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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want to confront my neighbour

16 replies

NorrisCole · 27/09/2014 15:49

Someone has hit my car.

It's scraped at the front right hand side as if someone has scraped past whilst getting out a parking space.

It's ot damaged, but it's got black scrapes along it and I'm not sure they will buff out.

My neighbour has a black car. She has silver scrapes on the front of her car (my car is silver) that pretty muchdue match scrapes on mine.

I can't prove it was her, I have no idea when or where it happened but DP is livid and wants to ask her about it.

I'd rather leave it.

She has a ds in my dds class, I don't really know her that well because I've just moved next to her but she's nice enough and invited me for coffee's and stuff.

I'd rather leave it, avoid a confrontation and possible argument.

Aibu?

OP posts:

LadyLuck10 · 27/09/2014 15:56

This is a tough one and i have no advice. It is probably her but you have no proof so not sure exactly what you can do.

formerbabe · 27/09/2014 15:56

I would leave it but I am quite the coward!

Are you sure they won't buff out? You would be surprised what scrapes can be.

ReadyToBreak · 27/09/2014 16:31

I'd go round and have a chat. Someone did this to my 48hr old car and it ended up costing £450 to fix, even though it looked at first sight that it would buff out.

Unfortunately I didn't have a clue who did it but rest assured if I did I would be saying something!

Also says a lot about your neighbour if they have chosen to ignore the damage they've done to your car! Wouldn't trust her with a barge pole.

RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 27/09/2014 16:38

Tough one.

The thing is, even if you don't ask, you'll always suspect her and to be quite frank you'll never think of her the same way again.

I probably would ask in a "I don't suppose you saw anyone hit our car did you?" type way.

HannerHet · 27/09/2014 16:42

I would go round and ask her. 'Have you scraped my car with yours' and explain about the marks. Hopefully she will come clean, if not there's not much you can do. I wouldn't just leave it though

Original poster

NorrisCole · 27/09/2014 17:15

Thanks for the replies.

To be honest I'm not even sure if she would be aware she had hit it, her driving (parking especially) is quite erratic and her car is covered in bumps and scrapes.

I'm meeting her tomorrow for a coffee so I'll maybe mention it then and clock her reaction.

OP posts:

FesterAddams · 27/09/2014 19:25

Don't see much point in discussing it.
Get it fixed and present her with the bill. She'll either pay it or not.

Strictly speaking you should probably inform your insurers, as not doing so may invalidate your policy.

pauline6703 · 27/09/2014 19:29

I'd really agree that you must tell your insurance company, tell them that you have no plans to make a claim but want them to be aware that your car was damaged and you have no idea who by. That means you are in the clear if you do need to get their help.

KnackeredMuchly · 27/09/2014 19:42

I would get my DH to have a word coward

TweedAddict · 27/09/2014 19:55

I call the police out when something similar was done to my car- insurance wanted a crime reference number. Police asked if I thought anyone had done it, I said next door neighbour, but got no proof, police went straight over and looked at the cars, knocked on the door and ndn fessed up straight away. I claimed against them. I was too scared to go over myself and ask, my car was more badly damaged though, it was backed into with a tow bar, so a pretty mess.

CarryOnDancing · 27/09/2014 19:59

I think I'd ask if anyone else has been driving her car as your cars have matching scratches. At least give her the opportunity to blame her DH!

DebH1975 · 27/09/2014 21:37

Of course she would have noticed hitting your car....you should definitely ask her about it.
If she had any conscience she would have came and told you when it happened

Wisheswerehorses · 27/09/2014 22:42

Don't tell your insurance unless you make a claim. It will go on record and affect your future quotes.

crazylady321 · 27/09/2014 23:01

Well either way your not going to look at her the same way again, you could leave it to avoid any agro but you will always been suspecting her and would never be able to have any sort of friendship with her due to the fact shes not been honest with you

StillSquirrelling · 27/09/2014 23:12

What Wishes said. I know legally you are obliged to tell your insurers about ANY incident/accident involving you OR your car but doing so in this particular incidence will probably affect your insurance premiums.

I was rear-ended whilst stationary at a roundabout last year, whilst driving DH's company car (which I am allowed to drive too). Not my fault and not even my car so my own insurance wasn't affected at all but when I mentioned it to my insurers at renewal, they put my premium up by £20. Not much, admittedly, but this will remain on my 'record' (as it were) for the next 5 years. Many insurers do this - I flew off the handle and cancelled my renewal and hunted around to find an insurer that DIDN'T penalise people for having non-fault accidents. Aviva were the ones I went to, just in case anyone is interested! It seems so totally unfair!

If your car has scrapes in black and hers has scrapes in silver then I'd definitely say something. If she denies it then maybe say that as it wasn't her then you'll have to call the police and report it. Maybe hint that they can do some paint analysis or something.

Jill2015 · 28/09/2014 09:15

Agreed. And nobody is that bad a driver that they wouldn't notice hitting another car. . Is she one of these types 'oh little old me, I don't notice such minor details as damaging other people's property, but I'm such a fun person...'
You also need to be prepared for this happening again, if she parks beside you regularly.

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