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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be getting really cross with H?

34 replies

HelpMeGetOutOfHere · 03/10/2014 14:40

Ds broke his arm yesterday. He's got a trip at the end of the month to play sport which he now can't play.

Anyway told today at fracture clinic that next week he can go back for a clip on cast?? So now H is saying that ds can try and play the sport in three weeks time!!! The consultant has told ds that he's out if action for 6 weeks, H us insuring that ds will be fine in 3 weeks and can just take his cast off!

Poor ds obviously wants to get better and not risk further injury but he desperately wants to play on this trip and to go back to his club and play ASAP.

I'm so cross with H he just won't listen to what the consultant has said.

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 03/10/2014 14:45

Surely the coach won't let him play if the consultant has told him to rest?

BertieBotts · 03/10/2014 14:46

Oh or you mean that your DH is giving DS false hope that he can go on the trip when he won't be able to?

Original poster
HelpMeGetOutOfHere · 03/10/2014 14:49

Well im pretty sure that the coach won't allow ds to play anyway, but yes H giving dd false hope and also coming out with rubbish like ds will know when his arm is healed and 6 weeks is too long a healing time for most breaks.

H has no medical training apart from a first aid course to be first aided at youth rugby matches. I in the other hand am a trained nurse and midwife although no longer working as one. However according to H as his first aid certificate is current his knowledge is greater than mine.

OP posts:
LornaGoon · 03/10/2014 14:52

Your DH needs to calm his tits about your DS playing sport with an unhealed arm if that's what the consultant said.

If your DS injures it further he'll need further medical treatment and potentially cause long term damage and pain.

Is he trying to teach him something about being a 'real man' or some nonsense - breaking through the pain barrier type thing?

It is rubbish if your DS wanted to play but really its a life lesson for him in dealing with disappointment not ignoring common sense surely.

Wont there be other opportunities?

firesidechat · 03/10/2014 15:00

6 weeks is standard for fractures. I assume your husband has a medical degree if he knows better than the doctor.

blanklook · 03/10/2014 15:03

Get the instructions from the consultant in writing, give it to your son's coach.

NoodleOodle · 03/10/2014 15:04

He's actually said that his first aid course trumps your years of nurse training and practice? That alone would have me livid.

puntasticusername · 03/10/2014 15:18

YANBU. It sounds as if your H may be a little over-invested in this sports trip. It's clouding his judgment.

No way a son of mine would be going on that trip without the consultant's say-so.

Original poster
HelpMeGetOutOfHere · 03/10/2014 15:55

H is very over invested in the rugby. He was a successful albeit only county rugby player himself. Ds lives for rugby and has been looking forward to this trip since before he even joined the school. His aim
From day one of starting senior school was to get on the A team and be allowed to go on this trip.

There is a bit of a status thing about going as the team get a special personalised kit and are allowed to wear it for pe instead of the standard kit. It is a one off opportunity with school as it's only yr8's that go. He goes on tour with his club each year but that's in the uk and not holland.

I'm just disappointed for ds he was really looking forward to it. He's been training hard and even goes running just to bring his fitness up for rugby.

I have told h rather unceremoniously that under no circumstances will ds be taking his cast off to play any sport before he gets the all clear from fracture clinic.

He has made the comment about his training being more current a few times before but always said in a joking way. Today he was not joking! I haven't worked in that field for four years now but I'm sure the basics are still the same.

OP posts:
ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 03/10/2014 16:21

Apart from the obvious risk of harm to your DS which is the key thing, no school is going to risk their liability insurance and let him play against doctors advice. If he damaged his arm more seriously during a match what then.

parallax80 · 03/10/2014 16:23

I worked in sub-Saharan Africa for a while doing paediatric orthopaedics. The consequences of fracture mal- or non- union can be devastating - ie permanent disability. YANBU and your H is being a bit of a tool. HTH.

maybe you can bribe the clinic to put a full, non-removable fibreglass cast on

hesterton · 03/10/2014 16:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
HelpMeGetOutOfHere · 03/10/2014 17:03

I'm going to persuade them to put a normal plaster cast on so it can't be removed. Pe dept not got back to me yet, but I'm certain that they won't let him play until he has a letter from the consultant/hospital or gp anyway.

