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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to feed my neighbours cat?

38 replies

hollie84 · 26/09/2014 22:47

There's a small cat/kitten that has been hanging around my house recently, trying to come in and make itself at home. It must belong to someone nearby but I have no idea who.

I've noticed recently that it is very skinny, sticky out ribs and a sort of sunken stomach - you can see it breathing quite clearly through it's stomach iyswim.

Would I be wrong to "encourage" it by putting out some food and water?

OP posts:
LifesUPandLifesDOWN · 26/09/2014 22:51

With the way you've described the cat being too skinny I'd say YANBU but beware that if you feed it it'll come back for more lol. Cats are renoun for having more than one home x

ShatnersBassoon · 26/09/2014 22:52

Cats are supposed to be fairly bony, and they're very good at acting as if they haven't been fed in days. I'm not sure what you mean by sunken stomach - it's stomach isn't round?

gordyslovesheep · 26/09/2014 22:52

hmmmm not sure - my cat is currently missing - she's a rescue stray from CPL - she's had a tummy bug so she's thin looking and she tends to behave like a stray so she'll beg for food - but she has a home where she is loved, flea treated, vaccinated, insured, microchipped and cared for

I think some one has 'fed' her and consequently claimed her - and it's making me and the kids :(

so YABU but then again if it is stray and hungry yanbu ...

WorraLiberty · 26/09/2014 22:54

Take it to a vet and ask them to scan for a microchip?

That'll solve two problems

  1. They'll know whether the weight is anything to worry about

  2. They'll know where it lives if it does have a chip.

Some cats are just plain greedy and skinny, so I would be wary of encouraging it with food.

Original poster
hollie84 · 26/09/2014 22:56

Shatners - no the stomach isn't round really, it dips in after the ribs. My cats growing up were all quite a lot bigger so I may not be the best judge.

I'd say this cat has been hanging around for about 6 months maybe. It's definitely not a stray as it occasionally has a collar. I haven't fed it yet but it comes into the garden and lets the kids play with it (!) and tries to get into the house to sleep.

OP posts:
bikermouse1 · 26/09/2014 22:57

Oh, please do. I was in a similar position, love cats(mostly) but didn't want to encourage it to make its home with me. So I left dried food and water at the far end of the garden and we co-existed beautifully. I'm pretty sure she had a proper home but certainly needed more food than she was getting. Yours certainly sounds in need.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 26/09/2014 22:59

You ought to take the cat to a vet and see if they have been microchipped, if they have then you can return her and talk to the owners. If not chipped then I'd be checking lost pets FB / websites to see if she is lost. The vet would also be able to tell if she is undernourished, uncared for etc.

Original poster
hollie84 · 26/09/2014 22:59

When it first turned up I thought it was a kitten but it hasn't got much bigger. At first I thought it was just a skinny cat, but in the last week or so I have noticed it's stomach moving rapidly, I think as it breathes.

I did have a good feel of it's stomach for kittens in case it was pregnant, which is when I realised how bony it is.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 26/09/2014 23:09

bikermouse cats are natural scavengers, therefore it's likely that you simply prevented the cat from eating at home/spending more time with its owners.

An old lady who lived down the road to me did exactly what you did and it took me ages to find out where she lived, so that I could politely but firmly ask her to stop.

My cat ended up staying out for 3 nights in a row and not being hungry enough to eat, when she did come home.

It was only when she stopped, that we finally 'got our pet back'.

She meant well though, as I'm sure you did Smile

bikermouse1 · 26/09/2014 23:21

Worry, I'm sure that this cat was hungry and probably didn't belong to anyone at that time.I left enough kibble to keep it going only, not actually a meal just in case.... I think that in time it got adopted by people down the road but up to that time it was living on its wits. Oh, and birds...

bikermouse1 · 26/09/2014 23:21

Sorry, Worra not Worry ..

ABowlofPetunias · 26/09/2014 23:25

Vet is the way forward. Or perhaps but a collar on it with one of those little silver carrier things that you could put a note in?
"Is this your cat? I don't mind at all but she's keen on getting food off me - please call if this is an issue ####"

or something more eloquent!

gentlehoney · 26/09/2014 23:38

No. Feeding the cat wont help in the long run. She might have a medical condition that you could make worse, and it might be against the wishes of the owner.
Perhaps you could send a message via her collar to check she belongs to someone? Then once you know where she lives you can contact the RSPCA if you have concerns about cruelty.

