Moving away from family - WWYD

[mdpis3]

How far away do you live from your nearest immediate family? I mean in terms of parents, grandparents and siblings (and their in-law equivalent) not aunts, uncles and cousins etc We are at a point in our lives whereby a relocation (and lifestyle change) is imminent and it'll put us aprox. 70 miles from my parents who we are all (me, DH and DD6) extremely close to and currently live one road away from. We already live 60 miles from DHs family and this will put them maybe 100 miles away. We are a little different to anyone else in either of our families and like the remote off-the-grid style of living and are not phased by the physical distance (or that my DH will have to commute 70 miles each way to work) but it had me wondering whether other people go thru the same emotions when moving further away than just the other side of town. I know we have to do what is right for our family unit and I know the world is smaller than we realise and that people can always hop in the car or on the train or bus if they want to visit but how did you adjust to not having family right around the corner? And how did you prepare your children i
for not seeing grandparents or cousins etc so much? My DH and I so badly want this lifestyle change but I am panicked and could use some reassurance that sometimes change can be good and that it's ok to go on an adventure. Would you move away from where you live if it would give your children a much better standard of life? Fwiw we home educate so no swapping schools etc I just wondered if I'm being unreasonable to want this if it takes my DC from her grandparents and it makes my DHs commute hellish (even if he says he is all for if). What would you do?

Approximately 12,000 miles. I was very close to my father and siblings before we emigrated and I still am. DH was never very close to his mother and still isn't. We used to live 2 mins drive from my father & brother (next village along type drive).

We wanted the lifestyle change and we love it.

I live a Skype call away from my parents (who are in NZ, I am in UK) and they are my only family (I do have siblings in the UK but am NC with them so they don't count )

My folks emigrated when my older dcs were both under 4, and I simply explained that we would still see each other (on the computer) but they won't be coming to out house anymore and vice versa. They understand that it's a long plane ride away to NZ and that's why we can't be with them all the time.

Our youngest (2) has so far never met them irl but loves seeing them on Skype (though she doesn't understand it quite yet, she talks to the tv too )

We live in a different country but still in Europe. People tend to visit a lot as it's an amazing city. I think we've had 1 month so far where we haven't had visitors and there's skype.

In an ideal world I would like to live closer to my parents because they are lovely but their life in England is good and ours is here.

I feel like jumping for joy that I'm not living in the same country as my inlaws because they are shit, luckily they only visit twice a year.

Do what's right for your family (You, DH and DC). It's very important to have a good standard of life, and if that means elsewhere then I say go for it.

We're a 2 hour drive to see them.

It still works, we just get more notice before visits and make it "special" when we do visit. So less tension. Yay!

Do it

You have your dh and kids so that's your immediate family with you

I dream of dh coming home every night.

The commute in miles for your dh depends in the route.

70 miles of quiet A roads can be a quick doddle compared to 25 miles on busy routes.

Sometimes as daft as it sounds you see relatives more when you are further away than just around the corner as you make more time to visit.

You can text Email, Skype and it's not that far. Good luck op.

DH's parents are 200km away, his DS is 2000km. My mother is 2000km, father and brother are 450 km, one sister is 50km and the other is about 10,000km away.

However, I am estranged from my family, so only DH's matters.

Sister 6 miles/ 45 mins.
Parents 180 miles / 3.5 hours

Wish mum and dad were closer.

I personally would hate to live just one road away from my parents.

You and your DH are presumably different to me though, or else you would already live further away.

So my thoughts on what is "correct" won't be any use to you, because we clearly have very different ideas of what we like.

We are about 2 + 1/2 hrs drive from my parents. Don't have anyone else.

I moved 3500 miles away with a 1yo and a 4yo. It was hard at first and our phone bill was ridiculous but 35 years later I've never regretted it.

1 1/2 hrs drive which was fine when my parents were hale and well but is far too far now.
Your move sounds like an adventure, but make sure you don't burn your boats and could move back again if you want to.

We live 230 miles from my parents, 50 from Oh's.

We lived those distances when DD was born, so have never known any different. I don't think though that I could have taken DD so far from my parents had we lived close to them when she was born/young.

I moved 180 miles to go to university and now live 100 miles away which takes 2.5 hours to drive. My mother in law is 1hr 15 minutes away. I wish my parents were nearer as they are getting older but I still speak and see them regularly and can get there in a couple of hours if I go by train. My daughter is now in London and won't be back in Edinburgh permanently ever. My son is in dundee and depends how his career goes as to where he ends up. Skype/FaceTime makes a huge difference though. We are all very close though.

DF 5 miles, 10 minutes: we see him most weeks
FIL and SMIL 95 miles, 2 hours: we see them every 2 months or so, sometimes more often.
MIL 1,900 miles and a 3 hour flight. We haven't seen her in 4 years.

All those arrangements suit me.

My family are three and a half hours drive away and DH's seven hours away. Never been a problem. My mother visits about every 3 months. We go to her once or twice a year. We visit DH's parents about once a year - they are far too busy to come to us! DS saw them more often when he was young but everyone acknowledges they have their own lives to lead.

I'm 2 and a half hours from my family which is perfect for me

If you are really close to your family I can see it would be hard but only you can decide what is more important for you and your immediate family.

I don't much like the journey to my mum's because it involves the M25 but my dses see plenty of my parents and their cousins despite the distance. When they were younger I used to take them up and we'd all stay for a few days and now I drop them off in the holidays and come back for work.They love visiting and don't miss out not having family closer imo.

I would never leave where we live to move closer to family, we are lucky to live in a lovely part of the country and I could not return to the miserable place my parents live.

It seems to be all about you. Your 6 year old DC cant go to the grandparents for a chat or maintain a relationship It would seem correct me if I am wrong you are moving into a remote type area from a more populated area
Your DC is going to be moving from an emotionally secure area to being in an "off the grid"area where is is alone with you for a large potion of the day A 70 mile each way trip at least 3 hours plus working itself so away say 11 hours a day.
Being home schooled where will friendships be established etc I am sure you have thought this out but its not made clear the OP describes you as being in a little bubble with you and DC happily existing while hunter gatherer man goes out hunting and gathering.Where are your friends etc going to come from? whats the better standard of life?

About 5,000 miles. We're not a close knit family however and I left home at 18 to go to college, as did DH in his country, and neither of us have lived close to home since.

If you were close to family I guess it would be harder but 70 miles is nothing, just a day trip. You could nearly commute that distance daily FGS!