Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

to expect work to remember me while I'm on maternity

21 replies

Schmoop · 25/09/2014 16:35

I've worked for a small company for 4 years before going on maternity leave. I work in the same room as the owners and one other member of staff.
AIBU that they have made no effort to keep in contact with me whilst I'm on leave. I told them when I had the baby and sent photos, I went to visit them when I was confident to get out of the house. But unless I get in touch I don't hear anything from them, just get my payslip through the post.
Am I being oversensitive?

OP posts:

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 25/09/2014 16:36

What do you want them to keep.with touch with you about? Not work surely? Yhey probably want to just leave you be.

whatsthatcomingoverthehill · 25/09/2014 16:36

Ummm, yes, probably.

Unless you viewed them as friends outside work too.

babykonitsway · 25/09/2014 16:37

I think your being a wee bit sensitive. They probably don't want to disturb you when your on leave.

Before your leave started were you friendly with them or was it a purely colleague relationship, ie did you go out for lunch, meet outside work etc?

AlpacaMyBags · 25/09/2014 16:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Schmoop · 25/09/2014 16:42

Oh so it is just me overthinking it! No we don't do anything socially so yea perhaps they're just letting me get on with it. Wasn't sure if it was normal or not

OP posts:

HumphreyCobbler · 25/09/2014 16:42

I have noticed this about work through the years. When you are not there, you don't exist! I am a teacher and a few years ago I did a mat cover in a school that had gone into special measures, I was there for 18 months in total and did four inspections with them. All the staff were incredibly close, we were under siege and we bonded with the stress. When I left there were tears, hugs, presents.....and then boom, that was it. NOt one of them ever contacted me again!

LadyLuck10 · 25/09/2014 16:42

Err.. Yabu. What do you want them to contact you about. You've been in to show them your baby, not sure what else they should do?

sparechange · 25/09/2014 16:43

Judging by the threads from people asking if they should seek legal advice because their work has contacted them while they've been on maternity leave it is makes them feel harassed, YABU.

What do you want them to contact you about? Work?

beccajoh · 25/09/2014 16:44

I didn't hear anything from my work unless I contacted them, aside from them sending card/flowers after I'd had the baby. I think it's pretty normal. I'd have been peed off if they contacted me all the time about nothing in particular!

HappyAgainOneDay · 25/09/2014 16:45

I think this is normal, OP. Work is work and it's only at work that you know these people. If you are not at work, you are not there, are you?

I've been there. I worked for a comprehensive school and was always involved in social events like Christmas dinner (even organised it) or a barn dance or activities at lunch time for the pupils. Once I left - after 9 years, I heard from not one of them.

dorasee · 25/09/2014 16:48

Don't take it personally. There is a bit of 'out of sight, out of mind' that goes on, not because they don't care about you, but life keeps on keeping on and people get busy. I am sure when you go in to see them with baby, they are delighted to see you, so you should keep that up. It's good for you and it's good for them too. And actually, that's all that needs to happen really.

BackforGood · 25/09/2014 16:48

What sparechange said - I've seen loads of threads on here where people have moaned about work keeping in touch with them - seems people can't win.

PickleMobile · 25/09/2014 16:52

The only time my work contacted me was to ask me to come in for a meeting to tell me I was being made redundant! bitter

Original poster

Schmoop · 25/09/2014 16:56

Glad it's the norm and not just me then Like one the posts said I'd probably be getting annoyed if they were getting in touch all the time

OP posts:

ajandjjmum · 25/09/2014 16:56

As someone who is in pretty much your situation, in that we are a very small team, and tend to be pretty close, I would be reluctant to 'keep in touch' incase you thought it was just about work, and felt pressured.

Have you said 'I would love to know what's going on - if anything exciting happens, please give me a shout'. Or asked for a 'keeping in touch day' or whatever they're called.

I know they are probably busy, but I would normally like to keep in touch with people, but always wait for them to make the first move.

Lonecatwithkitten · 25/09/2014 16:57

As a boss in a small company it's really tricky to strike the right balance when people are on maternity leave. One person's right amount of contact, is another's too much and a third's too little.
We send payslips, write about pay rises or change of job opportunities, invite to Christmas parties and respond to flexible working requests and KIT days requests.
Response range from I have had a baby why would I want to change job to why did you phone me every single time a popped out for a naughty take away lunch.

Lonecatwithkitten · 25/09/2014 16:58

That should why did you not phone me about the take away.

Upsydaisymustdie · 25/09/2014 16:59

Staying in touch during any kind of extended leave usually turns out to be easier for larger companies, because employees can opt to continue to receive things like email newsletters or other company comms, and still feel in the loop without having to participate in work. In an ideal HR world, before your leave started, you'd have had a meeting with your manager to agree how you'd both stay in touch during your leave.

It's harder for smaller companies, where communication may always be verbal, so not being in the office can leave people feeling rather cut off. I write this as the HR person for a small company, currently on your sort of leave, so feel your pain! Also, your managers may be unsure whether contacting you would feel like asking you to work, or to use one of your optional ten keeping in touch days. I know it's tough, but perhaps have a think about whether there's anything small you would like to improve. I log in to my work email about once a fortnight, and send a few lighthearted replies if there's anything appropriate. Otherwise, I just stay in touch with the one or two folk I was particularly friendly with.

Congratulations on your new child!

secretsquirrels · 25/09/2014 17:02

If there was someone from work who you socialised with outside of work that's different, but otherwise I think most people make the mistake of thinking work friends are real friends. They can be of course, but mostly it's just a bonus if you get on well with the people you work with.

Andrewofgg · 25/09/2014 18:24

When a new mother lets my office know that she has had the baby there will be flowers and a card, but that's as far as it goes or should go. The only exception is when they ask to know the outcome of a particular case, then of course we tell them.

Dinnerfor1 · 25/09/2014 18:34

I would have been annoyed if work had been contacting me much during maternity leave.

However, I could get a rough idea of what was going on and any changes happening, because any updates or diary sheets were emailed to all staff, so I could just check my emails and feel like I wasn't completely out of the loop!

Flip