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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to have to entertain inlaws

32 replies

PunkrockerGirl · 28/09/2014 22:48

In-laws are coming to stay for a week. They are fine apart from making the most colossal fuss about everything. DH does work 2 evenings a week who are non negotiable, other evenings could be changed just for that week. They don't stay with us but in a b&b round the corner.

My gripe is that I work from 6.30-4.30 every day in a very stressful job. I am prepared to entertain pils for the 2 nights that dh had to work despite the fact that they won't go round to the b&b till after the sodding news at 10 even though they know I have to be up at 5.30 in the morning. Anyway, should I tell dh that he needs to reorganize his work stuff for the other nights (he can do this).
WWYD?
.

OP posts:
Original poster
PunkrockerGirl · 28/09/2014 22:49

which are non negotiable

OP posts:
YonicScrewdriver · 28/09/2014 22:51

Yes, of course he should.

No offence, I'm sure you are lovely, but surely they want to see him more than you?

YouTheCat · 28/09/2014 22:51

Yes, he should rearrange what he can.

YonicScrewdriver · 28/09/2014 22:52

And i would suggest they leave in time to catch the news at the B and B as well!

Dragonlette · 28/09/2014 22:52

If he can rearrange his work stuff then of course he should. What is the point of their visit if it's not to see their son? If you need to go to bed, then you probably should be more forceful about them not staying that late at yours on the 2 nights you will be doing the entertaining. Just say "I'm going to bed now, do you want to see yourselves out or will I see you out and lock up now?"

AdmitYouKnowImRight · 28/09/2014 22:53

Do you have an inability to socialise with the family you married into? Hus family = your family

YonicScrewdriver · 28/09/2014 22:54

Hello again Admit.

picnicbasketcase · 28/09/2014 22:54

They are being really inconsiderate to keep you up when they know how early you need to get up. Tell them in advance they have to be gone by nine.

FinallyHere · 28/09/2014 23:01

Re needing to go to sleep early: I tend to just fall asleep, people usually catch on and go earlier from then onwards.

If all else fails, a can i get you anything before i go up to bed, assuming you are OK for them to stay on,otherwise go with the brilliant suggestion above ( sorry , forgotten who suggested shall i see you out now....) Hope it works out for you, xx

cees · 28/09/2014 23:10

Yes tell dh to sort his hours so he is off for their visit and tell them to pull/lock the door after them because you are up so early you are going to bed at a reasonable hour.

winkywinkola · 28/09/2014 23:11

Yanbu

EndoplasmicReticulum · 28/09/2014 23:14

Why are they coming when you are both working?

Op are you a teacher by any chance? I find that marking can be used to good effect when wanting to hide from guests.

FunkyBoldRibena · 28/09/2014 23:15

Erm, go to bed when you need to, and say 'right, I'm off to bed now, see you in the morning, nanite... and stand by the front door holding it open.

LadyLuck10 · 28/09/2014 23:16

How rude Funky.

FunkyBoldRibena · 28/09/2014 23:18

Well, if they can't take a hint, you have to guide them and not wait for them to be proactive.

KatieKaye · 28/09/2014 23:21

Get DH to explain that on the nights he is working they need to leave by 9. Before they arrive. Repeatedly if necessary.
And if they forget, just say that you are really sorry but have yo get off to bed now. With a smile, even if you feel like weeping!

ScrambledSmegs · 28/09/2014 23:22

My dad once got so frustrated with dinner guests who outstayed their welcome to the point of ridiculousness that he went and put his pyjamas on.

It may have been rude but they're still friends now.

I think it's worth a try.

AdmitYouKnowImRight · 28/09/2014 23:22

yonic ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

ProcessYellowC · 28/09/2014 23:29

YANBU to get your DH to rearrange his work nights.

Unplug the telly in advance - "It's broken, repairman is coming next week, I've got a good selection of books here" - maybe they'll be more keen to get back to the BnB to watch news at 10 (and anything else....) Grin

Original poster
PunkrockerGirl · 28/09/2014 23:30

Admit we've been married for 24 years. I love his family it's just this one situation which is pissing me off tbh and I think dh should sort it out.

OP posts:
SpaceStation · 28/09/2014 23:31

I think it's ok to say "you're welcome to stay and watch the news but I have to go to bed at 9 on work nights". Surely they can let themselves out. That way you're not showing them the door as such - but you need your sleep!

And yes of course you shouldn't be on your own the other nights if it can be avoided. Urgh entertaining insensitive, fussing pils and parents is hard work and me and dp both dread it, but we try to share the load.

furcoatbigknickers · 28/09/2014 23:34

I have this on a friday, pil turn up when they feel like... Dh at work... I have 4 dcs 12- under 2.. They exoect dinner.

Original poster
PunkrockerGirl · 28/09/2014 23:38

Yonic you are so right. I tried to explain this to dh but he just doesn't get it. His view is that in laws love coming to see us all. My reality is what I've said above.
Dc are 22 and 18.Confused

OP posts:
YonicScrewdriver · 28/09/2014 23:44

Do the DC still live with you? If so, you can definitely head off to bed and leave them to lock up!

Nanny0gg · 28/09/2014 23:53

Why do they come when you're both working? Wouldn't it make sense for you both to be on holiday?

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