AIBU to have found this really offensive

[Ceasre]

Just for the record I do not find offense in much, switch it off if you don't like it, if someone is racist/homophobic don't engage with them, if someone posts a Britain First picture on FB ignore them or unfriend them etc etc.

I like FB just to keep in contact with relatives and friends overseas and don't air any dirty washing on it, or leave cryptic comments. Just look at photos, happy birthdays etc.

However, my DP's niece (mid 40s) wrote a comment "I did not know Scott Mills was a batty". I was open mouthed when I read it and I did find it really offensive. Replace the word "batty" with Gay and I would not have batted an eyelid.

So as not to drip feed DP's family are not that close, but not estranged or anything, just different people with different lives, but on friendly terms when we meet at the odd family event. Have not seen her for a couple of years and my eldest DS is gay. He is very laid back, but even he said this word is "pretty bad"!

Is this casual homophobia?

Thanks all. Glad to see that those who had heard of it agree it is really offensive, yes, it does pretty much mean arse bandit. I was totally aware of what it means, hence why I was upset.

Niece is not Jamaican or from the Caribbean.

My lovely sister had never heard of it either so was surprised when I called her to rant (always use her as a sounding board if I am feeling angry or upset, she is brilliant). Now she is what I would affectionately call "batty" in the nicest possible way.

I did call her on it, just said "Pretty offensive word x." No comment back and I will now unfriend her.

I long for the day when it isn't even something that would be commented about, because it doesn't actually matter.

Does she know it's an offensive word? Or does she just think it's the same as saying 'gay'?

I have never heard of it being used in this way - the only 'batty' I've ever heard means daft. Every day's a school day on MN!

If I had read that comment, I would have assumed it was a strange way of saying he bats for the other side. A bit un PC these days, but something I grew up hearing.

And as I said to my DSis who said maybe she did not know it was offensive, you have either never heard the word used in such a context, but if you use it in such a context then you have heard the word and therefore know exactly what it means.

I would never have put her down as homophobic before this. Now I question it, as before my DS came out he always got a birthday card with a tenner in it, but since he came out 3 years ago he has not had anything, yet DS2 always gets a card. If DS2 gets a card this year it will be very telling.

Maybe she doesn't know it's offensive, but that's why it's important that she gets pulled up on her use of it.
You shouldn't stop learning when you pass the teenage years.

Yes - she might know what it 'means', in that the man is gay, but she might not know why it means that & that it's offensive iyswim.

It's like a lot of other words people used to use such as moron/retard/spazz - they were terms intended to be a put down, repeated in the context in which they were heard, but none of us knew how they'd come to be/what they actually meant. Once we did, we stopped using them!

How old is DS1?

How old are each of your DSs? It seems pretty odd that she stopped sending him a card. Unless he reached a certain age maybe?

Is there any possibility that she's being ironic, in the same way that someone might post "I didn't realise that Peter A loved his children so much"??

She sounds unpleasantly homophobic to me. That's reinforced by her treatment of your son since he came out.
I'd want to challenge a comment or behaviour like that but people deal with things I'm different ways.