To wonder if I am being taken for a ride?

[Millytint]

...or is this me being a grumpy old cow bag?

I have a nice cleaner who comes in once a week for a couple of hours and does a good general clean at the going rate. This suits me as she is good, trustworthy and pretty reliable. I do know I should not take this for granted and am wiling to be told iabu.

So cleaner normally comes when I am at work but it is school holidays where I live (not UK) so I have some annual leave. I messaged cleaner and said that if she wanted time off that was fine, but I was happy to have her come if she was planning on working for the hols.

She came today with her dd who is the same age as my dd, they get on well and are in the same class so it was nice for them to be able to play together for a couple of hours. When it was time for cleaner yo go however girls asked if cleaner dd could stay and play for the day.

I said yes of course she could as was on the spot, but have just taken her home after about six hours and wondered if I was being taken for a mug? The same happened last school holidays and I had her dd for a couple of days. I know it is hard to find child friendly employment, but....?

On the one hand I have a child friendly work place which I appreciate and value, on the other hand I think it is a it much to use your customers as free childcare.

What do you lot think?

i would plan some activity for straight after. once in a while is ok as it's a playdate really. but should not benexpected. if there were no reciprocation i would suddenly be quite busy.

Did she stay to play instead of going with her mum to clean more houses that day?
Has the lady ever taken/had your dd for a play date?

Well if you didn't want her there, couldn't you say no? It doesn't sound like the cleaner was planning on leaving her but your DD wanted her to stay.
Just say no, not today if they ask next time.

Unless It's a massive inconvenience yabu. It seems to me that her DD and your DD enjoy each others company. Maybe next time suggest to her that you find a time that your DD can go to theirs.

Why would she (cleaner) think it was anything other than a genuine invitation? Is there more to it?

It isn't 'using your employer as free childcare' at all is it? This was a parent to parent issue. Maybe next time specify 'Of course X can stay but I'll have to drop her back at Y time as we have an appointment/errands to run.

Tell your dd not to put you on the spot again by asking in front of the child. If she wants a play date; she needs your prior agreement to ask the other girl.
I'm intrigued at 6 hours, though . Don't you agree a finish time when someone comes over? I always do and even that doesn't always stop people taking the piss

its a playdate and it was the girls request. Your cleaner was probably appreciative but if you dont like it, then make an appointment for straight after or make sure you ask the cleaner ifyourdaughtercangoto hers sometimes

Good, I am being unreasonable and a grumpy cow. I have been doing lots of laundry today whilst (in my head) others are having fun. So am probably being a martyr. Attractive.

To answer question yes she stayed whilst her mum went off to clean other houses so will have been more fun for her dd.....and if I wanted to not be a martyr I could have easily said no.

No you are most definitely not 'being taken for a ride' that implies the cleaner planned to leave her child with you, I doesn't sound like she did. If you don't want her there, just say no, I don't think this would present any problems for the cleaner. I have to admit, I thought you sounded quite mean even thinking you were being 'being taken for a ride'.

She wasn't using you as free childcare, from the moment she left the house, her daughter and yours were playmates, in exactly the same way they would have been if she had just dropped her off. Even when she was cleaning she was still responsible for her dd, who just happened to be playing with yours instead of sitting in the room with her.

I'm sure she didn't take the hours with the plan of leaving her dd with you, she didn't ask herself, her daughter (and yours) did, and she had no way of knowing in advance that that could happen. For all she knew you could have had guests over/been planning to go out in the afternoon, so it's not as if she 'planned' leaving her child with you, it is something that developed, and, most importantly, if you weren't happy with it you should have said something at the time! On the spot or not, it's your house, be a grown up!

If you honestly don't want her dd to come next time, then you need to say so! But, tbh, if the child wasn't a distraction (sounds like she was the opposite) and your cleaner did the same amount of work as normal then I don't see what grounds you have to complain. Seems like she, your dd, and hers all benefited, and from your post I can't see how you were affected negatively in any way, so win win all around?

The girls asked if she could stay. You said yes. But you think cleaner is taking you for a mug? I'm also confused as to how you came to that conclusion.

Altkinum... probably because I am in a grump! Should go and have a word with myself

I am presuming that you had the luxury of being able to be at home with your children during the holidays. Your 'lady who does' obviously doesn't have that luxury. She probably felt it would be a much nicer day for her dd to play with her classmate. Personally I wouldn't mind looking after any of my dd's friends in the holidays as they'd hopefully have a better time than being solo or at a holiday scheme. Think of your dd's classmate, it's hardly a nice way to spend her holls is it? Also your lady is cleaning houses for a living to earn an honest crust, I would feel happy to help her out a bit, who wouldn't?! Although I feel your tone is a little superior tbh, a little crass even; as unless you are providing, paid holidays, national insurance contributions, tax, a pension plan, sick pay and professional development opportunities I daresay using the term 'child friendly workplace' is bit far-fetched

Sorry I meant that I appreciate MY child friendly work place...ie as where I go to work is reasonably child friendly

Yes I am definitely being unreasonable

I think being a martyr wouldn't be saying no but saying yes then complaining about it after which is what you are doing. i don't think she was taking you for a ride and if the situation comes up again just say no if you don't want to do it

Fair enough, perhaps you should all go out for tea/ the park together, be friends etc then you could share childcare when you need to, win-win