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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

3 year old, front seat of car

51 replies

firstposts · 28/09/2014 10:04

DH has been travelling with our DS in the front seat of car. Using booster seat with airbags disabled. After we had discussed not doing this as it felt like an unnecessary risk. AIBU to be really cross?

OP posts:

WhereYouLeftIt · 28/09/2014 14:56

" I truly believed children safest in the back but perhaps Aibu."
I expect adult passengers are safest in the back too. Everywhere tells you that's safest; but I always wonder just how much safer is safest IYKWIM?

I made a personal decision that my son was safe enough to travel up front with me, where he could see me and talk to me and look at the cars (he was very into cars when he was small). Yes, he'd have been 'safest' in the back, but he'd also have been more isolated and unable to see the road (a factor in my car-sickness when I was little).

TeacupDrama · 28/09/2014 14:59

for rear facing the airbag must be OFF

for front facing it should be ON with the seat as far back a possible, it is not safer for it too be off for the toddler

my DH drives Van ( kangoo like mail van, DD has sat in front as no alternative on school runs etc since she was 2,

child are safest in back but sometimes there is a good reason or no alternative to front, like with DH, when i am going on longer journey with just me and DD she sits in front as I can't hear her from in the back even with radio turned off due to hearing problem

YANBU in that safest in back however it is perfectly legal for 3 year old to travel in front in high back booster with airbag on, it may not be as safe but the difference in safety is not huge

we all make judgments about relative risk it would be safest never to take her in car and go everywhere by public transport

Fluffyears · 28/09/2014 15:08

There are guidelines but like all guidelines you as a parent make the choice you feel is best.

TooMuchCantBreath · 28/09/2014 15:15

Everyone is safest in the back. Statistically the passenger seat is the most dangerous. Personally I would want a young child in the back, I don't see any reason to put them at increased risk. Around about 12yo seems a reasonable age to start travelling up front - to me everyone has their own ideas though and it's not illegal.

If you've discussed and agreed something it should be stuck to though. What is his opinion now you've reminded him and explained your side again?

Original poster

firstposts · 28/09/2014 15:36

That I shouldn't have asked mumsnet he is basically telling me to stop fussing. I have showed him the thread but he points out there is no consensus. I still feel back is safest so I hope he will respect that in the future

OP posts:

Lagoonablue · 28/09/2014 15:40

Airbags must be on, unless rear facing baby seat.

Eva50 · 28/09/2014 15:50

YANBU. Ds3 always travelled sitting beside me in the front seat, restrained in the appropriate car seat. It was only to Tesco and back or to school. Short journeys on quiet roads. Then I read of a 10 year old girl in Wales who was killed by the passenger airbag in her mothers car in a low speed collision. I looked into it and there have been quite a few children killed by airbags. Some were not appropriately restrained but some were, the girl in Wales was. There is a Facebook page highlighting the dangers.

I moved ds's seat to the back where he will stay. The risk of it happening is small but it is still too big a risk to take. He would be safer in the back.

m0therofdragons · 28/09/2014 16:39

Front isn't as safe as the back but I do allow 6yo dd to good in the front on short journeys. Never at high speed on a motorway. She had to go in the front of dh's car as you cannot get 3 car seats in the back.

VenusWineTrap · 28/09/2014 22:07

Watching with interest, my almost 4 yr old likes to travel in the front wherever possible to be with me, I have just bought a new car & the salesman mentioned the airbag must be switched off if she travels in the front. He saw the high back booster we use. Interested to know what we should be doing.

TeacupDrama · 28/09/2014 22:11

Unless rear facing air bag should be on, whatever the age of child, it is deemed that it is safer for airbag to go off in front of 3 year old than not in high impact crash hence advice that front seat should be as far back as possible

VeryLittleGravitasIndeed · 28/09/2014 22:20

He's telling you to "stop fussing"? About something you previously had an agreement on? That relates to the safety of your child??

