how would you handle this?

[wonderingsoul]

there was a incident with ds1, he is 8, and in year 4.

a new boy who has been in sdchool for two weeks and from what i hear is challanging.

today at lunch this boy hit, punched, kicked in the side and stomped on my sons back, when it was bnroke up by the dinner lady the boy gave one last kick to his side wshich was the only one witnessed by an adult.

it started with ds tapping said boy on the shoulder to ask a question, he has warts on his hand and thios boy made a remark and told him not to touch him with that hand. boy ignored son again.. then ds tappend him on the shoulder again to get his attention whicvh led the boy to chase him and to carry this assult out. i say asult because this is what it feels like o me.

i was spoke top by the teacher and he is unsure of what happened as they both have different stories.
the above is my sons. he has a mark on his kneck and a bruise on his side and back, noty big and could possably be from playing rugby.. so unsure if the back bruises are connected.

whilst i ccould belive my son swore or wound him up i find it hard to belive he started it or retailaited becasue its not ion his nature and has never done anything like that before, even when young.

how would you handle it as i am raging. how should i handle it with the school? they are talking to the boys mum tomorrow, im not sure why they didnt today like they did me?

I am very saddened that O.P has been so upset by some of the comments on her that she has left the thread upset. How disgusting is it that a women posts for support and is verbally attacked by certain posters. It's small wonder we have such a big problem with bullying when we have adults thinking it's okay for a child to be beaten up because he tapped someone.

Or, a child (who is old enough to know better) persisted in unwanted contact with another person. And came out worse.

oh wait i did, the doctors wont do anything as they are on his hands and are painfull to freeze off , and home remady do not work.

OP I hope you're still reading this. My DD had the same problem at around that age. She was referred to a specialist and eventually got some prescription strength salicylic acid which got rid of them really quickly. None of the over the counter stuff worked for her either.

was it your child gobby? you seem to think his reaction is justifiable personally MY children call the teacher if someone is touching them

a tap to get someones attention is just that a tap it is not a full on assault and most children when pulled away do not continue to put the boot in right infront of teachers and dinner ladies etc this child acted like a thug i would be interested to know just what his home life is like that he thinks this response is appropriate

That boys reaction was way over the top. If someone touches me, I may not like it, but I do generally restrain myself from turning round and giving them a good kicking .

Other childs reactions was extreme but Im guessing that both children her have some form of spectrum disorder, diagnosed or otherwise.

Why would you automatically jump to that conclusion?

Some children have very challenging behaviour and do massively overreact. The trouble is that the other kids pick up on this and then try to push their buttons as they find it funny.

I would be expecting the school to determine whether this was the case or whether your son was completely innocent. If your son was not trying to wind him up, you need to talk to him about listening to instructions from others as that could have avoided the situation.

PS I can empathise over the situation with his hands, I used to have something similar at the age - kids can be cruel.

Massive over reaction from the other boy, even if he felt his personal space was being invaded. In no way did that justify or explain his assault. He could have said "no!" Very loudly or "leave me alone". It sounds as if he has some issues which hopefully the school can start to address and help him to manage his temper.
Yes, DS probably wasn't perfect but that still does not justify the other boys behaviour.
You are wise to go and talk to the shchool and explain the extent of your sons injuries. The fact you aren't downplaying his part in things says a lot about you.

There's is far more to this story.

What question did the son have to desperately ask the child? which meant he couldn't stop when asked to stop tapping him.

Yes, the boy over reacted but this is as the op said a boy with challenging behaviour. and only 8 years old! he asked your son to stop touching him which your son ignored and the son probably responded the way he knew how to, physically. We cant always expect children to react in proportion or think about actions when they can be impulsive. I'd want the boy to have time to discuss how to deal with people who are annoying them and not lash out.
I agree with the above pp in that the son could have looking for a reaction, maybe he had seen the boy get funny over being touched, having his personal space invaded before. Kids are often cruel, maybe the boy is the one being bullied.

Doubt it a black and white situation

Some truly bizarre replies in this thread. Tapping someone on the shoulder warrants a physical assault and an ASD diagnosis?

I imagine the incident went along the lines of other kid making insulting comment about DS's warts, DS wanted to continue the argument after other kid walked off so started tapping him to get his attention... Thus far normal 8 year old stuff the other kid's reaction is clearly very extreme and worrying.

As to how to handle it, although I can totally understand you feeling very angry I'd only pursue it if there emerges an ongoing issue between your son and this kid. It seems like this kid has behavioral issues the school is aware of so I don't think killing up a use about this incident (although it was absolutely horrible) is going to actually achieve anything.