to be pissed off that my dps ex can change visiting at drop of a hat

[suchtwat]

We have ohs son at weekend sometimes full weekend sometimes just one night if he has to work, there has been previous issues but everything is going fine at moment and arrangement is going great.

Oh is off work all weekend this week so was supposed to be having his son friday night until Sunday. Its ohs nephews birthday party this afternoon aswell which the boy will be missing even though looking forward to it and we were going to go out for a few hours tomorrow depending on weather.

The ex suddenly sprung it on him yesterday morning that they were off to Blackpool for weekend. Apparently a last minute decision and they dont want to leave the boy out when his half siblings are going. I can totally understand that but I dont see how its fair that if oh was to cancel to do something else shes first to kick up a fuss which is quite rightly so, surely they must of had an idea they were going away I mean he only saw the boy on weds when he picked him up after school and then dropped him at home later that evening, shouldnt she of said something? I know I would of done even if it wasnt set in stone.

I now have 1 grumpy dh about not seeing his son and going to a childrens party childless, my children had been invited but they are with their dad would feel bad to break up their time together.

I know im not been totally unreasonable about been annoyed for the sake of my man I think its pretty selfish but at same time I know ss will be having a fab time would never begrudge him an holiday as im sure oh wouldnt either, its the fact its all very last minute we had plans and oh wont be getting another full weekend off now for the next 3 weeks :(

And its also a Ball ache for sil who has paid per child at the party venue upfront

Hi OP, what would have happened if your DP had said "no" to the change in arrangements and insisted on seeing his son?

Hi Goodadvice. He actually told her it wasnt fair to change plans and he wasnt happy about it but she just guilt tripped him about their son missing out. Maybe he should of said no but then it probilly would of just caused more isues between the 2 of them and also more hurt and confusion for their son.
We took the boy away earlier this year and worked with her to arrange the best week we could go as she didnt want son missing her other childs birthday the week we wanted to go. She has also stopped visits if the son has had partys to go to of her relatives and has now missed his cousins

I think they need to have a discussion along the lines of, "When it's your DP's weekend, that's that. When your DSS is with his mum, that's their time."

If she wants to take him away for a weekend, she needs to arrange that for a weekend when he is not with your DP.

Something like that has to be set otherwise what's to stop her arranging last minute things whenever it's DP's turn to see his DS?