Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU - TA with bad attitude

28 replies

mrsstanners · 26/09/2014 13:47

My ds aged 3 started nursery 2 weeks ago. One of the tas has a very aggressive tone to her voice which has been commented on by several parents who jokingly call her miss nasty. On Tuesday my son rode his scooter to school and we were stood in the enclosed school play ground waiting to go in when this teacher banged three times on the window and wagged her finger whilst shouting 'no scooting in the playground'. The noise made everyone waiting just and my ds was mortified. We all commented how surely it would have been more appropriate for her to simply say to me no scooters in a more friendly manner. This rule by the way must be specifically to nursery class as many children in the bigger play ground has them. Being asked to not bring scooter isn't an issue at all, now we have been told it won't happen again but it is more then we in which I was told I found quite unnecessary. There is nothing about scooters in the welcome to nursery handbook btw so not a rule that I have been informed off prior.

So that happened yesterday morning which annoyed me THEN yesterday afternoon I arrived to collect me child fifteen minutes early as arranged previously. When I walked round the corner into the enclosed nursery playground there was a little boy sat on the wet floor (it had been raining) and looking upset, I asked him if he was okay and he burst into tears. I walked further on towards the door to see the ta glaring at me, I asked her 'do you know there is an upset little boy out here?' She replied in an extremely aggressive and snotty tone, 'yes of course I am aware! That is why I am stood here on sight of the boy with the door open!' I replied okay that's fine although there is really no need to take such an aggressive tone with me'
I then collected my child and left. Aibu or is her attitude very off and should a 3 year old child really be left to cry outside in the wet? If that was my ds I would be furious

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 26/09/2014 13:51

She doesent sound very nice or approachable. Her handling of the little boy does not sound very good. Can you complain to the hT about her.

Weelass83 · 26/09/2014 13:51

She sounds like a witch. Put your observations to the nursery leader/manager/teacher and if you're not satisfied, go to the headteacher x

Charitybelle · 26/09/2014 13:55

Unfortunately you get people like this in all walks of life. She may be a bitch, or just completely and totally unaware of her personal impact on others. Either way, you shouldn't have to deal with it from someone caring for your child. Have a quiet word with whoever is in charge, and if something happens again after that, take it further.

VerityWaves · 26/09/2014 13:57

Sounds like the teachers I had at school.. Absolutely awful..

Goldenbear · 26/09/2014 13:58

Why do these people choose to work with children. Definitely report it. My three year old is settling in to a private nursery this week, I'm doubtful of the benefits anyway as she never seems to be happy when she leaves but if I saw that then I would withdraw her!

ineveram · 26/09/2014 14:00

Take your ds out of this nursery and send him somewhere different (and more friendly).

jeee · 26/09/2014 14:04

I've met some awful TAs (and teachers for that matter). I certainly don't think the little boy outside is necessarily a problem. If, for example, he was refusing to come inside she's right to just watch him. And she probably felt a bit embarrassed to be stood by a door just watching a rather damp child.

And really, scooters in the playground always lead to shins and ankles being clobbered.

She might be a cow. But I don't think it's necessarily the case on the examples you give.

Scholes34 · 26/09/2014 14:05

Her tone may be snotty and aggressive, but no-one on here knows exactly why the little boy was sitting outside and upset, so it's quite inappropriate to call her a witch or a bitch based on that.

gamerchick · 26/09/2014 14:06

Be careful how you report her. I reported one last term about her aggressive manner towards me and man did her close friends the head and deputy head wage war on my arse.

Go above the head and report it properly and keep logs on every little thing that you see happen.

Even if you find another school report her anyway. Sometimes I think some TAs get a bit power hungry and above their stations and need reigning in.

UncleSue · 26/09/2014 14:08

Why some people go into this kind of role when clearly they are not up to it is beyond me. She sounds vile. Poor child, why do schools hire people like this. You are right to be concerned, I would speak to the head.