OP you might want to post on relationships as well. I wouldn't put up with that kind of minimising of my genuine concern from DH.

Iggi999 · 28/09/2014 22:34

My 7 year old often asks me if he can sit in the front. He sees lots of his friends being collected and put into front seats. He sat in it once (when his newborn brother was screaming on a long journey) so I could sit in the back. I felt very insecure for the whole journey! So no, he is staying in the back.

coraltoes · 28/09/2014 22:34

Verylittle I think that's a bit heavy handed. OP seems to be posting light heartedly.

VeryLittleGravitasIndeed · 28/09/2014 22:37

Well coral I'm glad she has you here to defend her.

Joshuajosephspork · 28/09/2014 23:09

There was a recent thread on here with evidence showing that a correctly restrained child is safest in the front (airbags off if rear facing) There certainly seems no consensus among experts and in the front seems perfectly safe. If you have an agreement though you should both stick to it.

nannyj · 28/09/2014 23:16

I heard that air bags should be turned off in the front because if they go off it omits a fine powder that can go in the child's eyes and potentially blind them because the child will be the height of the bag unlike an adult. I can't remember where is saw this I think it was on TV but I can't find a link.

Bulbasaur · 29/09/2014 01:24

So basically you just put your child in the most unsafe part of the car, then disabled the safety mechanisms put in place to protect him in the event of a crash.

It's cool though, your son might look quite cute in a halo. You can even decorate it with his favorite things. :)

however · 29/09/2014 01:26

I'd be livid.

TooMuchCantBreath · 29/09/2014 01:44

Actually the experts are pretty unanimous, the middle back seat is the safest seat in the car for anyone including children in safety seats. ROSPA

The back seat is around 55 - 80% safer than the front with the middle back being around 25% safer than the window back.

TooMuchCantBreath · 29/09/2014 01:48

Sorry, the obvious caveat is that the middle back should have a full seat belt not a lap belt. Studies in UK, USA and Sweden all conclude the same (just from a quick Google). The front passenger seat is affectionately known as the death seat by the paramedics I know, I think that started in America though.

Original poster

firstposts · 29/09/2014 08:36

When I posted this I happily imagine a handful of people would jump on to say Yanbu! I didn't imagine a referral to the relationships board DH is lovely honest but I tend to over worry and he tends to under worry so we generally balance each other out. In this instance we have agreed no more front seat travel, very interesting to see what others do. Still not clear on airbag on or off issue though! I've seen convincing posts on both sides.

OP posts:

Bunbaker · 29/09/2014 08:40

"No reason to switch off air bags."

Yes there is. Even in a booster seat the airbag would hit the child in the face. This happened to a friend of mine. Her child ended up with a broken nose.

If you must put a small child in the front seat with the air bag switched on, push the seat back as far as it will go.

TooMuchCantBreath · 29/09/2014 08:49

well this is Mumsnet, definitely a land of many surprising twists and turns! Glad you've got it agreed between you

BertieBotts · 29/09/2014 08:51

Airbags legally need to be off with a rear facing seat, not a forward facing one. But think about where the child's face is in comparison to an adult chest - airbags are designed to go off at adult chest height. Yes a facial injury is less serious than death but in a child seat they're lower down and less likely to collide with the windscreen anyway.

Advice across the board is to push the front seat back as far as it will go and only use it if you really need to use it.

OP don't sweat it. People on here are completely crazy about car seat safety sometimes. In real life it's a balance between what is the safest possible thing (that would be not travelling in the car, then ) and being practical.

Re booster, if it has a back but uses the adult seatbelt then it's a booster (high backed booster). If it has an integral 5 point harness then it's a group 1 seat, toddler seat or harnessed seat (whichever term you prefer!)

naty1 · 29/09/2014 09:31

Surely no point in airbag with car seats for the youngest- 5pt harness because they wouldnt go forward anyway. Airbag would be to stop an adult hitting the dash

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