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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this sort of childcare exists?

23 replies

AppleSnapple · 03/10/2014 11:05

I'm looking for a nanny/childminder to mind my 2 in my home- one school going, one not yet, 2 days a week, we're out in the sticks a bit... When the littlest one goes to school it would be 2 days school collection and minding at home, prob only 8 hours per week; but for the first 3 years, minding my youngest at home too... Do these sort of arrangements even exist, and where on earth do I start looking? Ds1 already with after school childminder with lots of other children but it's not going well, he's unhappy and tearful (and consequently so am I!!) so am looking for something longer term where they can both be minded together.

Sorry for waffle but am desperate to sort something that is going to work out well for us, just wondering if there's a nanny share website or the like that I haven't found... TIA

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TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 03/10/2014 11:10

You need a nanny who wants part time - there are plenty of them about though I imagine your rural location limits the choice.

You could try thenannysharers and nannyshare websites but that's more for people who want the nanny to look after two sets of children at the same time.

Advertise on childcare.co.uk, gumtree and locally. Do you have a nanny agency nearby?

Plenty of nannies work part time or have two employers on different days.

AppleSnapple · 03/10/2014 11:41

Thank you tondelayo. No nanny agencies nearby, but perhaps just need to post our requirements as broadly as I can. If a nanny is working for 2 families does that technically make them self employed?

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Middleagedmotheroftwo · 03/10/2014 11:44

how would you feel about having an au pair?

AppleSnapple · 03/10/2014 11:49

In theory, completely fine, but I only work 2 days a week and our house isn't massjve so not really set up to accommodate one, also not sure I'd want someone around on the days it's 'just us' iyswim

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TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 03/10/2014 12:10

Not an expert but no, they won't be self employed by HMRC's reckoning as they work fixed hours and also can't send in a substitute if they are not available. They will simply have two employers who pay tax, NI on their behalf.

BerylStreep · 03/10/2014 12:14

I have heard of live out au pairs. Not sure how it works though.

After trying almost every type of childcare going, I found a lovely CM who took DS for full days (2 days a week), and collected DD from school in the afternoon.

Middleagedmotheroftwo · 03/10/2014 12:15

That's a shame, because the au pair system is great. There are other benefits too, even though you'd only need her for 2 days a week for daytime child care. You have a live in babysitter, which doesn't cost extra, and which means you can be late, as she could go to bed. You have more flexibility than you would with a childminder, nursery, nanny etc to do things at last minute, because the AP lives in your home. You have help with things like housework, shopping etc, and a second pair of hands to help with the DCs, even when you're around.

They usually develop a good social life (in our experience), once they get involved with the local AP network, and she'd be out at English lessons at least once a week, so you would get the "just us" time you like.

Having had an AP for about 8 years, I would say that the benefits vastly outweigh the downsides of having someone round - they very quickly become part of the family anyway, so it's not like having "someone" around, it's like having a grown up child around.

(NB - I said "she" throughout - could equally be a "he")

nomdemere · 03/10/2014 12:17

I have this - 2 days a week arrangement. As a PP said, I'm still an employer. My nanny works 3 days a week for another family. I know them, but we're not a 'nanny share' - we're each separate employers.

MOST IMPORTANT THING! - You MUST advertise and agree a GROSS rate of pay, not net. Otherwise you will be in a massively complicated tax situation which will drive you insane and may cost you a lot. If it's a gross pay, there's no issue.

I use a nanny payroll company which makes it even simpler, and hired my nanny via an agency.

There are lots of part-time nannies in my area - not enough full-time jobs available I suspect. The only awkward situation is when your nanny loses her other job (family move/don't need a nanny any more) - if she has trouble replacing it, it can end up in disruption to you (if she goes to another job).

I've had my nanny for 3 years, and hopefully will much longer. I give her regular pay rises, and I've told her that if her other family give notice, then to talk to me before she does anything rash - e.g. I would consider employing her full-time while she finds another part-time job to fit with us, rather than risk losing her because she needs to take something else quickly and it doesn't fit with our days.

