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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you choose to retire early if you could?

59 replies

FlappertyFlippers · 28/09/2014 21:50

Aibu to ask if you would choose to retire early if financially it was an option?

Dh has always planned to retire early as he has type 1 diabetes and is aware that he'll probably suffer from its effects before he's 65. Therefore he has spent the past 15 years working extremely hard, saving/investing his spare cash, etc to fund his early retirement. He's now in his early 40s and once the mortgage is payed off (in 14 months) he could afford to have a decent standard of living without working.

I am 10 years younger than dh, I work very part time (16 hours a week term time only) and the money I earn is not great but its mine and I have good job satisfaction.

This weekend dh was discussing his retirement and he'd automatically assumed that I would 'retire' when he does. However I feel way to young to stop working. So I guess what I'm really asking is 'retiring' in your early 30s unreasonable?

OP posts:
amyhamster · 28/09/2014 21:55

So he's planning for you both to retire in your early forties?
Do you have children you might want to help out in the future?
Has he really saved enough so you can live comfortably in your old age?
If yes I'm very Envy
but no, I'd go mad, especially if I was with dh all day - I need lots of out of the house hobbies Grin

pauline6703 · 28/09/2014 21:55

Could you drop to part time or some sort of flexible working? Friends of mine have both retired recently and I hardly ever see them as they all constantly off exploring new places or visiting a new country.

If you do retire think about the fun of having lots of time with your DH and being able to do whatever you both want. The downside is that you are stuck together possibly 24/7 without the break at work with other people.

Got99problems · 28/09/2014 21:57

I'd retire early but not in my 30s. 16 hours a week term time only sounds like the perfect job, keep hold of it! I'm sure he'll managed to keep himself entertained a few hours a week without you.

Hassled · 28/09/2014 21:57

I would if I/DH could. I know a lovely couple in their 70s who have a motorhome - they travel around Europe for at least half the year. I'd do that.

flipflopsandcottonsocks · 28/09/2014 21:58

It depends on the standard of living I could expect. If it was the same as my current standard then no, I would want to carry on working and get more money, but if I could live very comfortably without much consideration for finances, then yes, I'd retire in a heartbeat! I like my job, but I work purely for the financial gain, not because I actually want to work!

StetsonsAreCool · 28/09/2014 22:05

I am aiming to retire early, but I'm classing that as mid-50s (am currently 30), as DH is 12 years older than me, so I want to retire when he does.

I'd feel weird retiring when I've still got another potential 30 years to work. It would feel a bit, I don't keep, like I was cheating?

Maybe calling it 'giving up work' rather than 'retiring' would help me get my head round it.

Even then, I'd have to be sure of the standard of living I could expect.

bodhranbae · 28/09/2014 22:06

Everyone I know who has taken early retirement has struggled with the boredom/frustration of not working and filled their lives with volunteering and ended up busier than ever.
I don't think 30s is too young to retire if you can afford to do it.

nooka · 28/09/2014 22:10

Personally, no I'd not want to retire early. I am in my mid-forties and expect to have a good twenty more years of work and I'm looking forward to that really. I have a good friend from university who has just retired, he's bought a yacht and is planning to sail the world, which sounds exciting, but I don't think I could do that for decades!

My views are heavily influenced by watching my FIL who took early retirement in his 50s and has really done nothing much in the fifteen years since and my father who retired gradually between 65 and 75 and did loads in those ten years both professionally and personally.

I can totally see why the OP's dh is prioritising retiring early, given his health concerns although I wonder what he plans to do. It doesn't seem very fair to have assumed that the OP also wishes to stop working if she enjoys her job. Still as it's term time only that should give a fair bit of time for fun stuff too?

Sn00p4d · 28/09/2014 22:11

I'd retire now if I could. I'm not even 30 yet lol, maybe says a lot about my job!

furcoatbigknickers · 28/09/2014 22:12

Thats a lifetime of retirement... Not sure i coukd hack it

furcoatbigknickers · 28/09/2014 22:14

I think if you have the money, motivation to keep busy then great, otherwise nah. Mil retired at 50 and was old before her time then but went rapidly downhill.

NoArmaniNoPunani · 28/09/2014 22:15

If I were in your situation I'd work more when DH retires.

