has shown no interest in joining as yet.

I think you've been a little harsh banning rugby but I guess that depends on your normal level of punishments.

My dd had one for going to high school. I set it up and locked it quite privately so only her friends can see it and ensuring that I had the password to check it regularly.

I think you need to sit down with him and talk him through setting things up with out your permission and ensuring he understands about ensuring privacy. Try and keep calm about this part otherwise he won't listen.

I wouldn't have banned him playing rugby but that's me, and you've said it so you need to follow through with it and not make it a threat that you then don't carry through.

that seems like a bit of an overreaction tbh. Facebook doesn't have to be all bad and if you help him set it up securely (and secure your internet connection, more importantly) year 7 doesn't seem like a bad time for a gentle introduction to social media to me. sounds like he was just posting match results and photos, not participating in cyber bullying or anything.

like it or not, they are the first generation born into all pervasive social media and there is nothing we can do to change that. teaching responsible usage from a young age may be our best bet.

what about making it a condition that you can see his posts?

OK good advice as always. I am tough with kids. Maybe a bit harsh this morning

the age 13 thing is due to a USA law about collecting information on children under the age of 13 not an actual safety issue as such.

My 2 have fb accounts but their profiles have high security and I have their log in details. TBH they rarely use them and just had them for the games and to keep in contact with their relatives in England

Do children still use facebook? My 2 prefer Tumblr.

However, it's better to have it with your knowledge and help to ensure his privacy settings are set than doing it behind your back.

Sit down with him and have a reasoned discussion about it to try and get him to see that it's not you being mean it's you being protective.

By all means keep an eye on what he's posting, but don't become his friend on there.