OP posts:
tigermoll · 03/10/2014 18:48

Wouldn't the best thing be to wait until the three week check up (when the doctor was going to put on the removable cast) and see how healed it is then? If your son feels that you purposefully stopped him from going on the trip by insisting on the permanent cast, he is likely to be angry with you, possibly for ever. Can you and your H wait and see?

skylark2 · 03/10/2014 18:53

If he's already been selected for the trip, paid etc., can he go anyway? Even if it's only to be ballboy and do the warmups?

If he's going anyway, it might take the stress out of can he / can't he play. (I don't think he'll be remotely ready in 3 weeks).

AnyFucker · 03/10/2014 18:59

Actually, for a contact sport like rugby 12 Weeks, not 6, is standard after a fracture to not play the sport

bamboostalks · 03/10/2014 19:03

I think he will be outfit longer than that. No rugby for 3 months. Running yes.

bamboostalks · 03/10/2014 19:03

Out for not outfit. x post.

outtolunchagain · 03/10/2014 19:10

My ds broke his arm the first weekend in September last year. He had a clip on cast after 2 weeks but no rugby until after half term . even then it was a bit tight,

two weeks after he had the removable splint on he fell and we were back in A and E everyone , including the dr thought he had rebroken it but he was lucky .So I doubt he will be playing plus any school or rugby club would be I. Breach of their insurance probably if they let him.

Original poster
HelpMeGetOutOfHere · 03/10/2014 19:10

He broke his arm yesterday. Fracture clinic will only be one week after he broke it for the clip on cast (apparently the standard cast here). It will
Be three weeks after the break that he's due to go in the trip. He won't be ready no doubt about it. I am
Hoping he can still go and just not play. They must have taken into account a number of subs anyway? We've paid just over £1000 for this trip so I really hope he can go and join in with the social side of the trip and cheer his team mates on from the side lines.

OP posts:
Anniegetyourgun · 03/10/2014 19:13

First aid courses tell you how to recognise a break and to immobilise the limb until the real medical team get there. They totally do not say anything about how long fractures take to heal! And rightly so, given that you can be a fully qualified first aider inside a week whereas becoming a hospital consultant takes a mite longer.

Rugby with a recently broken arm? Hmm Does he actually care about DS?

Chottie · 03/10/2014 19:39

This is just awful! what planet is your DH on? He needs to get a sense of proportion, this is a rugby tour and not the end of the world. What message is he sending to your DS? Yes, it's a real shame and no doubt your son was looking forward to it, but it's not going to happen. The important thing is that your DS's arm is allowed to heal and that the consultant/hospital's advice is followed to the letter.

Regarding your DH's first aid certificate, snap! I have one too and there is no way I would not be following the consultant's advice.

Itsfab · 03/10/2014 19:46

Is it possible they will let your son play if your dickhead H is very persuasive? If so, I would write a letter to school making your wishes, and the consultants advice, very clear. Maybe mention action if they allow him to play might also focus their mind if they are easily swayed but your issue is your prat of a husband and words need to be had.

Original poster
HelpMeGetOutOfHere · 03/10/2014 20:25

I doubt very much that school could be persuaded. I'm frustrated at the lack of contact from them. He broke his arm at school and I've called to ask about his return yesterday and three times today and no one has called back. Head of year and pe teacher. It was suggested at the hospital that children in plaster often aren't allowed on premises due to health and safety?

Ds will not be playing until the consultant says he can. He can go to training in a week or so running and sit ups as long as he feels comfortable. He is desperate to get out already. This boy does not do sitting down and doing nothing.

OP posts:
CrapBag · 03/10/2014 22:02

Your irresponsible DH wants his son to play rugby 4 weeks after breaking his arm so he can relive his rugby glory days through his child, then has the nerve to say his first aid training trumps your nursing and midwifery!!!??

Words fail me!

YADNBU!

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