to be depressed by all the threads about women having to tread on egg shells round their male partners....

[Hakluyt]

....men seem to get "irate" and "furious" about things and it's up to women to placate them.

That's not how relationships ought to work.

I grew up walking around egg-shells with my father. We didn't even dare get up to put something in the bin when he was watching something as he would go into an abusive rage.

Never again will I live with someone who makes me feel that way. Yes it is depressing, more so for the poor people who have to live with it.

Unsure if there has ever been any survey conducted but I'm sure there are also many men going through the same scenario with women, just as there are people suffering in all kind of relationships.

YANBU it is depressing.

There seem to be a lot of controlling men around whose moods and demands are accommodated by the women (and children) in their life.

I met a friend this morning who'd had a dreadful weekend dealing with her arsehole of a husband at a wedding.
She told me how he always kicks off at these things and how she gets so stressed when a social event is coming up and she tries to pacify him and keep him away from certain people etc.
What the fuck?
I ask her why she puts up with it. She is in a terrible state today.
She said "I love him. And nobody understands him like me."

I think some women see themselves as saviours of damaged/misunderstood men rather than victims of what is, quite simply, abuse.

I think that we often/mostly see only a tiny bit of a relationship in a thread and that that isn't the everyday relationship
It is worse to observe when it is the same posters posting about abuse over a period of time. I am grateful that this board allows them the time and space to develop their ideas and confidence regarding their relationship and what they want to move forward.
Other sites are quite impatient and victim blaming.

That said I've name called and been physically violent in a relationship previously but that wasn't indicative of the relationship as a whole or of my behaviour in relationships as a whole
If a thread had been written about that behaviour it would have been very worrying for anyone reading it

I agree that there are no doubt plenty of men who are also in relationships where they are walking on eggshells around their female partner.

But what I think is the difference is that society doesn't get together to tell these men that it is their responsibilty to 'keep the peace' in the relationship, or to accept that it's just 'the way it is'. It isn't normalised in the same way that it is for women to expect to be the ones who spend their time placating and cajoling and never being treated as an equal.

For men suffering in that situation the lack of it being seen as a 'normal' thing, even a 'common problem', of course, is that it is hard for them to speak out. Telling others that you are 'henpecked' is less socially acceptable than telling them that your husband is treating you this way.

But I think the numbers are still much higher one way than the other.