Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU for being really upset with DH?

22 replies

SurreyMince · 26/09/2014 15:44

He invited me to lunch on my break. I delayed my normal lunchtime to fit in with him. When we get to the eaterie, it turns out he's already eaten and is just going to watch me eat.

AIBU to think this a) isn't a lunch date at all and b) if I went hungry because he couldn't make it any earlier, then he should have waited too?

I decided to just go back to work, as the situation deteriorated when I pointed items a) and b) out to him.

NCed...AIBU? Or did I overreact?

OP posts:
LadyLuck10 · 26/09/2014 15:46

Yes yabu. I would think the point would be to spend time with each other?

ARGHtoAHHH · 26/09/2014 15:46

Over reaction in my opinion.

All that should have warranted was a tut and roll of eyes, in a jokey way.

You could have had a lovely hour together.

:(

MorrisZapp · 26/09/2014 15:48

I hate when people do that.

Eminybob · 26/09/2014 15:49

I don't really understand why he ate before meeting you, that's a bit weird and I probably would have got a bit huffy about it too. But I still would have stayed and spent the time with him.

BauerTime · 26/09/2014 15:50

If he wa going to eat first why didn't he tell you that? You could have eaten too and just gone for a nice walk together or something.

OliviaBenson · 26/09/2014 15:50

I dunno, I think I'm with you OP. Fine if he said lunchtime walk or something, but abit rude to invite you for lunch and then eat before. I'd be miffed if anyone did this to me.

Hope he is apologetic when you get home.

BackforGood · 26/09/2014 15:50

YABU to be 'really upset' - seems a bit of an over-reaction. He still wanted to spend time with you. As Argh said, an eye roll or raised eye brow would have done.

Jackie0 · 26/09/2014 15:50

No you didn't overreact at all.
He changed the plan.

ARGHtoAHHH · 26/09/2014 15:53

OP - are you annoyed with him about other stuff?

If my DP had annoyed me previously, or we had an unresolved problem, then maybe I would have had an angry reaction to this. Just trying to understand why you felt so upset.

AmberLav · 26/09/2014 15:53

That would have p'ed me off. I hate being watched eating!

MollyHooper · 26/09/2014 15:55

Plans can change, they are adults.

Perhaps he got hungry much earlier but still wanted to spend time with you?

WorraLiberty · 26/09/2014 15:57

He was wrong not to wait for you

You cut your nose off to spite you face, by not eating.

Original poster
SurreyMince · 26/09/2014 15:59

Argh- you may have something there. Lots of small things (and one big thing, which is my problem and I'm trying hard to get over myself- I didn't want to come back to work after having the kids)

It wasn't that I was super annoyed over him having had lunch (although, just why?? Bauer you put it logically and I think I will quote you later when me and DH talk) but him taking it so badly when I pointed out that it wasn't really a lunch date if he wasn't eating. He was the one who deteriorated the situation- and I WILL NOT argue in public- so unclassy- so I took myself away from the whole incident.

Sigh

OP posts:
SweetsForMySweet · 26/09/2014 16:00

YAB slightly u. He still came to spend time with you on your break, I thought you were going to say he never turned up.

Clutterbugsmum · 26/09/2014 16:00

But surely he would have known OP moved her lunch break so she could have LUNCH together.

It would make me mad too. I think it's just rude, if he asked to meet for a drink and you decided to eat at the same time is one thing, but to ask to for lunch then eat first is just odd.

formerbabe · 26/09/2014 16:01

Yabu...if he had cancelled that would have been a crappy thing to do but you still were together for lunch. I'd happily eat while my dh had a drink and sat with me.

MajesticWhine · 26/09/2014 16:01

He was being unreasonable, and so were you.

cherrybombxo · 26/09/2014 16:01

That's really weird - why on earth would he invite you to lunch but then eat beforehand? Confused

I'd be annoyed too! You moved your lunch hour and then he was just going to watch you eat? Bizarre!

LadyLuck10 · 26/09/2014 16:10

I did this to DH last week. We agreed to meet for lunch. I felt hungry before so I ate. We met and I had a coffee while he ate. That was the end.
You seem very childish op if you walked out for that reason.

mkmjimmy · 26/09/2014 16:17

I didn't realise this was a thing. I'd have made a comment but been happy to see him (we hardly ever have lunch together despite working 5 minutes walk from each other) and have him watch while I ate. Also done this to friends - eaten before meeting up because working lunch or had bought lunch in. Usually because I'm a greedy mare and can't wait much longer than 12 to eat my lunch. And then met for coffee while they eat. And vice versa. If it was someone I hadn't really had lunch with before then I would think it was strange. Someone I know well - just one of those timing things...

mkmjimmy · 26/09/2014 16:19

Posted too soon. Walking out seems a weird over reaction. The kind of thing I'd do if I was really annoyed with him about something entirely different and wanted a row whatever the situation. So whatever he did would be wrong...

Maybe you both need to sit and have a chat and be a bit nice.

ARGHtoAHHH · 26/09/2014 16:20

I'm sorry to hear that you are having problems, Surrey.

When you have issues / feelings bubbling under the surface, its often small things like this which instigates an explosion. I totally get that.

I hope you are able to resolve these problems.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread