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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel a little uncomfortable with the choice of photo in the school newsletter?

28 replies

monstermunching70s · 28/09/2014 08:31

My DD is in nursery and on Friday, via Parent mail I received a PDF of the newsletter. My DD is in one of the photos, with a few classmates, playing with puzzles on the floor. DD is turned to the camera, with her dress hoiked up and her legs wide apart, showing her knickers (whole crotch area). I realise that young kids flash their pants unintentionally all the time however it's the pose she is in which makes me feel a little uncomfortable. AIBU to think that the school should have been a bit more careful about choosing this image to be distributed electronically which can now be copied on? I'm not typically over zealous about photos but when I showed my DH the newsletter, saying only that DD was in it, his reaction was of equal discomfort with the choice of picture. AIBU ? If I'm not what would you do in respect of speaking to the school about it?

OP posts:

louisejxxx · 28/09/2014 08:36

YANBU. I would have a quiet word next time you go in and mention that you weren't very keen on the choice of photo and would prefer it if ones where your dd's underwear is visible are avoided in the future.

scarletforya · 28/09/2014 08:40

Oh no. Yanbu.

The school have already distributed it?

All you can do is be straight forward and ask them what they were thinking?

Fairenuff · 28/09/2014 08:42

Speak to the school and withdraw permission for them to take photographs of your child.

StaircaseAtTheUniversity · 28/09/2014 08:43

Hmm not sure. Similar thing once happened with a photo of my sister in the local paper when she was about three. We just all thought it was very funny and teased her for the next ten years about it. But this was the thick end of thirty years ago and maybe attitudes were different.

AlpacaYourThings · 28/09/2014 08:44

YANBU, at all.

Pipbin · 28/09/2014 08:46

YANBU. I work in nursery and girls tend to sit like this all the time. I have to photograph the children for their learning journeys all day, but I never photograph a girl if she is sat like that.
That is just for a learning journey that will only be seen by school staff and parents. This has gone out to all sorts of people. I'm normally of the opinion that people can be too precious about their children being photographed but this is not acceptible.
I would talk to someone about this. It's too late to stop it going out but you can draw their attention to it and make sure it doesn't happen again.

Pipbin · 28/09/2014 08:46

Speak to the school and withdraw permission for them to take photographs of your child.

That is going too far.

notagainffffffffs · 28/09/2014 08:46

Yanbu,my nursery has a disclaimer form that you give permission for photos to be taken and used. You are well within your rights to tell them they cannot use her image

Nanny0gg · 28/09/2014 08:48

YANBU.

I used to take photos for the school and I was very careful which shots I used.
You always had to scrutinise pictures of little ones as they are so 'free' (which is lovely in play, but not so good for posterity) and gymnastic photos can be a nightmare!
But it's not difficult to take a little time and care.

Original poster

monstermunching70s · 28/09/2014 09:00

Thank you for your replies. It's reassuring to know I'm not being over the top. I have been thinking about this since Friday and just felt uncomfortable but when it's your own child involved you do wonder if you're being a bit too precious! I will have a quiet word with them and ask them to be more careful in future.

OP posts:

HamishBamish · 28/09/2014 09:03

YANBU. That photo was not appropriate for a school newsletter. I would be contacting the school.

ILovePud · 28/09/2014 09:08

YANBU, I wouldn't object to this kind of spontaneous photo if it was just in DC learning record but it's really inappropriate to have this in a widely distributed newsletter. I'm sure there was no sinister intent but they need to be more mindful of this, I'd flag this up to them.

mrspremise · 28/09/2014 09:32

Keep a copy, and email the governors/management with your concerns.

WyrdByrd · 28/09/2014 11:06

Regardless of the nature of the photo, the school have an obligation (possibly legal) to request your permission before distributing any photos of your child.

Did you sign anything as part of the original paperwork giving consent?

I work for a large maintained nursery/Sure start Centre & we also use local council photo consent forms for each individual photo we use, which state the date the photo was taken, who took it, who is in it and where it will be used. I also attach a copy of the photo before parents sign it so they are aware of exactly what the image is. We have to hold these on file for 5 years.

I would definitely be having a word in your shoes.

bobbyjo · 28/09/2014 13:44

A lot of people have a lack of common sense. Unfortunately they're everywhere, including schools.

