to be fed up my ex wont take the bloody money?!

[dolceandgabbanter]

We split 5 years ago. Since then I've been trying to buy him out of our house.

At first he wanted an unrealistic sum for his share. Then, when he got more sensible, he wanted to impose a ridiculous timescale, 3 weeks to get the money and get his name off deeds etc.

Then he got solicitors. In total I had letters from 4 different firms. All invited my proposals for settlement, then never replied. The last firm started court action. That got stayed 2 years ago for us to mediate. We did, it was a waste of time as the mediator was useless.

since then, nothing. I have tried to contact him, asked him what his bottom line is. No reply. Meanwhile he moans to our DC that he has no money and is stuck living with family. But if he took what I've offered he wouldn't be!

It's a control thing.

He thinks while he still has this hold over you he can do what he likes. I'm not sure what you can do about it though. Can you force it through?

I just don't get it. Why live in uncomfortable conditions (he's a middle-aged man, yet living where he I he doesn't even have a room of his own) when you could have £30-40k?...surely after 5 years the lure of money would outweigh wanting to control me?!

I could try and take it to court myself, but the cost is potentially substantial. For something we should be able to agree between us.

I don't get it either but it's amazing the lengths people go to when it comes to cutting off their nose to spite their face. You can't argue with stupid (and that's the second time I've said that tonight).

If you really want shot of that money, I'll have it

You are that wonderful he can't get over you, so yes, he prefers the control to the money!

Well I am wonderful of course! ;)

But I do still wish he'd take the sodding money. I want to move in about 5 years once DC are off to college/ uni, at this rate I'll still be waiting for him to agree the money. He's nearly 59, so pushing it to eve get a mortgage now. He'd have had more chance 5 years ago.

Oops that should be nearly 50, not 59!

My exh did the same thing. I asked to buy him out,had 30 days to sort it out before I lost the rate lock. He tols me hed never sell to me. Then got a lawyer involved who issued a court summons to make me buy him out .

He played silly buggers all the way to day 28 when I finally said ok well I dont want to buy it now.Called the whole thing off. Suddenly he wanted to sell. We hadnt even had an appraisal done at this point. We actually closed with 2 hours to spare before I lost the rate lock.

He was just being a dick and as soon as I backed off he changed his mind as his control was no longer working.

I gave him $110,000 and he promptly got a new lawyer and dragged me back through the courts just cos he could arsehole But thats a whole other story

I reckon as well as control he's holding out for 50% of the value once you sell up even though he won't have been paying the mortgage for years!!!

There is no way he will ever get 50% thankfully.

Am tempted to give him one more chance, then take him to the CSA. Always said I wouldn't as I don't want his money. And to encourage him to agree. But I might as well get something out of him while I can...

He's just been on the phone to the DC, he can't buy something they've asked for as he is 'skint'.

Yet he could be much better off if he'd take the money! Grr.