CalamitouslyWrong · 28/09/2014 22:15

I'm 33 and I'd retire tomorrow if it were a possibility!

scousadelic · 28/09/2014 22:17

This sounds very early to retire. Given that you are likely to live to your 80s and, if the diabetes is well controlled, your DH could still have a long time (probably 25-30 years). Have you really got enough to live at a decent standard for that long? I think you might well be bored too so need to think this over very carefully

BoffinMum · 28/09/2014 22:17

Every time I get a pile of exam papers to mark, I am seriously tempted Wink

cees · 28/09/2014 22:19

I wouldn't unless I had something else to occupy myself with. I have seen people retire mostly the at 65 and then their faced with empty days stretching ahead of them, they sink into themselves and depression. I would need to be socially active maybe helping out with some charities but no I wouldn't be happy to sit on my arse all day waiting for death.

It's not for everyone, it effects people differently. Where I work once you hit 65 you have to retire and most of my colleagues don't want to, I feel very sad for them because they have no choice in the matter.

MaureenMLove · 28/09/2014 22:26

No, I don't think I could yet. I work school hours, although 43 weeks, not 39 weeks a year and my dd is 19, so the long 6 week holiday is too much for me already.

I'm just starting to consider full time. I'm thinking 10/15 years of that and I'll be ready. So about 55, maybe 60. It does bother me that I'll be too old to enjoy being retired, if I don't do it a bit earlier.

Original poster
FlappertyFlippers · 28/09/2014 22:30

bohdran Everyone I know who has taken early retirement has struggled with the boredom/frustration of not working - yes to this! This is partly my concern, I can't see how I'd fill up my empty days whilst the dc are in school

When I've thought about other people who've retired early they've gone off to explore the world (in a motor home) but as I have dc who are still at primary school this type of entertainment isn't an option for us. I refuse to send my dc to board just so I can drive around Arizona or wherever.

The money i earn doesn't really impact on our standard of living, although I enjoy the feeling of being able to pay for meals out, clothes, etc with my money I know this goes against the mumsnet idea of family money, we do actually have family money, I just like feeling that I too can contribute financially to the family even though dh earns shedloads more than me

We have 2 dc but due to very generous grandparents they have savings accounts with enough in them to pay for uni/house deposits when the time comes.

OP posts:
minkah · 28/09/2014 22:32

Yes! Of course! Pursue your own interests at leisure. What a gift to be able to do that.

Pensionerpeep · 28/09/2014 22:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LeftRightCentre · 28/09/2014 22:35

No way. Far too long a time and uncertainty. Plenty of people with Type I diabetes are well-controlled in their 60s.

nooka · 29/09/2014 01:15

Oh if your children will still be at school then of course I'd not retire as you won't be free to do what you want when you want it anyway. Plus I'm not sure that it would be very good for them (my children started to get a bit peeved with their SAHD not going to work when they were at secondary, it wasn't a very good dynamic when we were looking to instil a good work ethic) What does your dh plan to do?

MrsItsNoworNotatAll1 · 29/09/2014 01:20

If I could have a decent standard of living then yes, I would retire right now. Plenty of things I could be enjoying doing rather than bloody working!

Honestly even if I had job satisfaction I think I'd give it a go.

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 29/09/2014 01:29

I would retire tomorrow if I could!

Well I say that, but I'd be bored silly. I'm in a similar situation with an older dh op, so I do understand a bit.

Dh will probably retire in 6 years max, I'll be 46. Too young to retire but I may reduce my hours if finances allow. Although my job is stressful, I need the challenge and sense of fulfillment it brings. Plus with dh being at home all day, I'll need to get out Grin

I think 50 or around that age is young enough for most people.

Age gap relationships throw up these issues as we all get older. When I first met dh I was 21 and the age gap was unimportant. It's still not a real issue but our future planning is definitely harder. I think dh is becoming very aware that if he wants to go off travelling on retirement he'd have to do it alone because I'll have to work. By the time I reach official retirement age dh would be well in to his 70's!

Bulbasaur · 29/09/2014 01:30

It depends, if you're not going to work, you need to be doing something enjoyable to keep you busy. Lots of older people volunteer and donate their time.

Honestly, if I could retire early, I would. But 30 is way too young unless you're swimming in money and can travel the world doing what you've always wanted to. But I wouldn't just stop working so you can live day to day without working.