To not cope well with my depressed DH

[StarShank]

When he is down I am terrified he is going to kill himself. He is snappy and quiet and just wants to talk and talk about how shit everything is, never leaves the sofa and just eats take away.

I listen, I validate him and gently point out things that he saying that are really negative and skewed E.g. "I have no friends" when actually he has loads. I keep the house decent, I cook healthy meals, I try not to freak out and beg him not to die, I encourage him to talk to his gp and therapist. I try and encourage him out of the house.

I try and look after myself by keeping busy and eating well, sleeping OK, talking to my therapist and friends, etc.

What else can I be doing? I'm just utterly terrified and I feel lost and alone and it drags me down. Maybe it is more about accepting the situation than doing anything more?

Idk. I reckon some of you guys will have been in this situation.... Am I doing anything wrong? What else can I be doing?

Thanks everyone.

Nulliferous, take your sneering somewhere else. You're helping no one on this thread

You're right OP, for some people its a physical cause but not for everyone. I'm fairly sure that mine is 100% down to nurture (emotionally abusive and neglectful parents). It has helped hugely to identify the reason why I feel this way.

Hope that things get better for both of you x

some of the idiots on this page obviously have never lived with a deppresive NULLEFERIOUS .if he is ill he is not being a selfish arse .JENEAU .most depressives dont wallow or talk about it thats the problem .my hubby has had mental health problems for 16 year and quite a few really bad episodes this last year resulting in 3 hospital addmissions .but no matter what anyone says its not there fault and it is not ours either .they cannot just snap out of it .god i wish .STARSHANK .you are doing your best .just keep doing your normal things especially for the children .but i went through torture at first .am i not a good enough wife/mother /cook /housewife .but its not about you its your hubby,s illness.i am in the middle of a crisis with hubby but i am just paddling along hopeing we will come out the other end .

I wonder if people would be calling a new mother a selfish arse because of PND.

Can't men have depression with out being called abusive. This is why many men don't get the help and support needed.

Op you sound like a very supportive wife. Would setting a small achievable goal like go to the shop for a newspaper every day help.

I wonder if people would be calling a new mother a selfish arse because of PND.

Can't men have depression with out being called abusive. This is why many men don't get the help and support needed.

Op you sound like a very supportive wife. Would setting a small achievable goal like go to the shop for a newspaper every day help.

piper you are correct my hubby,s goal at this moment is getting up /dressed /washed .and anything else is a bonus .the washing part was a bit tricky for a while