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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Be Annoyed With Man on Plane

94 replies

FaultlesslyFootloose · 26/09/2014 16:36

Was on a short flight home last night, budget airline. Was sat in the middle seat between two men. Man in window seat arrived when we were all sitting down, so we had to get up to let him in. No problem.

He sat down, immediately touching my arm, so I sort of shuffled up, and he withdrew, only for this to be repeated a few times. So I ended sort of hunched up over at the side of my seat. He was one of those semi body builder types, tight white t shirt revealing colourful tattooed arms. Again, not a problem. I just didn't want to sit with our arms touching, as if we knew each other intimately.

He started making comments about the plane taking a long time to taxi to the runway (it didn't really), I just ignored him, closed my eyes and began to snooze. Only to be woken up by more arm touching, bumping and muttered comments. I ignored him. This clearly annoyed him as he tried to make conversation, I opened my eyes, sort of grunted to acknowledge but make it clear I didn't want to make conversation.

More bumping and jostling. Over the course of that 1 hour 10 minutes flight, he got up and down to the toilet twice, ordered a cup of coffee, leaned over me to get it, touching me again, told the waitress he didn't need sugar "because he was sweet enough anyway" and "we could all do with a bit of sweetness in our lives". I continued to ignore him and try to sleep. He then turned his Ipad headphones up full volume, which I could hear, but I ignored it. By this point, I was determined to give him no reaction whatsoever as I had worked out he was an attention seeking type. He then started singing to the music, and then started dancing in his seat (upper body only).

Thankfully, we landed. As we did, everyone in the outer seats got up and got their cabin bags out and the aisle became very packed. I remained sitting as I couldn't see any point in getting up. After what must have been no more than about 30 seconds, window seat man got up and climbed over me. He actually just climbed over the top of me, no excuse me, I want to get out. He then stood stuck at the seat next to me for the next ten minutes until we could leave the plane.

It was the worst person I've ever sat next to on a plane. Ever. Am I being U to come to that conclusion?

OP posts:
Littlegreyauditor · 26/09/2014 18:14

Oh god. I bet someone has a story like this about me. Blush

Coming back from Corfu we had a 12 hour delay, in 35 degree heat, in the vile pit of cess that is Corfu Airport. I was leaving my mates at Manchester and catching another flight onwards, so I booked B&B near the airport, but due to the delay didn't get to use it.

So, after 12 hours on an airport floor, four hours on a plane with no sleep and a violent hangover, I had to haul ass through Manchester airport to catch my flight home.

Smelling like feet and cheese and probably arse, covered in roughly 1 entire can of Sure For Men (no other deodorant was accessible) I ended up in the back row beside a very attractive young man in a suit who was visibly shaken at the sight of me.

The next thing I knew the plane was taxiing to a halt in Belfast. I looked left and saw the be-suited loveliness huddled against the window of the plane, looking bereft, with a trail of drool down the shoulder of his immaculate suit where I had passed out, snoring like a bullhorn, for the duration of the flight.

I apologised and tried desperately to explain, but the haunted look in his big blue eyes will never leave me. Sad

Sorry to derail your thread OP, but look on the bright side, at least you weren't stuck beside me!

PersonOfInterest · 26/09/2014 18:23

Ha Ha ha!!! Bet he's never flown again!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 26/09/2014 18:23

I have an absolutely humungous arse, and I would not shove my bottom onto the face of a sleeping person. If I had to get out of my seat, I would wake the person between me and the aisle -- because I have enough self-awareness to know that, if I tried to squeeze out past them, my arse would end up in their face and this would be unacceptable.

NanooCov · 26/09/2014 18:27

The size of the arse was certainly relevant to the story. Besides, Easyjet do not fly West Coast USA so totally irrelevant.

But OP - why did you let the bloke clamber over you without saying something??!! My immediate reaction would be to bellow "Stop clambering over me you ignorant fucker!"

But then I'm not one to just sit and seethe in silence - plays havoc with my blood pressure.

MintyCoolMojito · 26/09/2014 18:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jill2015 · 26/09/2014 18:42

He pushes his great girth past the aisle lady smushing her face with his huge bottom. Like full on nose is arse crack totally smothered her. Awful. Just awful.

Oh I shouldn't laugh. Imagine waking to find yourself nose deep in someone's arse crack!

Same here, I laughed too, when I read that, though I felt I shouldn't. Grin
Last time I was on a flight, I was in a window seat, a guy sat in the middle seat, and there was an empty aisle seat. No complaints, he wasn't fidgety or in any way impinging on me, but if I was in a middle seat, with a chance of moving to an aisle seat, I would definitely take it.

sonjadog · 26/09/2014 18:42

I have to admit I get annoyed with people who don't stand up when the plane comes to a halt. I get terrible back pain from airplane seats and I am counting down from the moment seabelts have to be fastened to the moment I can stand up. Anyone prolonging that pain is not going to be popular. I haven't ever climbed over anyone though.

bananaleaf · 26/09/2014 18:44

whois I had to do the magazine down the armrest trick on a long haul flight once. Every time I nodded off the woman next to me would elbow me in the ribs rummaging around in her bag Angry

MomOfABeast · 26/09/2014 19:08

YANBU there's one thing accidentally brushing past you and another deliberately making contact with you. It's especially awkward when you're trapped next to him on the plane. Sounds like he was deliberately making you uncomfortable for attention. At least it was only a short flight imagine being stuck next to him for 12 hours yuck!

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 26/09/2014 19:27

NanooCov Besides, Easyjet do not fly West Coast USA so totally irrelevant

When and where did that particular statement become relevant? Was it mentioned in the OP, or any subsequent reply? If so, I missed it. Sorry if I did, could you please direct me?

Anyone's bottom in your face would be an offence to all senses. A fat one or not ....

An annoying person sitting next to you is just that - an annoying person. Regardless of size or gender. Any twerp clambering over you to get to the loo without asking first deserves a kick in the teeth - regardless of size or gender. Just saying . . .

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 26/09/2014 19:30

I find bloody kids sitting behind me, kicking the back of my seat particularly annoying.
As much as the person in front tilting back their seat, most especially if I haven't even finished eating.
Regardless, however, of their size.
An annoying person is just that - an annoying person Wink

orangefusion · 26/09/2014 19:42

Oh dear Evans. Did you really want to go there?

FindoGask · 26/09/2014 19:45

"my arse would end up in their face and this would be unacceptable."

This thread is giving me the right giggles! I love this sentence most of all.

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 26/09/2014 19:56

Oh dear Evans. Did you really want to go there?

Where? Where should I not be going? Smile
Hopefully not up someone's bottom (either fat or slim). Not an acceptable situation at all!!

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 26/09/2014 20:20

I am always so scared that these threads are going to be about DH. He drinks too much on planes and then falls asleep, lolling about and SNORING VERY LOUD. He is a big man too. He was flying yesterday so I clicked on this thread with much trepidation Grin

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 26/09/2014 21:01

whois I tried to read the nose in arse crack bit out to DH but he had to stand patiently while I cackled like a witchy loon Grin

It was worth waiting for Wink

I can only imagine that poor woman's horror .................

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 26/09/2014 21:04

Thank you, FindoGask >

Obviously I can't take credit for the whole thread .... Grin

Darkandstormynight · 26/09/2014 21:09

YANBU! I agree he was attention seeking, and when you didn't give chase he tried to make 'sure' you noticed him! And the climbing over you was just OTT!

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 26/09/2014 21:21

Actually if he had a nice set of arms I'd have spent the entire flight gawping at them (I do like a nice set of arms , especially hairy ones) by the time the first trolley round was made , he'd have wanted to move Blush

Comito · 26/09/2014 21:32

I must give off 'fuck off' vibes on planes because in 20-odd years of flying, no-one has ever tried to have a conversation with me.

However, if they tried to get past me without asking, I would certainly have a few words for them.

NanooCov · 26/09/2014 21:43

The West Coast USA is relevant because it was on a West Coast USA flight that the arse crack to nose incident occurred. You then questioned another poster (I forget who, you've been on your high horse with so many) and suggested that Easyjet's lack of legroom meant that any size of arse would result in people's noses being endangered should a passenger choose to try to squeeze past. Easyjet is not relevant given they do not fly to the West Coast of USA. Given no further information about whether the legroom was ample or not on the relevant flight, the size of the arse is relevant.

I am fat with an enormous arse. I also have a sense of humour. It was a funny anecdote about am annoying passenger. The poster also mentioned his consumption of whisky. Should we have a pop at her about taking the mick out of alcoholics?

squoosh · 26/09/2014 22:07

I bet his arse crack was really sweaty and whiffy after all that whiskey and sitting in a pleather seat for hours.

WorraLiberty · 26/09/2014 22:19

I'm still trying to work out how I could possibly arse crack someone's face, even if I did fly Easyjet?

I've squeezed past people sat next to me on buses before, if they've got heavy bags or something on their laps and I don't want them to have to stand up.

All that happens is the backs of my legs squeeze past their knees. Still no arse to face contact Grin

helensburgh · 26/09/2014 22:23

Sounds like the poor guy was maybe either nervous about flying or was a bit hyperactive or something.

Viviennemary · 26/09/2014 22:33

Well he does sound a bit of a pain. But on the other hand you sound a bit overly precious. It's a budget airline you don't get your own private suite.