Original poster

monstermunching70s · 28/09/2014 14:30

Yes WyrdByrd I signed the standard photo disclosure permitting images of my child to be used. I have no problem with pictures being distributed per se. But implicit within this consent is the understanding that the school would follow commonly accepted standards and procedures regarding child protection and distribution of inappropriate images. I consider that the school fell short in this area.

OP posts:

Fairenuff · 28/09/2014 14:35

That's why I think you should withdraw permission OP. They cannot be trusted so don't allow them to photograph your child any more. That way, mistakes like this can't happen. As you say, it's out there now, on the internet for anyone to see and that's not good.

phantomnamechanger · 28/09/2014 14:36

YANBU that's shocking, someone has not looked carefully at the picture before using it. Totally against all safeguarding measures.

WyrdByrd · 28/09/2014 15:26

I think Faire has a point tbh, and you can withdraw your consent at any time.

I'm quite glad we have the belt & braces approach due to being and LEA setting, although it can be a bit of a performance.

I use the original consent forms to weed out any non-usable photos before approaching the parents who've given generic consent with the photo-specific form.

I always felt this kind of thing was a bit OTT until I started in my current job, but my perspective changed rapidly within a very short time.

Regardless of all that it does show an astonishing lack of common sense on behalf of your nursery.

Timeforanap1 · 29/09/2014 00:25

I also work in a nursery and can completely see how this may happen, not to condone it all, but generally people in nurseries are pretty sensitive and try to be careful. And none of us are perfect! Have you ever had cause to be concerned about the safety of children before? If not, maybe it is just one of those careless mistakes which unfortunately do happen. If it's part of a pattern of problems, then I'd suggest it more serious. You say it's a newsletter, where does this get sent to? Just parents or elsewhere? I'd go and have a chat with the manager and raise the concern and see what the response is before making too many judgements; if their response is one of indifference then be worried....And also, try not to get too upset about it and possible distribution....thousands of photos of children exist and it really is rare for them to be misused, so don't get too hung up on that.

Bulbasaur · 29/09/2014 02:05

Common sense would dictate you don't publish the photos of other people's children showing their underwear or running around naked.

It's not really about pedophiles finding the photo, it's about taking appropriate photos of children that parents can enjoy and their children can look back at later without being embarrassed. You wouldn't post a picture of a child flipping the bird even if they were just using their finger to point, would you?

Yes, obviously some things are ok to embarrass your children with. Like dorky holiday photos, or silly hats and costumes. Or bath photos. But that's for you as the parent to decide.

scarletforya · 29/09/2014 08:22

I work in a nursery too and am baffled at how this could have happened. Rules are so tight and everyone is conscious of protecting the children.

There's no way this should have been allowed. It's really worrying that not one person along the way from the photographer, whoever set out the newsletter, to whoever checked it, distributed it noticed and flagged it.

Really worrying.

Original poster

monstermunching70s · 29/09/2014 10:37

I received a phone call at 8.40am this morning from the school asking if I could make a meeting with the Head of EYFS, to discuss the school newsletter. I was surprised, as I had not yet had the chance to call the school and DD wouldn't have been in nursery until the afternoon. As my DD is unwell today we arranged to talk on the phone. It seems the EYFS leader had seen the finished newsletter on her phone over the weekend and immediately spotted the issue. She was extremely apologetic and mortified that this had gone out and had already spoken with the Head and held a meeting this morning with all nursery staff to review their policy and to talk through how this had happened. I have been fully reassured that this was a one off, albeit unfortunate, incident. All paper copies of the newsletter have been destroyed and they offered to send out an apology, amend the newsletter and re-issue (I declined as I thought this would simply draw attention to the matter). It seems that the photo was taken by the Head of EYFS and it was inserted into the document. But, on the system, when the newsletter was being created, the image was cropped. It was thought that this is how it would appear when finalised and printed and it for some reason then didn't get checked again (which is the standard practice) to ensure that all photos comply with their policies. Unfortunately the finished image wasn't cropped. I am satisfied that this was an unfortunate oversight and that ordinarily the nursery is very aware of and complies with it's obligations regarding child safeguarding. I have been impressed with their proactive approach to dealing with this and have accepted their apology and reassurance that lessons have been learned and that this will not happen again. Thank you everyone for your comments and feedback.

OP posts:

Iactuallydothinkso · 29/09/2014 10:44

Wow! Great result!

WyrdByrd · 29/09/2014 10:55

That's great news.

Updating the wrong photo isn't a difficult mistake to make, to be fair and it sounds like they've dealt with it really well.

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