To tell H that it's unacceptable to wake ds up at 5.30am

[Birra]

H gets up really early, leaves house at 5.30
Recently he has taken to going in to see ds. He's 7.
I appreciate he wants to see him, but he's actually waking him. He wakes properly as soon as H gone, and he will not go back up sleep.
So aibu to ask him, to look, maybe quick peck, but don't cuddle him or talk to him.

There's more to this, but that's the basic question

Good idea saying it is school saying he's not concentrating because he's tired.

What does ds say about it?
How long is this likely to go on for? A couple of weeks -let it go. Longer, why is it longer?

yes your H is a very selfish man & this shows he only thinks of himself and his own 'wants' not the actual needs of your DS. And of course he is demonstrating absolutely zero thought and consideration for you too, but that is probably his point.

Crack on with that separation - good luck.

He is doing it on purpose to show what a good dad he is a parent who wakes his child for selfish and possible twisted reasons (to wind you up) and not being able to tolerate more than an hour with their childcis a useless parent imo,

I don't really want to say the school says he's tired, as H has recently suggested that ds goes to bed too late. This is believe is because he's had enough of him on the weekend and wants him to go to bed.
It's awful.
We go upstairs 7/7.30, ds is asleep by 8.30. He reads, and we do his spellings, verbally. It works well for us.
He won't leave the house, that's the problem. And no funds for either to move out.
He will have funds next month, so that's when he's moving out- hopefully

Sounds like you need to get this seperation hurried up!
My dh does this with ds (2) they have a big cuddle and a kiss but ds just snoozes on for another hour, its very sweet. Obviously this ient the case for you however

Sorry to be blunt but your H is an idiot who is deliberately waking your DS and hence you. Do you really think asking him not to do it will make any difference especially since he's presenting it as emotional blackmail about potentially missing DS when you leave?

Good luck with arranging the separation as quickly and smoothly as possible. In the meantime, if he won't be reasonable (which is likely) then perhaps you could introduce a nap to try to let DS catch up on sleep? He really shouldn't be suffering because his Dad is being an arse.

Bookaboo- I think me asking him not to do it will result in a lot of verbal abuse.
What mother asks the child's father not to kiss him when he hardly sees him all week? What a bitch!
That's why I was checking I wasn't being unreasonable.
I have to mention it though.

You could blandly point out that as he didn't take the trouble to go in and kiss DS previously to the impending split, if you were to discuss his change in behaviour to someone else, they would probably conclude that he is being emotionally abusive - purposefully waking DS extremely early and disrupting his sleep.

What parent wouldn't want to kiss his child when he hardly sees him all week? - A good parent who puts his child's welfare and need for good sleep patterns before his own insecurity and neediness. That's who.

At least I suppose your STBX is being good enough to show you exactly what a twat he is now, which will presuambly only help you come to terms with the split.

Stay safe Birra . If he is planning on leaving soon then he'll be at his most volatile.

I hop e the separation goes smoothly as possible for you and your boy it can't be easy but I think you need to tell him to stop wil your son not climb into bed with you for an extra hour . Your poor son bei g used as an emotional punch bag by his father

Well he's just phoned, and I answered because I thought he might be apologising about last night. Nope.
And ds told him that he got up when he woke him up, didn't mention that.
All talk about a big piss up lunch he's got for today.

Bastard

Ds gets into bed with me, but will not go back to sleep

Can you not leave him at all is there anyway he can get out of the house earlier he didn't apologise because in his head he did nothing wrong.

He's just said maybe he'll stay on his friends floor tonight and tomorrow.

For the piss up weekend

goodness me that is totally not acceptable and if it was me i would be fuming about that id tell him to stop it and to bleep off

I would be tempted to text him and say maybe isn't acceptable you need a definate answer

He will stay there

Change the locks and tell him not to bother coming back from his mates.

That's good that he's staying away for the w/e (what a committed and fabulous DF BTW, putting drinking above seeing his DS). I'm not sure you sound entirely safe so have plans in place.

Unfortunately, it's just a mates hotel room floor.

So he has to kiss him at 5.30 in the morning but fucks off for the weekend, what a selfish twat.

You should really phone the police if he comes home drunk and abuses you again