AIBU to leave my partner?

[Mumoftwomonkeys1976]

When I have two children. Just that really, we haven't been getting on for ages and we haven't slept together for six months. He likes a drink and when he's drunk he tends to get quite abusive towards me, verbal not physical.
We have 2 children, DS 1 (13 from my previous relationship) and DS2 (5) together. The thing is I'm scared to be on my own, scared I won't manage financially and I'm afraid I will regret it if I throw him out.
I came home from my afternoon shift last night to find him very drunk, slurring his words and tripping over (the boys were at sleepovers) and he was really nasty to me. I told him if he doesn't buck up his ideas he has to leave and he said if he goes I will lose my main source of income (him apparently) and nobody else would want me because why would any man want a woman who's belly is bigger than her tits .
I don't know what to do, this is just one incident out of many, but he can also be really nice, please tell me what u all think. Would anyone else allow themselves to be spoken to like this.

No I wouldn't. But repost in Relationships, there are a lot of amazing women there who will help you find the courage and who will be able to give you step by step practical advice.
He makes you feel dreadful about yourself, he's being abusive and your children are seeing this daily. You deserve better.

No.

You'll find that being happier in the short term outweighs everything else.

The longer you stay with this person the longer it will take before happy and content finds you.

Not in a million years would I allow myself to be spoken to like this - under any circumstances. Tell him you are leaving because when he is drunk he is nasty and not the person you know. Then tell him to seek help for his alcoholism.

Go to the citizens advice, you will be entitled to something to help you live I'm sure, if it helps maybe you should visit them first but I don't see how staying with him is the answer. I'm sorry you're going through this. He sounds awful. Do you have support?

No I absolutely would not allow myself to be spoken to like this. And no, you are not being unreasonable to sling him out.

Thank you for replying, yes I will repost in relationships, I didn't think of that, this is the only place I ever hang out on mn tbh cos it's the most lively lol, thank you

I'm absolutely certain you can do better. Men don't care about stomach size btw. I was a size 24 when I met DH!

We did split up for a year but got back together last summer, everything is in my name, I had my house and my car before we met. Yes I have support, i have been with my parents and my brother and sister discussing this all day and to be honest it was all i could do to stop by brother coming over and knocking him out.
I've just come home from a party with ds2 and as I expected he is acting like nothing has happened.
So as not to drip feed I should mention that he has previously been taken to court by his ex wife for rape and arson, very early on in our relationship and I stood by him, this was 9 years ago.

Children know when they're growing up in an unhappy home.

Do not stay in an unhappy relationship for the children.

My parents split when I was 9. It was the absolute best thing they could have done for their children.

Rather than repost, just report your first post and ask MNHQ to move it to relationships.

And no, YANBU. He sounds awful.

It sounds like you've stopped seeing yourself as a human being. No human deserves to be abused by another person, especially when they are supposed to be loved by that person. You have children, but that's no excuse to stay, in fact it's more of a reason why you should be in a healthy, happy, loving environment (on your own, or with someone else), because no child deserves living in a home where there is emotional abuse.

The weight jibs are extremely low and it sounds like he's playing on your self confidence issues. Please don't allow a man who has issues with drink tell you or make you feel less than you are.

I hope you have family and friends who can support you and your children, the road ahead is long, painful and unclear, but it's worth it.

What do you make of his ex's claims now?

Rape and arson?
Get rid of him before he goes further than he has already with you.

Pictish I'm starting to have my doubts to be honest

Why did you stay with him when you knew about the ex wife's claims?

Why did you take him back?

Nothing should be stopping you from kicking him out now. Just take a deep breath and do what you know you need to do!

I don't know if anyone will know what I mean, but it's like when I piss him off he goes into another room, swearing and hissing and muttering to himself and I find this more scary than when he actually shouts at me directly

I stayed with him because I thought it was lies, the same ex wife also falsely reported me to social services for leaving my son home alone

op

He sounds horrific and genuinely frightening.

I really think that it would be in both yours and your children's best interests if you left him.

Are there people in real life who will offer you support?

I think you ought to consider the possibility that there was truth to what she said.

when I piss him off he goes into another room, swearing and hissing and muttering to himself and I find this more scary than when he actually shouts at me directly
He sounds horrible.

Rely on your families support (for the sake of DC) and get him out of your life. He isn't prepared to sort himself out.

I think he needs to go as soon as possible, and you might need some protection from him. Women's Aid will advise you. He's not a nice man in any way, shape or form.

I only needed to read your title.

No, yanbu to leave your partner if that's what you want to do. It is your life and your decision - you don't need to justify it in any way.

Thank you all for your advice, I am going to be skint but I am also going to be a lot happier I hope, I won't have to walk around on eggshells anymore, thank you.