WorraLiberty · 26/09/2014 23:45

It's ok bikermouse I've been called worse Grin

It sounds like you did the right thing in your case.

Maryz · 26/09/2014 23:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hatespiders · 26/09/2014 23:50

The poor little thing! I've had cats all my life, up to 5 at a time, and have also showed them at National Cat Fancy shows. Even if this little cat 'belongs' to someone they obviously aren't looking after it properly. Please do go on feeding it. If the 'owners' don't like it, they should jolly well feed it properly themselves. Winter is drawing on and it will be cold as well as hungry. It certainly should NOT have ribs showing and be bony.
Taking a cat to the Vet costs quite a bit of money even just for a chip-scan. But if you can afford to pay it will reveal who the owners are and if the cat is in poor health.

I have 3 cats at the moment. They aren't fat, but are so well-fed they wouldn't be the least bit interested if anyone offered them a snack!

Over the years I've taken in loads of strays, thin and poorly, and suffering from the cold weather. They're lovely creatures and deserve our help.

WaroftheRoses · 26/09/2014 23:53

No, don't feed it. We have an old cat with hyperthyroidism, who is very thin. He is meant to be medicated daily but frequently disappears for 48 hrs at a time so misses his meds. He must be being fed elsewhere as it is so frequent and he always comes back. Consequently we are struggling to control his condition. Keeping him inside isn't an option as he turns crazy if he can't get outside. If you know this cat has a home elsewhere-don't encourage it to leave and move to you.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 27/09/2014 00:08

Do not feed a cat if that cat does not belong to you. There are quite a few reasons why a cared for cat may be quite skinny and even more reasons why you shouldn't feed them.

ByTheWishingWell · 27/09/2014 00:08

Don't feed it. Our old cat had a lot of health problems, and was on a prescription diet. We knew he visited/scavenged off lots of the neighbours, so went round everyone letting them know the situation, and offering to give them some of his food if they really wanted to feed him something. One woman in particular was adamant that we were being really mean to him, and he needed treats and feeding up. I caught her putting out bowls of cream Hmm and other crap for him. He got a lot sicker, his organs failed and we had to have him put down. Obviously we have no proof that it was because of what she fed him, but it certainly didn't help.

I'd try to find the owners (check the collar when it has one, ask around, get the vet to scan for a chip). Obviously if it's clearly starving and doesn't seem to belong to anyone you'd feed it, but experience has taught me that it's better to be on the safe side if possible. Being skinny doesn't necessarily mean it isn't well looked after.

Chumhum · 27/09/2014 00:13

Buy one of those little barrel things to attach to its collar, put in a note with your mobile asking if it's ok to feed it. If you don't get a text within a few days feed it. Go to the vets first to check if it's been microchipped though.

MyGastIsFlabbered · 27/09/2014 08:12

If it definitely belongs to someone please don't feed it. I think we are losing one of our cats because someone else is feeding it. They've offered to take her on but I don't want her to. But they keep feeding her and she has to have a special diet so what they're feeding her is making her look more scrawny. It makes me Sad

Stinkle · 27/09/2014 08:25

Do you have a Cats Protection League near you? Ours give out little paper collars you can put on them which asks the owner to call and confirm it does have a home/not a stray

I had an elderly cat which one of my neighbours started to feed - cat was skinny and a bit raggedy so they decided I wasn't looking after her properly. Cat was 18, and on a special diet - they made her really ill

londonrach · 27/09/2014 08:29

Dont fed it as it could be on medication. Instead could you take it along yo the vet (you might need to use food to get it into the basket) to see if microchipped. Sounds as if its ill or lost.

DMCWelshCakes · 27/09/2014 08:35

Don't feed it, but do try to find out who he belongs to.

Our cat had hypothyroidism and was on a load of medications & a special diet. Thanks to the "care" of the neighbours, we were unable to keep him properly medicated (same scenario as ByTheWishingWell ) and as a result he got iller and killer.

In the end he died.

It's not always a kindness to feed other people's pets.

ReadyToBreak · 27/09/2014 08:44

Do not feed the cat.

It's not yours, you don't know its medical history or if its on a special diet.

My two cats look lean but very healthy (5kg and 4kg each) - to my neighbours that equals skinny and unfed, so they've been feeding them which has been making my girl very ill. They've even put a f#*~ing cat flap in for them. And no, they don't have their own cats.

If you're that worried take the cat to the vet to see itlf its chipped. Find the owners, speak to them but do not feed the cat unless the owner gives you permission.

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