To ask for your flirting techniques?

[creampie]

I'm looking for something subtle. The kind of thing where, if he's interested he feels bold enough to flirt back, but if he's not he doesn't feel the need to get a restraining order

I'm crap at this sort of thing!

there's nothing better than just being really interested in what they're saying, really listen and really encourage them to talk and be interested and listen some more and work out what they love to talk about. Attention, good eye-contact, praise, humour, praise, eye contact etc.

After that talking about their appearance in any way is flirting, saying they are tall, strong, tanned, healthy, losing of the weight, bright eyed all that stuff is good.

smiling and eyecontact and interest. Be very careful about looking around for someone more interesting, people pick up that drop in attention at once.

apparently if you see someone you like and you want them to come over and talk to you, you should make direct eye contact, hold it a little longer than you would do if you weren't interest, flick your gaze to his gentleman's area and then make eye contact again*

• disclaimer - probably ok for getting laid

genuine flirting technique? no need, just have a bit of a chat. DP and I got together at work and I fancied him rotten, I made an effort to talk to him whenever we were in a social setting. Things escalated, if they hadn't I'd have just been a woman who he chatted to and got on with at work. Just make the effort to chat and be interested in what he has to say.

Ok, can probably manage that (minus the gentleman area eye contact!)

How do you know if someone is interested in you, rather than just being friendly? I realise this makes me sound about 12!

It's quite hard as we work in quite a professional area, where people are very worried about behaving inappropriately and ending up in front of tribunals

DP and I were the same, professional environment (I was sort of his boss, supervised his work , had to give him formal feedback etc) took a year to get together and it was very frustrating along the way but we just wanted to be absolutely sure we were both singing from the same hymn sheet.

Try offering the opportunity to see him outside of a professional setting but still on a casual basis and see if he bites. for example DP and I both really like playing board games and there was a pub near us that runs a weekly club so we went along together.

If you talk to him about things you both like and then offer the opportunity to do it together it's less scary than going straight in for 'would you like to go for a drink sometime'

Good tip, thanks

Agree with the eye contact thing..
Even if the other person doesn't notice (usually me), someone will point out to them, "I think someone's got the hots for you ".