Also - another important thing. Think about all the jobs you'd like your nanny to do (esp if the role may change over the years). Our nanny does ironing (for the whole family not just kids), changes beds (ditto), runs errands etc. etc. Next year all the DC will be at school, and she'll take on more household tasks like cooking family meals etc. in term-time. She is very happy to do this, and it works well - but many nannies wouldn't like this kind of role.

Also think about your particular requirements (e.g. my DC have special dietary requirements, I have a no-TV in the daytime rule etc. etc.) The more you discuss up front, the more you'll both know if this is a good fit.

monsterfaery · 03/10/2014 12:38

I have a friend who does after school childcare in someones home, she has her own young dc who goes with her and she picks the children up from school and looks after them 'till parents come home. So it's worth advertising for exactly what you want because there is likely to be someone out there who is looking for that type of thing.

LittlePeaPod · 03/10/2014 12:57

Hi Op try here...

www.childcare.co.uk/

AppleSnapple · 03/10/2014 18:22

Thanks everyone- some really good suggestions there. Thanks too nomdemere for the info about nanny payroll, will look into that. So I guess I need to really drill down exactly what we need and then just advertise online then! I will have a look at that website now littlepea, thank you.

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Seafoam · 03/10/2014 18:32

I do exactly this.

where are you op?

AppleSnapple · 03/10/2014 20:25

Gloucestershire. I suppose it's unreasonable to hope you might live down the road seafoam! Grin

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AppleSnapple · 03/10/2014 20:26

Btw littlepeapod that website looks excellent, thanks for top tip!

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SummerSazz · 03/10/2014 20:33

I'm in Gloucestershire and found someone for similar requirements on Childcare.co.uk but it was only temporary and she was 'between jobs'. Before this we had a fab childminder but unfortunately she didn't do our local school.

GreenPetal94 · 03/10/2014 20:39

Yes we have similar, a lady who looks after boys at home and does pick up etc. She is a mature student (well now a graduate). Originally we found her by advertising through the University job site as we are very near major university. She is not qualified but put on her CV that she looked after her 7 younger cousins and siblings simultaneously. This impressed me enough to take a risk and she has been wonderful, she is over 30, not young. I pay her £8 an hour but my pal pays her £7 an hour for looking after 3 littlies. I pay her more as she has become a friend and she is very broke.

AppleSnapple · 03/10/2014 20:46

Thanks, you're giving me hope!! The problem is I'm so happy with ds2's nursery, just not so happy with ds1's after school childminder... I have to either change both or neither to make it cost effective so I need to be sure it's the best person/option for ds2 too! Am certain the right person is out there...!

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maddening · 03/10/2014 20:52

Post on childcare.co.uk - when I was looking I did as didn't know what I was looking for - initially considering cm alongside preschool - and had nannies and cm pming me offering their services - we went with a preschool that does extended hours . You also see when cm and nannies have viewed your profile and view profiles of cm and nannies in your area.

maddening · 03/10/2014 20:53

Why not just change the childminder?

Hmmmwhatnow · 03/10/2014 21:03

How much do nannies actually cost?

Seafoam · 03/10/2014 21:05

Haha. ..actually I do!

fyi whatnow - I charge 9ph.

AppleSnapple · 03/10/2014 21:28

I would change childminder, maddening, but there are only 2 ladies that do it in the village- I have looked high up and low down and no one else does schoolruns to our school. I wouldn't send ds2 to her, even though she takes younger ones too, as she literally spends half the day to-ing and fro-ing to various places- school, preschool, nursery etc doing collections. He's quite shy and I thought he'd spend half the day in the pushchair and get a bit trampled on and forgotten... I know I sound a bit precious but I feel guilty enough atm working when ds1 is desperate for it to be me picking him up from school, I don't need the added guilt of worrying about ds2's welfare!! Grin

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Seafoam · 03/10/2014 21:33

Apple I've pm'd you

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