LittleBairn · 26/09/2014 14:10

YANBU she pounds awful. They are the sort of people that get away with it due to people being fearful, the only way to stop it is to challenge her each and every time.
I would speak to nursery management they are likely aware of the situation but when parents start questioning them they might be more pro active getting this woman some more training.

cherrybombxo · 26/09/2014 14:12

I've never understood why people like this work with kids. We had some absolute horror shows teaching us and you do wonder why they'd even consider such a career if they don't have a sensitive, caring bone in their body...

Viviennemary · 26/09/2014 14:14

She does sound a nasty piece of work. I'd have a word with the Head Teacher.

cheesychipsngravy · 26/09/2014 14:17

Sometimes I think some TAs get a bit power hungry and above their stations and need reigning in.

The TA in my son's class is a nightmare. All the kids are scared of her because she is forever shouting.
Some come out at the end of the day crying.

His teacher on the other hand is lovely Confused Shouldn't it be the other way round?

mrsstanners · 26/09/2014 14:31

I understand that the situation might have been easily explained, I work with early years children myself and know how they can be, more than likely the little boy did throw himself on the floor and perhaps refused to come back in but she just had such an awful attitude about it, why not offer a few words to explain the situation, I certainly would if one of my parents (I'm a childminder) seen a child in a similar situation

OP posts:
TiggerLillies · 26/09/2014 14:32

Doesn't sound as though she has the best attitude for her line of work. I remember once working at a nursery (I was supply so not familiar with the setting) and one nursery nurse really seemed to have it in for me and was extremely negative in her attitude to everything and everyone. I later found out she had been on compassionate leave and just returned the week before after her 3 year old son had died the year before.
Knowing that helped me not to take it personally, to be more patient and also try and be open minded about negative people I met in schools after that (I did a lot of supply and often met very stressed members of staff). Maybe there is a good reason for her being the way she is but most likely the staff are fully aware of what she is like.
Good luck whatever you decide to do.

pregnantpause · 26/09/2014 14:38

It's the other way round in dds nursery class- teacher seemingly couldn't give a shit and certainly doesn't like children Hmm the ta is a godsend. Working with children is a vocation, not just a job. It's not for me, and I can't get my head around people who do it without checking their suited to it first.

Scholes34 · 26/09/2014 14:40

Well I hope none of you ever end up on a jury.

hiccupgirl · 26/09/2014 15:05

You don't know why the boy was sat out there crying...she could well have spent a long time trying to persuade him to come in as it was wet for him to refuse and just sit there crying at her...I should imagine she wasn't in the best mood then when you ask if her if she knows that he is out there.

To be fair she does sound abrupt and on the rude side but how is she with the children? IMO if she is good with the kids, that is more important than whether you like her or not. Obviously if she's not good with the kids either then she should be looking for a different career.

x2boys · 26/09/2014 15:10

Same here pregnant pause last year when ds2/was,in nursery his teacher was terrible Ds has ASD and learning difficulties his teacher just let him do what he wanted everyday I took him in all the other kids/would be sitting nicely on the floor ds would go straight to the sandpit and do whatever he wanted his teacher never encouraged him to sit with the other kids she wouldn't even let him be in the nursery nativity as he is non verbal! His ta on the other hand was lovely and basically was the only on e who gave a shit about him !

Allisgood1 · 26/09/2014 15:27

Tbh, I would be seriously considering pulling my child out of that nursery with staff like that.

momwhereismy · 26/09/2014 16:58

Sounds abrupt and very like one of my ds ta's, the other one is very quiet and shy but lovely. I've taken any instant dislike to her, today she shouted at the children in the line and i haven't heard the other teachers yell at all. I am sure they do but I thought it was uncalled for and would be really cross if she spoke to my DS like she did. She always seems to have a scowl. But i wouldn't report her as I wouldn't gain anything and just cause tension.

RufusTheReindeer · 26/09/2014 17:07

I certainly wouldn't talk about a child's behaviour with anyone but their parents (not a teacher or TA but I do know there is supposed to be confidentially in schools)

FlossyMoo · 16/01/2015 00:09

YABU because you have forgotten you actually have a 3 yo on your other thread OP Grin

Here

LaurieFairyCake · 16/01/2015 00:16

Flossy, maybe the OP doesn't mention her 3 year old on that other thread because she's solely talking about her 1 year old Confused

Swipe left for the next trending thread